dnash1

This is my first time posting to any forum, I suppose I'm hoping that my current feelings are familiar to others. I have close to 4 years of recovery under my belt and I am grateful for each and every day of it. Less than a year ago I got married to my wonderful husband. He struggles with depression, something that I was aware of before we married, and has self-medicated in the past, mostly through prescription opiates and weed. The last few months have been particularly difficult as his depression has deepened and, unbeknownst to me at the time, his use of drugs increased. Last weekend he hit bottom/had a crisis, (it's really difficult to separate the depression from the addiction issues) and asked for help. As an addict, I know how hard it was for him to do that and I am very proud of him for taking that step. We have arranged for him to enter an inpatient treatment program next week which specializes in dual-diagnosis. I'm trying my best to focus on self-care and to be diligent with working my own program. I guess what has caught me off guard is how helpless, sad and angry I feel right now. My own experience with addiction and mental health issues would seem to be factors that would help me deal with these feelings appropriately but I'm stunned by how difficult I'm finding the whole situation. I know I can't fix his problems, I know they are not my fault, I know the only thing I can do is sit with him where he is right now and wait for the sun to come out. Is there anyone out there who has watched that sunrise? Maybe I just need a little positive inspiration today...

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, dnash; I am so sorry for what brings you here.

I am sure that others will be along with experience to share.

In the meantime, you may want to also check the Friends and Families forum here.

Congratulations on your sober time.

Again, welcome!

Anna

Welcome, and I'm sorry for your situation. It sounds like an inpatient rehab for dual-diagnosis is a good idea. I hope he does well. I'm glad you know that you need to take care of yourself during this time.

FreeOwl

Four years of recovery is great!

I’m having some similar feelings watching someone I love go through a struggle with alcohol. She’s lying and spiraling and in an abusive codependent relationship and all I can do is hope at some point she’ll truly want to change. It’s sad and challenging to be helpless to really help - though I can see so clearly what she needs to do....

Anyway, please stick around, share, we’re here to help support and reinforce your sobriety. That’s what you need to focus on. He will reach for help or he won’t. You know that you need to care for YOU.

dnash1

Thank you all for your words of support and fellowship. Tomorrow will be a week since he checked in, I will carry the image of his face as we said goodbye in my soul forever, without a doubt one of the hardest moments of my life. Last week was a week of loss, apart from the situation with my husband my godmother passed unexpectedly and, less importantly, my car died for good. Despite feeling overwhelmed and occasionally like the wind has been knocked out of me, I've been attending Al-Anon meetings and focusing on exercise, meditation and nutrition. It seems to be the best and only thing I can do right now, apart from hoping for the best while keeping expectations to a minimum. Thanks again for the responses, I will take @SoberLeigh advice and head over to the family forums. Peace and love.

SoberLeigh

I am so sorry for all that you are going through, dnash.

Many thoughts and prayers your way.

least

I hope you can find the support you need to get thru this.

Dee74

sending you best wishes Dnash

D

dnash1

Between my family, a therapist, Al-Anon and the wonderful community on these forums I'm making it one day at a time. Thank you so much for your well wishes and support. I also agree with your statements on dogs, I have two of my own and would adopt a million if I could hahaha Snuggling with them pulls me through some darker moments.