Therapist is down on AA
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Oakland
Posts: 561
Therapist is down on AA
It's bumming me out. I'm looking for positive stuff and she's only got disdain. I get it. It's not for her anymore but why rain on my parade. It's not perfect but from what I can see it's folks coming together to share openly about their lives and support one another.
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,407
Do what you gotta do to keep sober. What doesn’t work for one person (for whatever reason) may work for another. I think people with good solid recovery would never put another program down but rather encourage another to try it and see if it works for them and be happy for them if it does.
I’m only concerned with what works for me and if different things work for others then that’s great.
I’m only concerned with what works for me and if different things work for others then that’s great.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 205
How long has your therapist been sober? What does she suggest you do instead of AA? I have worked as a therapist and would never discourage a patient from trying AA. Perhaps you need another therapist who is more open about trying whatever works.
You can always find an excuse to not seek help pressme. You know what the correct answer is in this situation. I'd suggest finding a different therapist frankly. If she's projecting her personal biases into your sessions it's not helpful not professional IMHO.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
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Hmm....I have a therapist who is entirely pro-AA, though she concedes definitively that it's not the "only way" - it's just the one she has seen work the most often. She's an addiction specialist. I wonder if yours is? Is there possibly emotional baggage on her end that she's projecting onto you? This seems to me (ie what I would decide to do) a situation to consider another therapist.
Whatever you need to do to keep sober - it sounds like you haven't really begun AA and learned what it is about (?) and your therapist is possibly (likely?) impacting that decision. I know I've read your other posts but apologize that I can't remember if you've brought up AA before.
Take care of you- figuring out what PLAN of action will get and keep you sober is the most important thing- the critical thing, I dare say.
Whatever you need to do to keep sober - it sounds like you haven't really begun AA and learned what it is about (?) and your therapist is possibly (likely?) impacting that decision. I know I've read your other posts but apologize that I can't remember if you've brought up AA before.
Take care of you- figuring out what PLAN of action will get and keep you sober is the most important thing- the critical thing, I dare say.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
I'm trying to picture this: So you are telling your therapist that you benefit from AA, that it is working for you. And she responds with disdain? Wow. If that's the case, new therapist.
The only time I've experienced a therapist telling me that AA isn't the only program, has it's down falls etc is when I started by questioning its efficacy. Basically opening up the dialogue to discuss other options. But never disdain, that is simply unprofessional.
The only time I've experienced a therapist telling me that AA isn't the only program, has it's down falls etc is when I started by questioning its efficacy. Basically opening up the dialogue to discuss other options. But never disdain, that is simply unprofessional.
I would find another therapist.
They have their own personal baggage, but she is out of line IMO and I don't even go to AA.
It's kind of hit or miss with therapists. I agree with August, find one who is an addiction specialist. Keep looking for one you click with, otherwise it's a waste of time and money.
They have their own personal baggage, but she is out of line IMO and I don't even go to AA.
It's kind of hit or miss with therapists. I agree with August, find one who is an addiction specialist. Keep looking for one you click with, otherwise it's a waste of time and money.
umm,yeah, that seems rather strange and read a LOT like the therapist bringing her own misgivings into it.
i dont know how long youve been seeing this therapist, but if someone is working ANY program of recovery,its helping, and a therapist shows distaste for it, thats a red flag there. beings how she said its not for her any more is another red flag- dont know why, but because it aint for her doesnt mean it isnt for others and as a therapist...welp...sure seems a therapist should be encouraging participation in ANY recovery program.
i dont know how long youve been seeing this therapist, but if someone is working ANY program of recovery,its helping, and a therapist shows distaste for it, thats a red flag there. beings how she said its not for her any more is another red flag- dont know why, but because it aint for her doesnt mean it isnt for others and as a therapist...welp...sure seems a therapist should be encouraging participation in ANY recovery program.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
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May I pop in here and ask you in US a question ?
When you talk about going to a therapist do you mean private therapist and what kind of fees are involved ?
Sorry for my ignorance .
I went to a therapist once through our NHS (drink and drugs) and he left me trembling , needles to say I only had one visit .
When you talk about going to a therapist do you mean private therapist and what kind of fees are involved ?
Sorry for my ignorance .
I went to a therapist once through our NHS (drink and drugs) and he left me trembling , needles to say I only had one visit .
With private healthcare, it can be anyone with a license, hpdw. Some of those licenses are just a two year program. If you're paying out of pocket buyer beware: anyone can call themselves a therapist. So many varying levels of "expertise."
Psychologists and psychiatrists are formally schooled and trained. A psychiatrist is a doctor who can prescribe medication. Fees vary. 25-30 years ago when I was searching it was from $100 to $400 an hour, depending. I can't even imagine the fees now.
So...it's a mine-field, basically. I've gone to a few really sketchy "therapists." One guy was at his apartment, and his "qualifications" were that he was a recovered alcoholic in AA and had read some books. I also went to one psychiatrist who I felt was pretty quacky, and she was a Board Certified Psychiatrist.
Like anything, discernment is the most important thing the patient can bring to an appointment - and maybe an internet search of their certifications.
Psychologists and psychiatrists are formally schooled and trained. A psychiatrist is a doctor who can prescribe medication. Fees vary. 25-30 years ago when I was searching it was from $100 to $400 an hour, depending. I can't even imagine the fees now.
So...it's a mine-field, basically. I've gone to a few really sketchy "therapists." One guy was at his apartment, and his "qualifications" were that he was a recovered alcoholic in AA and had read some books. I also went to one psychiatrist who I felt was pretty quacky, and she was a Board Certified Psychiatrist.
Like anything, discernment is the most important thing the patient can bring to an appointment - and maybe an internet search of their certifications.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
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May I pop in here and ask you in US a question ?
When you talk about going to a therapist do you mean private therapist and what kind of fees are involved ?
Sorry for my ignorance .
I went to a therapist once through our NHS (drink and drugs) and he left me trembling , needles to say I only had one visit .
When you talk about going to a therapist do you mean private therapist and what kind of fees are involved ?
Sorry for my ignorance .
I went to a therapist once through our NHS (drink and drugs) and he left me trembling , needles to say I only had one visit .
Here, typically a psychiatrist can/will prescribe meds beyond, say, anti-depressants and are the ones to use for medicine management. I, for example, take 5 drugs under my psych's guidance (I am just past 2 yr sober and my regimen works well and we have tweaked as necessary). My psych DOES do talk therapy as well but not all do. Additionally, IMO and IME, a GP is not a specialist in alcoholism nor addiction nor any of the significant drugs out there for us - and a responsible one refers you to someone who is.
Alternately, someone might see a physchologist (gen for the talk part) and only do a "med check" type visit to a psychiatrist. Sometimes (more often) you can access a pyschologist more easliy through your insurance.
There are also places like group therapy counseling centers or sliding scale fee (based on income) therapy/counseling in some areas.
Lastly - my insurance DOES cover my drugs at a $0 copay and I am very grateful for that as when I have not had insurance and paid out of pocket my drugs ran about $1K a month.
I also see a psychiatrist for medication monitoring (who was a huge reason for my sobriety) and an individual therapist for working through some of the psychodynamic issues that kept me drinking/using and screwing up my life in general.
I had five criteria when looking for a therapist. Psychodynamic focus, male, gay, experience with addiction and takes insurance. I was VERY lucky to have found someone that hit all five. He has been in recovery himself (sex and drug addiction, which was tied up with drug use), and we use 4th Step principles in our work.
If you feel she is useful in some areas other than this one, I would suggest that you express that 12 Step is useful for you, tell her how you feel about her "disdain" and see what she has to say about it. You have nothing to lose, and might get some valuable insights from the discussion. If she truly continues to express her "disdain" for AA (or any other sobriety program that you might be working) after you have explained how it is helping you, then I'd suggest getting a new therapist. There are tons of bad ones out there.
I had five criteria when looking for a therapist. Psychodynamic focus, male, gay, experience with addiction and takes insurance. I was VERY lucky to have found someone that hit all five. He has been in recovery himself (sex and drug addiction, which was tied up with drug use), and we use 4th Step principles in our work.
If you feel she is useful in some areas other than this one, I would suggest that you express that 12 Step is useful for you, tell her how you feel about her "disdain" and see what she has to say about it. You have nothing to lose, and might get some valuable insights from the discussion. If she truly continues to express her "disdain" for AA (or any other sobriety program that you might be working) after you have explained how it is helping you, then I'd suggest getting a new therapist. There are tons of bad ones out there.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Once had a psychiatrist who tried to impose her family values on me. Kept criticizing the way I was dealing with some of my family. Pretty much said without saying it that I was a terrible person. She ended up dumping me as a patient which was for the best. Guess I didn't meet her high standards.
I also suggest you find a therapist that's a better fit for you. John
I also suggest you find a therapist that's a better fit for you. John
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