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Opivotal 03-03-2018 06:48 PM

Nichole, You most certainly are not a lost cause. Alcohol can scramble our rational thinking process. Mixed with your other med's it can be a disaster.

I can't make you stop drinking tonight, but please, if your goal is to get blackout drunk ... please ... remove the bullets from the gun or better yet get rid of it all together. Throw it out the door if necessary. I'm very concerned about your safety.

xxxNICHOLExxx 03-03-2018 06:49 PM

Thanks everyone if I quit drinking how do I deal with myself now??? Only way I can go to sleep is if I take my Ativan and Ativan and alcohol don’t mix!!!

xxxNICHOLExxx 03-03-2018 06:54 PM


Originally Posted by Opivotal (Post 6808448)
Nichole, You most certainly are not a lost cause. Alcohol can scramble our rational thinking process. Mixed with your other med's it can be a disaster.

I can't make you stop drinking tonight, but please, if your goal is to get blackout drunk ... please ... remove the bullets from the gun or better yet get rid of it all together. Throw it out the door if necessary. I'm very concerned about your safety.

I have like 20 guns loaded in my house!!! I actually just want to leave them in the safe only 2 guns out for safety Incase someone breaks in I already have thought about how to end things and to be honest a gun is 2nd option

ubntubnt 03-03-2018 06:59 PM

Nichole, I think someone breaking in is the least of your worries right now. You could lock them all in the safe and call 911. It would take you 2 minutes and you would be on your road to recovery!

Mags1 03-03-2018 07:01 PM

Hi Nicole, great suggestion Optival said, take any bullets out of the gun and keep them well way, we do crazy things when we’re plastered and adding meds to the equation, well it adds up to a dangerous potion.

Get some sleep. Keep close to SR. Make it day 1.

Have a rethink in the morning.

So sorry to hear of your mums diagnosis.:grouphug:

xxxNICHOLExxx 03-03-2018 07:26 PM

Thanks everyone but I don’t think I can deal with myself at the moment I will set here in regret and miserable that I keep screwing up my life and can’t be there for my family because I’m a screw up idk what to do as in if I stop drinking I’m still here with my thoughts and regret and it will terrorize me all Night how do I go back from here??? If I quit drinking I’m still here thinking if I call 911 I’m going to be consider crazy and then that will probably ruin my life

least 03-03-2018 07:34 PM

Stop drinking now. Drinking makes us more depressed. It makes everything feel worse.

Please get help. :hug:

PalmerSage 03-03-2018 07:41 PM

Nichole, you've been doing so well. I'm so sorry you feel alone. You're definitely not. :grouphug:

Dee74 03-03-2018 07:55 PM

If you're adamant you're not going to get help tonight, I think it's best to tip out whats left, drink some water and go to bed Nichole.

Wake up tomorrow and maybe you can decide what to do then.

D

xxxNICHOLExxx 03-03-2018 07:56 PM

Thank you everybody your truly amazing I’m so thankful for you but I need to sign off thank god for auto correct because I’m not in the right state of mind to be on here I’m truly sorry I’m a screw up I already know this go figure story of my life I hope the best for you!!! You deserve it but I know what I need to do !!!!

Opivotal 03-03-2018 08:01 PM

Nichole, why not call one of the numbers Anna gave you? You can talk this through with someone experienced in these type of situations.

They are there to help you, not make things worse. Give it a try ... make the call. You can decide about 911 after you speak with them.

1-800-487-4889

xxxNICHOLExxx 03-03-2018 08:12 PM


Originally Posted by Opivotal (Post 6808526)
Nichole, why not call one of the numbers Anna gave you? You can talk this through with someone experienced in these type of situations.

They are there to help you, not make things worse. Give it a try ... make the call. You can decide about 911 after you speak with them.

1-800-487-4889

Never had called any of those numbers they probably track you down and alert the cops

Dee74 03-03-2018 09:16 PM

I know you're scared but I've never heard of that.
They simply don't have the resources to track everyone down that way.

Its not why they're there :)


we wouldn't recommend anything that is not in your best interest Nichole :)

LadyBug66 03-03-2018 10:00 PM

I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. Please take care of yourself so you can be there for her. I'm here if you need to talk.

Berrybean 03-03-2018 11:17 PM

Just over a week ago you said you haven’t done AA or rehab as you are trying to keep that as a last option.

Is it time yet? Or you think you want a bit more misery and a few more close calls?
You know, people do die through this illness. By accident and by their own hand. It might not be third time lucky.

Your parents offered you rehab. They love you and want to help you. Thing is YOU have got to care enough about yourself to accept that help.

You could get to an AA meeting today. There are people there who have been and felt just as hopeless as you, and they found the way out and can show you as well. But not if you don't go.

There ARE options. But you need the willingness to try them.

BB

emme99 03-03-2018 11:26 PM

Nichole, Iím worried about you and I hope you were able to call and talk with someone. Iím sorry to hear about your mom. Youíre in my thoughts xx

Snowydelrico 03-04-2018 12:11 AM

Weíre all here for you.
You are not alone.
Although you donít see it now, you DO have so much to live for.

So sorry to hear about you mothers diagnosis.
My mother was diagnosed with breast and spine cancer a year ago along with heart problems.
I drank more every day to blank it out but it only depressed me to the state I couldnít get out of bed.
I went to pre detox sessions for 6 weeks but stopped drinking before the actual detox.
I found my depression lifted and I found easier to find ways of coping with the things life throws my way.

As for the gun play.
Q: What are guns made for?
A: killing.
Throw the bullets away and get rid of it. There is enough danger in your life at the moment.

There is no shame in getting help.
It is extremely difficult to go it alone.
You are a loved
You deserve all this pain to be put into perspective.

Donít feel bad for posting drunk
Or for the things you posted.
You did the right thing coming to SR

Best wishes
Take care

DangerZone 03-04-2018 12:33 AM

I was pretty close to right where you are not too long ago. Fast forward, right now, I am the happiest I've been in years.

Just because you are upset and feeling down now doesn't mean you will feel the same way a month from now or even a week from now. Tomorrow is another day. You can get sober and live a great life. Plenty of people have been in your situation and done it. All you have to do is look at the posts on here. There's probably someone who starts a thread every day saying '2-months clean, a year-clean, ten-years clean etc.' They all were probably in your situation or close to your situation at one point.

Don't give up. Suicide is so very final. That is it. You will not come back from that. You are robbing yourself the chance of ever turning your life around and being sober/happy.

JayTee33 03-04-2018 04:35 AM

Good morning Nichole. Big hugs and hopes that you're feeling a little better today. Try to be kind and gentle with yourself. I really hope you come back here to continue on this journey with us. Your words over the last week have really helped me and I hope we can keep supporting each other. We'll be here when you're ready. Take care.

Rar 03-04-2018 04:55 AM

Good Morning Nichole. I hope you're feeling a little better today. I'm sorry about your mom's diagnosis. Both of my parent's had cancer. They needed me - not only for support, but to help with their physical needs and care. I could never have been there for them had I not been sober. Your mom is going to need you. Please continue to post here. You can get sober! You have the power to heal yourself and we can help. You're not alone.


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