Raeven

Not my first time, but really working on making it the last. Longest is just more than 30 days and I start feeling like I can just go back to the w way it was when I could enjoy a glass of week wine an and not finish the bottle. Started during my divorce. My ex told me he was going to destroy me, that he'd had nothing and now I would know what that was like. He almost succeeded. Still paying off the lawyer, his settlement. Because I was working, owned a house, had a retirement savings and he wasn't working, he got support and a part of my house. Still paying him, 3 years in. He had better lawyer paid by his Dad. I have almost no retirement money left, but I paid off the IRS last fall, amazing how much more married filing separate is when the other person didn't work. I tried to bribe him with the refund to file joint, but no...my mortgage would have been paid off by now if I hadn't had to refi to keep the house.
Fast forward, Need to get healthy, learn to trust, and protect myself. In a better place than last time I tried to quit.
Still trouble sleeping. Miss my ritual of wine, enjoyed the first glass forgot the rest of the bottle. Took a few bad falls in the last 6 months. Luckily I didn't remember, just woke up in n my bed with bruises, broken toe, concussion, bloody face... yes, not easy to explain but I'm really good with make-up. Kept saying hi need to stop.
Not sure why this is different, but I am having surgery in about 6 weeks, 2nd hip replacement. Feel I need to be clean for that.
Question: since I miss my wine, I've been drinking OceanSpray Cran-Grape in my wine glass, just to remember the feel. Actually drinking slower than if it were wine and enjoying out more (it is the diet and 1/3 water so I'm not replacing sugar). Is that foolish? I really like it on the deck with my fire pit to warm the night.

Thank you

JayTee33

Hi Raeven and congrats on 6 days! I'm on 6 days too, let's continue to support one another. I can emphathize on the falls that you don't really remember til waking the next day. Took a bad spill on some ice last week on the day that led me to finally say "okay, no more of this!". I woke up with a bad gash on my leg which I didn't really remember getting.

Onwards to better things! Best of luck!

bexxed

I put replacements in wine glasses, and still do, a year and a half in. I don’t think of them as replacements actually, it’s a beverage. It worked for me.

Congrats on 6 days. Make a plan, keep it, check in.

Happy day to you

B

Rowlands1

Six days & god I'm struggling awfully.

I'm so bloody angry & moody.... unhappy & in all honesty desperate for a drink ...

I'm hanging in there simply by a thread.. knowing I can't let myself down or my husband & two beautiful kids...

Please tell me this will get easier...

Oh & ive gained 4 pounds from the amount of chocolate I've been consuming in the evening


Apologies For The Moan

biminiblue

Raeven, have you done any research on bone loss caused by alcoholism? It's pretty scary. Does your surgeon know how much you drink/drank?

Please stay quit now before you get any more damage to your one precious body.

JayTee33

Rowlands, from a fellow 6-day'er, keep up the great work, and I totally understand how HARD it is at this early point. Like you, my husband and two kids' wellbeing and my own wellbeing are my main motivators at this point. You can do it! My tip for today - get out and do something to change your mindset if you can. I know it's not always easy - if you had asked me to leave the house and go do something in public a few weeks ago I would have curled up and put my head under the pillow. But I forced myself to go to the local pool this morning for a swim, even though I was feeling anxious and didn't really want to leave the house. It really helped. Take care.

(Sorry to hijack the post a bit Raeven!)

Rowlands1

Thank you Jaytee,
I'm still trying to figure out where I can post properly on this site !
I've been out most of the day ..I look after dogs so luckily I'm out & about in the fresh air walking.
I get so damn crochety by 4pm ..kids are home from school & my old routine was pour a glass of wine while cooking dinner.
I sure I can do this ...like your self...just which I had more patience & less irritability
...

JayTee33

Hi Rowlands, I hear you. For me it's my nerves and anxiety that are a problem that seems so much more pronounced right now, since I'm not drinking to keep it dulled. It can make for hard days. Yes, we can do it, and I'm sure it will get better as time passes.

Raeven

you're fine. Encouragement is always good,

Hevyn

Raeven - I'm sorry for all the unfair things that have happened to you. We're better off clear-headed & coherent. I remember thinking alcohol was helping me to cope - it was just the opposite. Congrats on your 6 days of sobriety. Be proud.

Raeven

he doesn't, I have serious Osteoarthritis, and the hips are the next in line to look like chew toys but I'm taking serious Calcium and D. Thanks for the tip, I will look into the risks

Raeven

Thank you Hevyn, you are the first one to call it unfair. I appreciate that.

Raeven

Thank you all. I don't think I ever listed out how it started, and as you probably know, this is just the tip, but it helped, been thinking. I have a lot of reasons to stay sober. Not the least of which is to not let that "ma win" win by destroying me, which was one of his stated goals. He never physically abused me, that might have been easier. He was afraid of me, admitted it. I was a firearms and personal defense instructor. :-) So, I need to do this for me, but also to keep him from winning. We have no contact except he cashes my checks, so he doesn't know but...I am a believer in Karma.

Thank you all!!

Dee74

Congrats on 6 days Raeven - hope tomorrow is better for you

D

Raeven

Thanks Dee

Hevyn

I hope it's been a good day, Raeven. Thinking of you.

Komplex

Stay strong raeven!