Freedom to just be
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Freedom to just be
Kind of a grandiose post title but it's how I feel right now. My wife is at a kids movie with my son and her niece right now. I saved $15 and my sanity by skipping it. So I was on my own, walking around the city, no obligations.
It is the type of situation that I would usually take advantage of by getting a point, stuffing it in my jacket and wandering around drunk.
Instead I've walked the same streets sober. A bookstore, a coffee shop, just walking down streets I haven't been. But being sober feels so much better.
My curiosity feels genuine, my head simple and clear.
It's such a better life sober.
I'm quickly writing this from a library I ducked into. So much else to say, but wanted to get it down.
It is the type of situation that I would usually take advantage of by getting a point, stuffing it in my jacket and wandering around drunk.
Instead I've walked the same streets sober. A bookstore, a coffee shop, just walking down streets I haven't been. But being sober feels so much better.
My curiosity feels genuine, my head simple and clear.
It's such a better life sober.
I'm quickly writing this from a library I ducked into. So much else to say, but wanted to get it down.
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I'm so glad you took the time to post, less. Those are wonderful thoughts. I can't believe I spent so many years thinking alcohol was enhancing my life & that I'd be so bored without it. I'm happy we don't live that way anymore. 
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Originally Posted by Prizefighter 
Hi there. Sounds quite amazing. Still in the first week of my sobriety so for me it's been a lot like hell. I keep on going to get that feeling you are describing. Keep on going. I know I'm not far behind.
Minor as it might be for a non-drunk, it was a real revelation.
And then later on a run home from the gym this Future Islands song came on and the lyrics hit me as so right for what I was feeling earlier today:
I wrestled by the sea
A loneliness in me
I asked myself for peace
And found it at my feet
"I asked myself for peace" - damn it, whether I knew it or not, I've been asking myself for that for so so long.
No one is coming to save me.
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
Originally Posted by lessgravity
Kind of a grandiose post title but it's how I feel right now. My wife is at a kids movie with my son and her niece right now. I saved $15 and my sanity by skipping it. So I was on my own, walking around the city, no obligations.
It is the type of situation that I would usually take advantage of by getting a point, stuffing it in my jacket and wandering around drunk.
Instead I've walked the same streets sober. A bookstore, a coffee shop, just walking down streets I haven't been. But being sober feels so much better.
My curiosity feels genuine, my head simple and clear.
It's such a better life sober.
I'm quickly writing this from a library I ducked into. So much else to say, but wanted to get it down.
It is the type of situation that I would usually take advantage of by getting a point, stuffing it in my jacket and wandering around drunk.
Instead I've walked the same streets sober. A bookstore, a coffee shop, just walking down streets I haven't been. But being sober feels so much better.
My curiosity feels genuine, my head simple and clear.
It's such a better life sober.
I'm quickly writing this from a library I ducked into. So much else to say, but wanted to get it down.
Actually - I don't find them grandiose. I really like your reflections on things. I'm doing quite a bit of that myself these days and can really relate to how some of this is like seeing the world with new, fresh eyes. That's exciting.
-B
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Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 10
Wow. I totally agree. Just reading those lyrics hit me hard too. It's crazy how something so simple when you aren't a booze hound goes overlooked. Like today, I did yard work as I always do, minus the drunk part. And of course, usually I would reward myself with an afterwards beer, as I know many, many people do. I found it extremely difficult to get over that reward beer. But I did it. I let the craving pass and got myself a cold soda instead. Part of me was pissed off at myself for not letting myself have that beer. The other part of me was proud that I passed it up. Relieved that I had the will power to pass it up.
Sometimes the realization that I will have to fight these urges the rest of my life was very real for me. But I gotta live, and I'm getting to the point where I'm finding some other things to do with my time that I neglected while I was drunk out of my mind. It feels good. I'm starting to feel a bit like myself again.
Stay string brother.
Sometimes the realization that I will have to fight these urges the rest of my life was very real for me. But I gotta live, and I'm getting to the point where I'm finding some other things to do with my time that I neglected while I was drunk out of my mind. It feels good. I'm starting to feel a bit like myself again.
Stay string brother.
Originally Posted by lessgravity
Keep focused Prize. It's funny that in a way sobriety may be a real gift. Non-drunks have lived their whole lives in afternoons like I had today without even appreciating it. I didn't feel like I was lying to anyone (including f--king self), there was no anxiety related to planning later drinks to keep my buzz strong - it was simple life in front of me.
Minor as it might be for a non-drunk, it was a real revelation.
And then later on a run home from the gym this Future Islands song came on and the lyrics hit me as so right for what I was feeling earlier today:
I wrestled by the sea
A loneliness in me
I asked myself for peace
And found it at my feet
"I asked myself for peace" - damn it, whether I knew it or not, I've been asking myself for that for so so long.
No one is coming to save me.
Minor as it might be for a non-drunk, it was a real revelation.
And then later on a run home from the gym this Future Islands song came on and the lyrics hit me as so right for what I was feeling earlier today:
I wrestled by the sea
A loneliness in me
I asked myself for peace
And found it at my feet
"I asked myself for peace" - damn it, whether I knew it or not, I've been asking myself for that for so so long.
No one is coming to save me.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Originally Posted by Buckley3
Just wanted to let you know that I really enjoy your threads - gradiose titles and all.
Actually - I don't find them grandiose. I really like your reflections on things. I'm doing quite a bit of that myself these days and can really relate to how some of this is like seeing the world with new, fresh eyes. That's exciting.
-B
Actually - I don't find them grandiose. I really like your reflections on things. I'm doing quite a bit of that myself these days and can really relate to how some of this is like seeing the world with new, fresh eyes. That's exciting.
-B
But being sober is revelatory. It just is to me.
I used to have a woman in my life who knew how much I drank and how I could then have to suffer the next day and push through with a high stress job and life etc, and then drink again and she used to say "I can't believe how strong you are to do this to yourself." We bang ourselves up so badly with the booze (or whatever it is for us) that to get to place where I can navigate a day sober and see the power and strength I actually might have??
We have to keep building on it. I'm not overly confident at all. I just know I gotta stay sober.
No one is coming to save me.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Originally Posted by Prizefighter
Wow. I totally agree. Just reading those lyrics hit me hard too. It's crazy how something so simple when you aren't a booze hound goes overlooked. Like today, I did yard work as I always do, minus the drunk part. And of course, usually I would reward myself with an afterwards beer, as I know many, many people do. I found it extremely difficult to get over that reward beer. But I did it. I let the craving pass and got myself a cold soda instead. Part of me was pissed off at myself for not letting myself have that beer. The other part of me was proud that I passed it up. Relieved that I had the will power to pass it up.
Sometimes the realization that I will have to fight these urges the rest of my life was very real for me. But I gotta live, and I'm getting to the point where I'm finding some other things to do with my time that I neglected while I was drunk out of my mind. It feels good. I'm starting to feel a bit like myself again.
Stay string brother.
Sometimes the realization that I will have to fight these urges the rest of my life was very real for me. But I gotta live, and I'm getting to the point where I'm finding some other things to do with my time that I neglected while I was drunk out of my mind. It feels good. I'm starting to feel a bit like myself again.
Stay string brother.
Have you looked into urge surfing? It's really valuable and I am really happy it's in my toolbox. https://www.google.com/search?q=urge...hrome&ie=UTF-8
Yard work, book stores, swimming in the ocean, taking my son to a matinee, watching UFC - all of it I thought was better if I could slug back a bunch of booze beforehand. So so so wrong. Life is not easy, it's pretty f--king hard in so many ways. But it feels good to be true to myself and confront the pain that comes with facing life sober.
No one is coming to save us.
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