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Old 03-02-2018, 05:23 AM   #1 (permalink)
Hears The Voice
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
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Anxiety and Agitation are Welcome Here

I used to get a little anxiety; a little agitation. Just a little. I wouldn't get much of either because I would resist them. I would sense them and then I would immediately do whatever I needed to do to hide from them, cover them up, drown them out. They seemed unpleasant. I didn't like feeling unpleasant. It was uncomfortable. It was scary. Something was wrong. Drinking could fix that. I would feel better. Now everything was all right.

Not even close.

After the drinking the things that were creating the anxiety and agitation were still there, but now I also had shame, guilt, busted relationships, less money, more pain.

Maybe there is another way?

I had to stop drinking. Mrs Nons put me to the choice - find another way or find another place to live. The worst part was the look on her face when she said it. She hated saying it more than I hated hearing it. Look what avoiding my anxiety and agitation had done for me. It hurt my favorite person.

I learned how to sit with my anxiety and agitation. They didn't magically disappear, but you know what? They aren't so scary. I don't enjoy the way they make me feel, but I can handle it. I can work through it. And do you know what I find on the other side of my anxiety and agitation?

Joy and Fulfillment.

All those years I spent chasing a high were an amateur's approach to life. I thought I was making things better, but all I was doing was depriving myself of the ultimate experiences life has to offer. Only a fool trades his joy for pleasure. I'm done being foolish.

Anxiety and agitation aren't a prison for me. They are a gateway. Bring them on, they are welcome here.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.
You will never possess what you choose not to pursue.
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Old 03-02-2018, 06:44 AM   #2 (permalink)

Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 319
Great post! I drank to help me deal with life and its problems.. 3+ months into not drinking and I realize how stupid that was. I had major cracks that were starting to show towards the end, and I could feel things slowly unraveling. I feel so much better now, and a lot more confident to handle the things I was trying to numb myself from.
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