A quick reflection on fear - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 03-01-2018, 06:40 AM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
JayTee33's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 303
Blog Entries: 18

A quick reflection on fear


Fear has ruled me for a lot of my life, and has played a big role in my drinking. I'd drink to dull my fear of social situations, to calm myself down before a big work presentation (ugh!), even before job interviews. I shudder just thinking about it.

So now that I'm 7 days in to my commitment to stop, I've been doing a lot of reading about working through negative thoughts and fear, and I've been trying to apply what I'm learning. Baby steps, but a few things over the last few days:

-I was feeling stressed yesterday morning. Oftentimes when I got that knot of anxiety in the pit of my stomach in the past, I'd reach for a bottle. Yesterday I told myself to do something constructive. I wanted to go to the pool to swim but a bunch of reservations jumped in my head - I'll look stupid in my swimsuit, there will be too many people, I'll get anxious in a crowd, etc. Well, I tried my best to dismiss those thoughts, and to look at the benefits - I'll feel much better about myself if I go, and I'll let off some steam physically. I went, and I was so glad I did. It was great, and the people there made me feel silly for having reservations - people of all ages, all shapes and sizes, all abilities, just there enjoying. It was actually nice to be among people having a good time, rather than curled up in bed at home by myself.

-I've distanced myself from one of my best friends for a few months now, largely because I was so sunk in my own miserable brain. When I made the decision to commit to recovery a week ago, I knew it would do me good to reconnect with her, to have her as part of my supports. But I've been avoiding it - fearing the worst of course. I worked myself up into thinking she'd hate me for what I'd done in the past, for distancing myself from her, for my weakness. Finally I sucked it up yesterday and reached out to her, and she was so kind and supportive. We're getting together tomorrow. What a relief, and I know she'll be such a powerful ally in this.

These are of course baby steps..I have way bigger fear demons to slay in my life, but I feel encouraged by these two little things. Just thought I'd share how challenging fear has helped me over the last few days.

Thanks, JT
JayTee33 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to JayTee33 For This Useful Post:
2ndhandrose (03-01-2018), Anna (03-01-2018), Buckley3 (03-01-2018), Dee74 (03-01-2018), Gilmer (03-01-2018), lessgravity (03-01-2018), Raeven (03-01-2018), Rar (03-01-2018), rascalwhiteoak (03-01-2018), saoutchik (03-01-2018), Tonymblue (03-01-2018), WeaverBird (03-01-2018)
Old 03-01-2018, 07:32 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
thomas11's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 7,833
THey may be baby steps, but they are steps in the right direction. Alcohol breaks us down in every way. Our self esteem suffers, our confidence, even our rational thinking suffers as a result of alcohol abuse. Its a terrible drug. The beauty of the whole thing is that everything can return to normal in a life of sobriety. I didn't think that was possible, but I found that it is. Good job on the early days and keep posting.
thomas11 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to thomas11 For This Useful Post:
2ndhandrose (03-01-2018), Dee74 (03-01-2018), lessgravity (03-01-2018), Rar (03-01-2018), warrens (03-01-2018), WeaverBird (03-01-2018)
Old 03-01-2018, 01:05 PM   #3 (permalink)
saoutchik
 
saoutchik's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 11,204
Good job on 7 days JayTee!

Alcohol is a liar. It says social situations are too scary to deal with without it. In reality of course the worse they can really be is tedious and oftentimes they can be more enjoyable than we were expected. In contrast, the most common way to turn a social event into a humiliation is to consume lots if alcohol.

I'm glad you enjoyed swimming and that your friend was so positive. It sounds like a good start.
saoutchik is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to saoutchik For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (03-01-2018), lessgravity (03-01-2018), warrens (03-01-2018), WeaverBird (03-01-2018)
Old 03-01-2018, 01:31 PM   #4 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 51,263
JayTee, good for you for taking steps to begin to change things. Fear and anxiety ruled my life, too and I didn't even realize the extent of it, until I stopped drinking. I still experience anxiety, but it's manageable now.
__________________
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Marianne Williamson
Anna is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Anna For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (03-01-2018), warrens (03-01-2018), WeaverBird (03-01-2018)
Old 03-01-2018, 01:37 PM   #5 (permalink)
Keep Going
 
WeaverBird's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: England
Posts: 1,524
Well done!!!
Fear's a funny old thing. Shows we've got a rich imagination I suppose.
But I don't think reality ever once turned out like the fear said it would. And then of course the alcohol multiplied fears until I ended up doing less and less and less. Keep going
__________________
“All shall be well. For there is a force of love moving through the universe that holds us fast and will never let us go.” Julian of Norwich
WeaverBird is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to WeaverBird For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (03-01-2018)
Old 03-01-2018, 01:39 PM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
JayTee33's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 303
Blog Entries: 18
Thanks to you all! I'm off to my first Smart Recovery meeting...going into a group setting with a bunch of strangers is exactly the type of social occasion that triggers my nerves, but I'm doing my best not to get too worked up and see the positive. Wish me luck!
JayTee33 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to JayTee33 For This Useful Post:
Buckley3 (03-01-2018), Dee74 (03-01-2018), Rar (03-01-2018)
Old 03-01-2018, 02:40 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 566
Nice! 1 Week!
Buckley3 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Buckley3 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (03-01-2018)
Old 03-01-2018, 03:00 PM   #8 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 175,187
Blog Entries: 1
Baby steps are still steps JayTee. Hope you enjoy the SMART meeting. Well done on your week

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Rar (03-01-2018)
Old 03-01-2018, 03:36 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
Raeven's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: virginia
Posts: 116
Hang in there JT, good luck with your meeting. We are on parallel paths. Positive thoughts for you!
Raeven is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-01-2018, 05:19 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
JayTee33's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 303
Blog Entries: 18
Thanks to you all again. Just got back from the meeting - though I was initially really nervous about it, it was a really positive experience. It was very helpful to be in a room full of people from all walks of life who were working through the same issues and could empathize with how I felt. Got my hands on some tools to help fight urges, will be looking through them over the next day or two.
JayTee33 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:20 AM.