Passive Aggressive Sponsor
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
The sponsors get some bad press at times don't they? And maybe it is their fault for leaving it up to you to pick one out for yourself. How good was your judgement back then?
I smile when I hear someone say they are looking for someone they relate to. I was quite mad when I came in and I related best to other mad people. Perhaps they were not the best sponsor material.
In my sponsor I sought someone who could explain the program and what I had to do in a way that I could understand. I socialised with the mad folks, but got my recovery from someone who had recovered.
But inspite of all their faults, it seems to be the sponsors that stay sober. That is not just observation, or years of AA experience, it is also backed up by research.
I smile when I hear someone say they are looking for someone they relate to. I was quite mad when I came in and I related best to other mad people. Perhaps they were not the best sponsor material.
In my sponsor I sought someone who could explain the program and what I had to do in a way that I could understand. I socialised with the mad folks, but got my recovery from someone who had recovered.
But inspite of all their faults, it seems to be the sponsors that stay sober. That is not just observation, or years of AA experience, it is also backed up by research.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 419
Hey SR!
Thanks for all of the input. I heard from my sponsor and apparently he had to take his sponsee to get his drunk box removed from his jeep and wasn't feeling well and went home. I completely understand but can't help to feel a little dissapointed that he didn't at least contact me. I felt like something was amiss but have decided to give the resentment to my Higher Power and move on. I have to remember that my expectations are inversely proportional to my serenity and that my acceptance is directly proportional to my serenity. If i keep my expectations as low as possible and my acceptance of situations at a max then my serenity should be ideal.
It was funny i was speaking with my girlfriend last night and we were talking about expectations. I know as alcoholics we get hung up on expectations but its easy to expect certain things from people you depend on. If my girlfriend had forgotten an important day then i might be really bummed. ; ) Ok i'm whining. I definately think i have learned something through all this and the most IMPORTANT part i didn't drink over it.
I have decided to look for another sponsor. I really appreciate him spending the time to help me through the 12 steps but deep down i don't feel like it's a perfect match. I need someone a little more direct and communicative.
Thanks!
Garrison
Thanks for all of the input. I heard from my sponsor and apparently he had to take his sponsee to get his drunk box removed from his jeep and wasn't feeling well and went home. I completely understand but can't help to feel a little dissapointed that he didn't at least contact me. I felt like something was amiss but have decided to give the resentment to my Higher Power and move on. I have to remember that my expectations are inversely proportional to my serenity and that my acceptance is directly proportional to my serenity. If i keep my expectations as low as possible and my acceptance of situations at a max then my serenity should be ideal.
It was funny i was speaking with my girlfriend last night and we were talking about expectations. I know as alcoholics we get hung up on expectations but its easy to expect certain things from people you depend on. If my girlfriend had forgotten an important day then i might be really bummed. ; ) Ok i'm whining. I definately think i have learned something through all this and the most IMPORTANT part i didn't drink over it.
I have decided to look for another sponsor. I really appreciate him spending the time to help me through the 12 steps but deep down i don't feel like it's a perfect match. I need someone a little more direct and communicative.
Thanks!
Garrison
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