Need positive reasons to stay sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Oakland
Posts: 561
Need positive reasons to stay sober
I forget about the negatives. Yeah, I don't wanna lose custody or be puking in public bathrooms or whatever other gross and tragic ****. I need positive reasons. Right now I'm sober (yay) but bored. Meetings are boring and flat. My sponsor tells me to grow up and be responsible. All good but I wanna get up and be excited about this ****. I need to hear about this thrilling sunshine of the spirit stuff..
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Hi Press
lemme see... not drinking...
I could go on all day but thats a good start anyway
You can do this Press - keep heading in the right direction
D
lemme see... not drinking...
- gave me back my enjoyment in life
- gave me back my dignity
- took away the dark depressing cynicism the low self esteem and the feelings of self loathing that drinking gave me
- lessened my depression & anxiety to manageable levels.
- gave me things to hope and aim for in future
- made me feel productive and useful again.
- Made me realise I was worthy of love - and helped me be in the right frame of mind to find it.
- fattened up my back balance no end
- made me look about ten years younger
- improved my health
- improved every one of my relationships be they family friends or loves...
I could go on all day but thats a good start anyway
You can do this Press - keep heading in the right direction
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
What about those promises?
If you're finding your meetings boring and flat it's probably time to get out there and try some new ones. There's one meeting near me that they've names a Gratitude Meeting. They have a main share to start things rolling with the focus on things we're grateful for. It's pretty uplifting.
Writing a Gratitude list for ourselves is also powerful and could be a good daily exercise. As can helping someone else who is struggling. Are there some newcomers at your meetings you could be calling to encourage. When we work with newcomers we are reminded just what we have escaped, and how much better things are getting. I don't mean sponsoring them. Just calling and asking how they are.
BB
If you're finding your meetings boring and flat it's probably time to get out there and try some new ones. There's one meeting near me that they've names a Gratitude Meeting. They have a main share to start things rolling with the focus on things we're grateful for. It's pretty uplifting.
Writing a Gratitude list for ourselves is also powerful and could be a good daily exercise. As can helping someone else who is struggling. Are there some newcomers at your meetings you could be calling to encourage. When we work with newcomers we are reminded just what we have escaped, and how much better things are getting. I don't mean sponsoring them. Just calling and asking how they are.
BB
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
I suggest service work. It sounded counterintuitive when it was suggested to me in early sobriety, but eight years in I can tell you it made a huge difference for me.
My sponsor got me involved with one of the club committees where our meetings were held, I got involved in a group that took a meeting into the local hospital detox ward, and I later took a service position in my home group.
In learning to give back (which sounded an awful lot like work and was therefore suspect) I began to see my sobriety as something that brought good to the world. Nothing huge, but laying my head down at the end of a day knowing that I made a small improvement in the universe shifted how I saw my sobriety and myself.
Today I see true gratitude as a verb not a noun. If you are truly grateful to be sober, it shouldn't be that difficult to find a way to serve. And it need not be in AA necessarily - if hospice, the local animal shelter or some other worthy cause are near and dear to your heart, serve there. But serve - it will get you out of your head and pay back in ways you probably can't imagine. Don't hear the "sunshine of the spirit" stuff - live it!
Good luck, keep us posted!
My sponsor got me involved with one of the club committees where our meetings were held, I got involved in a group that took a meeting into the local hospital detox ward, and I later took a service position in my home group.
In learning to give back (which sounded an awful lot like work and was therefore suspect) I began to see my sobriety as something that brought good to the world. Nothing huge, but laying my head down at the end of a day knowing that I made a small improvement in the universe shifted how I saw my sobriety and myself.
Today I see true gratitude as a verb not a noun. If you are truly grateful to be sober, it shouldn't be that difficult to find a way to serve. And it need not be in AA necessarily - if hospice, the local animal shelter or some other worthy cause are near and dear to your heart, serve there. But serve - it will get you out of your head and pay back in ways you probably can't imagine. Don't hear the "sunshine of the spirit" stuff - live it!
Good luck, keep us posted!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Well the truth is, when your addicted mind wants to get drunk, it’ll spend a lot of time whispering to you about how boring and terrible everything is.
So, what I found was that I had to purposely look for the positive.
Some days, I had to force myself to see at least One Good Thing.
One Good Thing led to another.
Nowadays, I can see no negative to sobriety. Only positive.
From my finances to my relationships to my job to my family to my daily life to my glowing joyous sunshine of the spirit ****.
It’s positive beyond what I’d ever imagined.
Even on bad days.
So get yourself to CHOOSING to see it. Every day.
I promise you there’s at least equal amounts of positive all aroUnd you all the time as there is negative. What you see is up to you.
So, what I found was that I had to purposely look for the positive.
Some days, I had to force myself to see at least One Good Thing.
One Good Thing led to another.
Nowadays, I can see no negative to sobriety. Only positive.
From my finances to my relationships to my job to my family to my daily life to my glowing joyous sunshine of the spirit ****.
It’s positive beyond what I’d ever imagined.
Even on bad days.
So get yourself to CHOOSING to see it. Every day.
I promise you there’s at least equal amounts of positive all aroUnd you all the time as there is negative. What you see is up to you.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Our book says "if you have decided you want what we have, and are willing to go to any lengths to get it....." That right there is the reason. Of course it always asummes that you know or can see what we have. I found people in AA in whom it looked very attractive, and also a few that had nothing I wanted. Once I had figured out what it was, and that I wanted it, I was ready to begin.
That meant taking certain steps. Through the steps all was revealed.
Gratitude is a cool thing, of we have come far enough to see anything to be grateful for. You know, I often see someone talk in a meeting about how grateful they are, then leave without helping in any way, leaving the cup on the floor for someone else to clean up, not putting anything in the 7 tradition. How grateful are they really?
To me gratitude is an action. I show gratitude by helping out, by helping carry the message to the next guy. I pay my debt.
That meant taking certain steps. Through the steps all was revealed.
Gratitude is a cool thing, of we have come far enough to see anything to be grateful for. You know, I often see someone talk in a meeting about how grateful they are, then leave without helping in any way, leaving the cup on the floor for someone else to clean up, not putting anything in the 7 tradition. How grateful are they really?
To me gratitude is an action. I show gratitude by helping out, by helping carry the message to the next guy. I pay my debt.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 327
Everyone has provided great benefits of quitting drinking, but you have to want them and believe in them.
Stopping drinking is the first step. The next is to work on the new you. The one who doesn't drink, and has a life without alcohol.
What are you doing to fill in the time when you would normally drink?
Stopping drinking is the first step. The next is to work on the new you. The one who doesn't drink, and has a life without alcohol.
What are you doing to fill in the time when you would normally drink?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 312
For me the sense of pride I get is a huge incentive, vs. the sense of having let myself and others down. And the real smile on my husband's face at the end of the day, knowing he is proud of me too, instead of the look of concern in his eyes.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
im glad youre going to meetings,press. thats good. however, going to meetings doestn treat alcoholism. its working the steps. IF your sponsor isnt pointing you to that, you may want to bring that up.
some of the promises of the program that have occured:
I would enter upon a new relationship with my Creator, that I would have the elements of a way of living which answered all my problems.
The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous
there has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking.
Even so has God restored us all to our right minds
we start to straighten out mentally and physically.
does He enable us to match calamity with serenity
We can be alone at perfect peace and ease
Our fears fall from us
The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly
Life will take on new meaning.
the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God's hands were better than anything we could have planned
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
some of the promises of the program that have occured:
I would enter upon a new relationship with my Creator, that I would have the elements of a way of living which answered all my problems.
The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous
there has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking.
Even so has God restored us all to our right minds
we start to straighten out mentally and physically.
does He enable us to match calamity with serenity
We can be alone at perfect peace and ease
Our fears fall from us
The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly
Life will take on new meaning.
the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God's hands were better than anything we could have planned
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 634
Right now, at this moment I'm just glad I'm free of alcohol.
I'm just back from a meet up with friends I made on a therapy course. They asked if I'm still off the wine - yes. They asked if I'll ever go back to it, maybe drink sociably - what's the point in that?
I now feel free of it. I don't look at people drinking thinking I wish I could. My natural reaction now is "what's the point" and for that I am truly grateful.
I'm just back from a meet up with friends I made on a therapy course. They asked if I'm still off the wine - yes. They asked if I'll ever go back to it, maybe drink sociably - what's the point in that?
I now feel free of it. I don't look at people drinking thinking I wish I could. My natural reaction now is "what's the point" and for that I am truly grateful.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
There are no guarantees in life. You often hear, "Life is what you make it." Now that sounds silly doesn't it. I've seen documentaries on 'happiness' and did some reading on it. There are people on this earth who have very little yet are some of the happiest people in the world. It's a mindset maybe, who knows?
Have you heard or read about people who won the lottery (huge money lottery), then five years later are broke and destitute? I've been around very rich people who are not happy - it opened my eyes. Yet there are people earning just above the poverty rate who have a solid plan in place, living within their means, and are enjoying life and find themselves with a LOT and have no financial worries ever. They have a PLAN and they stick to it.
So, what are the positives to getting sober? If you want it written out with a guarantee, nobody is going to do that for you. You are going to have to just trust that all of the people who have gotten sober after many years and who say how much their life has improved aren't lying.
Aside from all of the positives and encouragement others have shared here, I'd like to add one more thing. You can add it to the end of the list that Dee provided. A BIG positive to getting sober is that you no longer have the negatives of being a drunk. Make your list of negatives then realize how much your life will be better just by removing those alone.
Make a PLAN and STICK to it. There are many resources here and other places that can help you. If you attend meetings, listen to what the people tell you. You may think it's a pipe dream, but I assure you it is not. If you have other "issues" that may be better suited to a 'professional', do your best to get help along with getting sober. It is also amazing how some of our "issues" go away after we sober up. But, even if we get "professional help" for our 'issues', if we are still getting drunk it's like swimming up river against a raging current.
As for the lottery? Many people will say that after 20, 30, 40 years of being a drunk, getting sober was like hitting the lottery. It's what you do with your "winnings" that count
It is entirely up to you.
Have you heard or read about people who won the lottery (huge money lottery), then five years later are broke and destitute? I've been around very rich people who are not happy - it opened my eyes. Yet there are people earning just above the poverty rate who have a solid plan in place, living within their means, and are enjoying life and find themselves with a LOT and have no financial worries ever. They have a PLAN and they stick to it.
So, what are the positives to getting sober? If you want it written out with a guarantee, nobody is going to do that for you. You are going to have to just trust that all of the people who have gotten sober after many years and who say how much their life has improved aren't lying.
Aside from all of the positives and encouragement others have shared here, I'd like to add one more thing. You can add it to the end of the list that Dee provided. A BIG positive to getting sober is that you no longer have the negatives of being a drunk. Make your list of negatives then realize how much your life will be better just by removing those alone.
Make a PLAN and STICK to it. There are many resources here and other places that can help you. If you attend meetings, listen to what the people tell you. You may think it's a pipe dream, but I assure you it is not. If you have other "issues" that may be better suited to a 'professional', do your best to get help along with getting sober. It is also amazing how some of our "issues" go away after we sober up. But, even if we get "professional help" for our 'issues', if we are still getting drunk it's like swimming up river against a raging current.
As for the lottery? Many people will say that after 20, 30, 40 years of being a drunk, getting sober was like hitting the lottery. It's what you do with your "winnings" that count
It is entirely up to you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Southern US
Posts: 626
What do I appreciate about sobriety...
-I have confidence again when I talk to people at work and don’t need to wonder if they smell alcohol.
- I’m not shaking uncontrollably, I can write, typed, use a mouse, and even take a video.
- when walking my dog I realize what a beautiful neighborhood I live in. At night the stars are stunning. (I’ve lived there 10 years and never noticed).
- my child is proud of me, she knows for the first time in a long time her evening will not end in an uber car with a slurring mama and I will get her up for school on time.
- I’m finding myself. I love to run (who knew), I like to read, I don’t like to cook, my job bores me. These are all news to me and things I can now do something about.
- I’ve lost almost 15 pounds and my eyes are white.
- I can drive home from anywhere in peace not having to worry about if there’s enough alcohol to get me through the night.
- I haven’t had a panic attack in 39 days.
- I’ve met some awesome people on SR and In AA and they inspire me to be strong.
- I AM HAPPY
There’s a good life out here, we just have to give it a chance.
-I have confidence again when I talk to people at work and don’t need to wonder if they smell alcohol.
- I’m not shaking uncontrollably, I can write, typed, use a mouse, and even take a video.
- when walking my dog I realize what a beautiful neighborhood I live in. At night the stars are stunning. (I’ve lived there 10 years and never noticed).
- my child is proud of me, she knows for the first time in a long time her evening will not end in an uber car with a slurring mama and I will get her up for school on time.
- I’m finding myself. I love to run (who knew), I like to read, I don’t like to cook, my job bores me. These are all news to me and things I can now do something about.
- I’ve lost almost 15 pounds and my eyes are white.
- I can drive home from anywhere in peace not having to worry about if there’s enough alcohol to get me through the night.
- I haven’t had a panic attack in 39 days.
- I’ve met some awesome people on SR and In AA and they inspire me to be strong.
- I AM HAPPY
There’s a good life out here, we just have to give it a chance.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Originally Posted by dwtbd 
Nothing I've found so far that doesn't top not being a drunk anymore, ever again, ever.
It is possible to decide to quit and live comfortably with residual desire. But one must commit to being done , for good. Weighing, looking for reasons implies the option for more drinks is still on the table.
Changing my internal stance from battling,debating AV to simply ignoring It was the game changer.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
- waking up, every single day, without a hangover
- better relationships with family, friends, husband, work
- no more chronic guilt about what I said or did when drinking (or even worse, what I might have said/done because my blackout prevents me from ever knowing)
- no more blackouts, ever
- clear head to deal with everything from a crisis (husband's heart attack), to just the general everyday business of living
- extra dough, ray, me $$$$$$ in my pocket
- extra time, time to read, scrapbook, walk, think, pray, socialize, write, and more (fill in your own blanks)
- found SR and all the wonderful folks here ♥
All of this and more, but, full disclosure - it took time and effort. I didn't come out of the sober gate and instantly start to reap these benefits. There were a lot of tears and tantrums that came before this.
The thing for me, I knew then and I still know now, it would be worth it. Where I was then, was not the place I would stay.
- better relationships with family, friends, husband, work
- no more chronic guilt about what I said or did when drinking (or even worse, what I might have said/done because my blackout prevents me from ever knowing)
- no more blackouts, ever
- clear head to deal with everything from a crisis (husband's heart attack), to just the general everyday business of living
- extra dough, ray, me $$$$$$ in my pocket
- extra time, time to read, scrapbook, walk, think, pray, socialize, write, and more (fill in your own blanks)
- found SR and all the wonderful folks here ♥
All of this and more, but, full disclosure - it took time and effort. I didn't come out of the sober gate and instantly start to reap these benefits. There were a lot of tears and tantrums that came before this.
The thing for me, I knew then and I still know now, it would be worth it. Where I was then, was not the place I would stay.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Lots of good stuff here, I hope you will consider following some of the suggestions. I will add my two cents:
There are many positives to sobriety but the main one for me is that when I look into the mirror, I like the person who looks back at me.
There are many positives to sobriety but the main one for me is that when I look into the mirror, I like the person who looks back at me.
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