Day 18 - It was a tough one. - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 03-01-2018, 04:41 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Day 18 - It was a tough one.


Today hasn’t been a good day, I was having some mild pain in my chest again and was finding it really hard to stay calm and keep my cool. I pretty much felt like I did during my first week of sobriety.

I called the addictions department at my local hospital looking for help weeks ago. They said they’d phone back with an appointment, they never did. I phoned again, they said they’d call back. Obviously they never did. I phone again this week, they told me to call back by Wednesday if I hadn’t heard from them. Needless to say I phoned back Wednesday and was finally able to make an appointment with the nurse for March 20th! So still 3 weeks away. I’m beginning to wonder if they’re hoping ill just die before they have to bother with another druggie?

I really have no one else to talk to or no one to turn to for help. I’m just so frustrated and pissed off today, even the people who’re paid to care don’t even seem to give a rats ass if I live or die. Really? What is the point of staying sober? Sorry for the rage-fest, I’m really struggling to find reasons not to go to the LC, get a bottle and then source some blow.
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Old 03-01-2018, 04:52 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I really have no one else to talk to or no one to turn to for help. I’m just so frustrated and pissed off today, even the people who’re paid to care don’t even seem to give a rats ass if I live or die. Really? What is the point of staying sober?
The point is - you really need to do it for yourself

I was dying slowly in my drinking life. In my sober life I've never felt more alive - but I had to build that sober life, and that took a little time and patience.

I have a warm and loving circle of friends again too - I'd pushed them all way in my love affair with the booze.

It's goign to take longer than 18 days to sort all that out Pete - but I believe you will

Don't do this for the 'attaboys' - although you'll find those here, they'll probably be in shorter supply than you'd like in 'real' life.

I don't think I'd assume the clinic doesn't care if you live or die..I 'd say it's much more likely their overun with patients, maybe?

I'm glad you persisted tho. I'd also get those chest pain looked at - might be anxiety sure but it'd be good to know that for sure.

Do it for yourself, Pete- cos you're worth the effort

D
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Old 03-01-2018, 04:57 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Don’t get me wrong, I don’t expect all the help in the world to be handed to me on a silver platter. But I never expected it would be such a long, painful process. So far seeking help has only made me more likely to drink.
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Old 03-01-2018, 05:10 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I get it

I think a lot of us get used to immediate gratification Pete - thats what our kind of drinking essentially is.

Sober, I had to learn that a lot of things take time and effort..and patience.

If delays are making you want to drink - there's not a lot you can do about delays - they're out of your control - but you can change your reactions to things.

Kinda sounds like you're pinning all your hopes on this appointment - I'm sure they''ll help but I'm not sure you have hold your breath waiting for them.

Apart from posting here, what else are you doing for your recovery while you wait?

D
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Old 03-01-2018, 05:26 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I’ve been going to the gym everyday, trying to eat healthier, taking online courses, cleaning the hell out my apartment and generally trying to take better care of myself. Sorry for the rant, I’m just annoyed that when I do try to get help, they kept screwing me around by constantly saying they would contact me, and just kept on not doing so. When I do finally back them into a corner, they tell me it’s another 3 weeks. I was worried I might die of old age before they see me. It’s my own stupid fault, I should have just gone private.
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Old 03-01-2018, 06:41 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Pete, way to go with 18 days! It sounds like you're taking positive steps to reinforce sobriety, but some days just aren't that great. Maybe treat yourself to something (NOT liquor and blow), take it easy and revisit the counseling situation later? A lot can be accomplished in that three week waiting period.
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Old 03-01-2018, 06:48 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Great job Pete. Keep it up. This is the perfect place to vent. Do it anytime you need to.
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