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I Need a Plan

Old 02-27-2018, 09:58 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I'm not sure the stats you would like to find are truly available. I also don't think meds would make things much easier to be honest. At some point what we have to do is find better ways of dealing with life and relationships and being us than by drinking. When we first get sober it will feel rotten for a while, as we need time to build up our sober life strategies, and learning these strategies is developing our recovery plan. Once we've learnt those things we need to keep using them - working our recovery plan. Just stopping drinking can be unsustainable in the long term if we don't add things IN as well as take that out. Ourveecovery work is what can make sobriety bearable, sustainable, comfortable and (eventually) preferable to drinking. Just BEing sober for me was horrendous. I needed to learn how to LIVE sober. How to cope with feeling emotions without acting out.

The good news is, it's possible to make a recovery plan. There's great support on here, and there would be face to face support from other mums who've walked your path in AA that you could tap into as well. And that s a great way to find some new recovery / sober friends. I was hesitant about AA to say the least. Why would I want to go hang out with a bunch of drunks? Of course, all those folk in the meetings had been sober much longer than I could contemplate (my sponsor had her 40 years sober anniversary a little while ago!) And they were very happy to guide me along the path to recovery and teach me about how to stay sober and find peace and joy while being sober (which frankly seemed pretty impossible to me).

Anyway. Glad you're here and posting. Stay sober today.

BB
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Old 02-28-2018, 05:38 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Berrybean View Post
I'm not sure the stats you would like to find are truly available. I also don't think meds would make things much easier to be honest. At some point what we have to do is find better ways of dealing with life and relationships and being us than by drinking. When we first get sober it will feel rotten for a while, as we need time to build up our sober life strategies, and learning these strategies is developing our recovery plan. Once we've learnt those things we need to keep using them - working our recovery plan. Just stopping drinking can be unsustainable in the long term if we don't add things IN as well as take that out. Ourveecovery work is what can make sobriety bearable, sustainable, comfortable and (eventually) preferable to drinking. Just BEing sober for me was horrendous. I needed to learn how to LIVE sober. How to cope with feeling emotions without acting out.

The good news is, it's possible to make a recovery plan. There's great support on here, and there would be face to face support from other mums who've walked your path in AA that you could tap into as well. And that s a great way to find some new recovery / sober friends. I was hesitant about AA to say the least. Why would I want to go hang out with a bunch of drunks? Of course, all those folk in the meetings had been sober much longer than I could contemplate (my sponsor had her 40 years sober anniversary a little while ago!) And they were very happy to guide me along the path to recovery and teach me about how to stay sober and find peace and joy while being sober (which frankly seemed pretty impossible to me).

Anyway. Glad you're here and posting. Stay sober today.

BB
I feel amazing this morning. Like really excited!! I have hope. I have stuck my toe in the water. I don’t feel afraid. I understand this is an emotion that I’m feeling this morning, and I in all reality expect to encounter cravings towards the end of the day. And when I do feel that urge to just come home and pour a glass of wine, I’m going to stop and sit with that feeling. I will make myself feel the loss of my crutch, I will feel the fear of not having that seemingly good outlet. I will concentrate on the negative results of what drinking has produced in my mind, Spirit, and body. I will also focus on how great I feel today not being hungover. I’m going to repeat my mantra that I don’t have to drink to survive. I am a nondrinker. With support and God, I believe I can overcome today. I will not have a drink today.
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Old 02-28-2018, 06:00 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Great attitude!
Be sure to have some ice cream and a planned activity during normal drinking times if you can.

That really helps a lot of us
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Old 02-28-2018, 06:39 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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You are off to a successful start. One day at a time.

We are your Cheerleaders! GO RUNGIRL!
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Old 02-28-2018, 10:33 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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As Hawkeye has already said above, that’s a great attitude. If you haven’t already done so, google urge surfing. It sounds like you have already developed your own method to practice it.
In any case, over the next few days, take note of when you feel the urge to drink, so that you can build detailed plans based on that. See what works and what doesn’t.
E.g., in early recovery, for me it was simply substituting sugar for alcohol. When I felt a craving for a drink at around 9 pm, some ice cream would fix that. After about 6 six months or so, the sugar cravings went away and my ice cream consumption plummeted!
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Old 02-28-2018, 03:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Mac4711 View Post
As Hawkeye has already said above, that’s a great attitude. If you haven’t already done so, google urge surfing. It sounds like you have already developed your own method to practice it.
In any case, over the next few days, take note of when you feel the urge to drink, so that you can build detailed plans based on that. See what works and what doesn’t.
E.g., in early recovery, for me it was simply substituting sugar for alcohol. When I felt a craving for a drink at around 9 pm, some ice cream would fix that. After about 6 six months or so, the sugar cravings went away and my ice cream consumption plummeted!
On my way home from the office. I just feel so good and energetic, it’s amazinng! I think I’m gonna go home and open a regular Coke gasp. I never drink Coke, so I’m kinda of excited lol. The thought of drinking/not drinking tonight has tried to creep into my mind probably about four times today. I have immediately put up a mental block to the idea of pouring a glass of wine. It’s like I’m in denial but in reverse denial if that makes any sense. I’m going to say it again – – I am not going to drink tonight. I am a non drinker. I do not need a drink to survive. The incredible energy and mental clarity and excitement and just passion for my work and my life today is what is more important to me than that buzz. I believe this forum just might be the thing I’ve been looking for ever since I recognized that I have a problem. So many thanks
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Old 03-02-2018, 04:59 PM
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I’m in your same boat. Life, marital issues, and infertility has taken a hold of me. I just finally admitted to my husband last night I have a problem. Looking forward to discovering life again.
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Old 03-02-2018, 05:02 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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How long have you been drinking?
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Old 03-02-2018, 09:32 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by kim82 View Post
How long have you been drinking?
So glad you’re here and talked to your husband. Pray he’s supportive.

Drank like an idiot for a couple of years in high school. Didn’t drink in undergrad. Played sports. Started my love affair during early years of unhappy marriage, at about 27. Quit for a year at 29, then began again until this past Monday.

Have wanted to stop for so very long but couldn’t see a way out—no time for AA during the week. Certainly no time for rehab. I like this forum so so much because I can access it when I need it, any time.

I watched a movie tonight sober for the first time in a really long time and talked about it after because I followed the plot—it was so much more fun! I also got up and walked my dog in the cool morning. It was breathtaking, like a return to my whole self. I have this excitement and spunk about life again. I see beauty and miracles again. This is so much better than living the other way—like a prisoner. Yay liberation from bondage!!

You can do this.
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