Day 24 - man I am BUYING things
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
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Day 24 - man I am BUYING things
Have an app that tells me how much I am saving not spending it on booze. Which is great except I am spending it on other things.
Justifying re: being sober and not spending and getting really healthy. So buying food and books and ties for work.
There are certainly worse things.
Hope everyone's weekend is filled with health and peace.
No one is coming to save me.
Justifying re: being sober and not spending and getting really healthy. So buying food and books and ties for work.
There are certainly worse things.
Hope everyone's weekend is filled with health and peace.
No one is coming to save me.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Well, there's two sides to this.
1) when we stop spending money on alcohol we rediscover other things that we can spend it on.
2) if we don't work a recovery plan and just remove alcohol, often our addiction can come out sideways. Gambling, sex, shopping, eating, prescription drugs - all ways that this can happen.
Only you can say if you're doing that shopping compultivemply and looking for something out of it (a feel-good buzz) that is not that book or tie or whatever. Those things are not going to make us happy or bring any feeling of contentment that is lasting if we acting-out through them. We just get a little glow and when that fades we buy then next thing, get a glow and then next and the next and the next. Until the buying creates more problems than not solves. Sound familiar? Buying cannot satisfy a sober alcoholic without a program of recovery. We are naturally restless, irritable and discontent without working on ourselves.
You're pretty early in sobriety so perhaps you're working on your recovery and it's just taking a while to kick in. That'd be pretty normal.
I am always drawn to act out with shopping when I'm not working ny program properly. When I'm unsure if I'm shopping compulsively or not, I promise myself i can get it tomorrow and leave the item in my online shopping cart for then. Often I then forget I even wanted it in the first place or the allure of it has faded by the next day.
There is nothing wrong with buying books and ties. As long as you can afford them, and (more impirtantly if you're anything like me) that you understand that all you're gonna get out of them books and ties is books and ties. They re not a metaphorical hug, and there are other more effective methods of being loving to ourselves.
BB
1) when we stop spending money on alcohol we rediscover other things that we can spend it on.
2) if we don't work a recovery plan and just remove alcohol, often our addiction can come out sideways. Gambling, sex, shopping, eating, prescription drugs - all ways that this can happen.
Only you can say if you're doing that shopping compultivemply and looking for something out of it (a feel-good buzz) that is not that book or tie or whatever. Those things are not going to make us happy or bring any feeling of contentment that is lasting if we acting-out through them. We just get a little glow and when that fades we buy then next thing, get a glow and then next and the next and the next. Until the buying creates more problems than not solves. Sound familiar? Buying cannot satisfy a sober alcoholic without a program of recovery. We are naturally restless, irritable and discontent without working on ourselves.
You're pretty early in sobriety so perhaps you're working on your recovery and it's just taking a while to kick in. That'd be pretty normal.
I am always drawn to act out with shopping when I'm not working ny program properly. When I'm unsure if I'm shopping compulsively or not, I promise myself i can get it tomorrow and leave the item in my online shopping cart for then. Often I then forget I even wanted it in the first place or the allure of it has faded by the next day.
There is nothing wrong with buying books and ties. As long as you can afford them, and (more impirtantly if you're anything like me) that you understand that all you're gonna get out of them books and ties is books and ties. They re not a metaphorical hug, and there are other more effective methods of being loving to ourselves.
BB
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
lessgravity - by the way -No one is coming to save me. - Love that!
I spent a long time doing nothing but not drink. Months. I ate crap, I spent lots, I hid from the world playing silly games on my phone etc etc. I knew it wasn't necessarily helpful but I didn't care as long as I got my head on the pillow sober each night.
6 months later, not a lot achieved and 20 pounds heavier I got my butt in gear to do something about it. For me that involves actively working on improving my home, eating a healthy diet, exercising more and encouraging my girls to be more active and socialize.
I'd say at 24 days don't be too hard on yourself but recognise perhaps that addiction can take many forms. You are a work-in-progress and not picking up that first drink on a daily basis must be your number one priority.
Keep going!
I spent a long time doing nothing but not drink. Months. I ate crap, I spent lots, I hid from the world playing silly games on my phone etc etc. I knew it wasn't necessarily helpful but I didn't care as long as I got my head on the pillow sober each night.
6 months later, not a lot achieved and 20 pounds heavier I got my butt in gear to do something about it. For me that involves actively working on improving my home, eating a healthy diet, exercising more and encouraging my girls to be more active and socialize.
I'd say at 24 days don't be too hard on yourself but recognise perhaps that addiction can take many forms. You are a work-in-progress and not picking up that first drink on a daily basis must be your number one priority.
Keep going!
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 11
I decided to take a small portion of the money I would have spent on liquor ( I had expensive taste , UGH ) and get my nails done . Maybe every week / every other . Haven't really decided yet. But a small $ 30 on some ME time . Yesterday was my first sober Friday in a long time and I got my nails done. 
Berrybean brings up a good point . I am only on day 4 but I can see how easy it would be to replace one addiction with another .
Berrybean brings up a good point . I am only on day 4 but I can see how easy it would be to replace one addiction with another .
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Berry - all insightful points. I've never been a compulsive shopper, whether sober or drunk. But I will pay attention to the desire to buy these days, interesting that my addictive personality might be showing itself in that way.
I find that my AV, when I shut it down on alcohol, turns to getting in shape/embracing fitness. Up early at 6:15am every day, gym every day, keto diet, researching what exactly dopamine and insulin and medium chain tryglycerides are - and I do know I need to not let myself go too crazy that I can't maintain it, so that I fall off and return to "letting myself go", as my wife puts it.
Reinstating meditation, I'm a TM guy, is something that truly helps all of this.
Thank you everyone.
And thank you Joan - not sure where I saw "no one is coming to save me", but it's my mantra for sobriety this time around. Strikes a deep, and inspiring chord, with me.
No one is coming to save me.
I find that my AV, when I shut it down on alcohol, turns to getting in shape/embracing fitness. Up early at 6:15am every day, gym every day, keto diet, researching what exactly dopamine and insulin and medium chain tryglycerides are - and I do know I need to not let myself go too crazy that I can't maintain it, so that I fall off and return to "letting myself go", as my wife puts it.
Reinstating meditation, I'm a TM guy, is something that truly helps all of this.
Thank you everyone.
And thank you Joan - not sure where I saw "no one is coming to save me", but it's my mantra for sobriety this time around. Strikes a deep, and inspiring chord, with me.
No one is coming to save me.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by lessgravity 
Berry - all insightful points. I've never been a compulsive shopper, whether sober or drunk. But I will pay attention to the desire to buy these days, interesting that my addictive personality might be showing itself in that way...
BB
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Stop buying things! Why not buy a thing instead? This sudden windfall may seem like a gift. Some people adopt another form of 'addiction' - I'm not saying it is. But think of something you've wanted for a time, a bigger ticket item. Open a simple savings account, one with no access card, kind of like a personal xmas club account. Pick out something you really want and save for it. The reward of doing that will be better than just blowing the money on "trinkets" along the way. And who knows, by the time you have enough saved for that 'something', you may change your mind and go for something else, like a trip or whatever. And the feeling of saving for something may help with your discipline toward other things, a side benefit...
Just an idea to think about.
Just an idea to think about.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
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Originally Posted by daredevil
expensive ties and bookshelf-worthy books give me great satisfaction, and unlike the reprieve of booze, they're not fleeting. Money well spent I think.
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