Heaven and Hell Within
 

Heaven and Hell in my Brain, My Mind

Although some folks believe that heaven and hell come in the hereafter, I sense that they are right here in my brain and mind. For is it not written, “The kingdom of God is within you!” or, as the Greeks said, “Know [and beware of!] yourself.
When I was drinking, often relapsing, tormented with guilt and shame, was that not Hell? And now that I have been sober for nearly thirty years, is that not Heaven? But I still have an AV (“Addictive Voice”) and is that not the Demon within? It will never go away.
The first doctor I ever went to for alcoholism wisely said, “You are your own worst enemy”. The miracle is that you can save yourself, perhaps with the help of some force other than you. Some call it a “Higher Power”. I just sense that something, or someone is there. If it were not so then I would not be alive today.

W

I have the same sense, Bill.

Someone is there; someday, when we have all the pieces of the puzzle, the picture will be beautifully clear.

Your posts always inspire me, wpainterw. Thanks.

Great post WpainterW, Your wisdom always helps me .

The first doctor I ever went to for alcoholism wisely said, “You are your own worst enemy”. The miracle is that you can save yourself, perhaps with the help of some force other than you. Some call it a “Higher Power”. I just sense that something, or someone is there. If it were not so then I would not be alive today.

This is so powerful .

My view on the AV ( addictive voice) is that it is not a demon ( a demon in the sense of the devils work ) but rather a part of the addiction mechanism of the mind or a memory that can never be erased and occasionally rises to consciousness.

Thank you for this post again

wpainterw! Bro, can you plz introduce me to that dude?

Great post, Thank you!

Thank you all so much! Your responses make me so very, very happy! We have been through so much together and, as I have often felt and said, those with substance dependencies (I dislike other terms for it) are among the nicest, kindest people I have ever known. No doubt like me, you regret the past, feel shame, are depressed at times. But you make it all happier and now for some reason, perhaps because death may come for me in a few years, I am beginning to see more sunlight. Life has meaning. I sense that we have been sent to do something here and that is enough, leave it a little better when we go. Enough even if the so called "self" does not survive. After all, if nothing remains of us, there is no one, nothing, to suffer.

Thanks again.

Bill

Hope you know how wonderful you are, Bill.

Great post...and yes, it was hell, wasn't it?