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Old 02-24-2018, 09:43 PM   #1 (permalink)
Samantha
 

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Had a tough night...


I barely made it through today.
Had a hair appointment and wanted soooo badly to go to the liquor store across the street.
Luckily (or unluckily), I was sick from my eating disorder and literally had to run home after i was done at the salon.
Then I wanted to go back out but I was too cold and just plain exhausted, probably from recovery.
Went to a big birthday party tonight and there was so much booze I was in heaven! But I didnít have any.
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Old 02-24-2018, 10:14 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Glad you got through it tonight without drinking!

If I'm at a big party with lot's of booze, I feel like I'm in hell

Take good care of yourself.
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Old 02-24-2018, 10:16 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I'm glad you got another sober day down anarock.

do you have anything in your recovery plan for tough days?

D
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Old 02-24-2018, 10:25 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Oh I have lots of plans! 5km run class/gym, skating the river, Pokťmon, work, counselling, AA.
But whatís stopping me from taking a break from my busy life and having drinks?
Nothing except will power, which I do not have.
Thatís why Iím obese and an alcoholic.
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Old 02-24-2018, 10:36 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
But what’s stopping me from taking a break from my busy life and having drinks?
Yeah I agree.

A plan can be more than activities tho - like posting here before you drink, using something like urge surfing...

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...e-surfing.html (urge surfing)

goign to AA or some other meeting based group if you're open to that

that kind of thing..y'know?

D
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Old 02-24-2018, 10:41 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Ana,

The main thing that helped me get through the early days was staying full and vigorous exercise.

Understanding that booze damaged my brain was huge for me.

I just saw a show on HBO called...Risky Business. It covered alcohol addiction in the lives of several people

It also reminded me that my brain damage is permanent. My brain has had to develop new pathways for me to function today.

The program, and SR, warned me that a relapse would be devestaing.

One guy made it 35 days and then went off the deep end. He lost all muscle tone and could barely walk. It was eye opening.

His relapse also reminded me of the strong cravings I had for the first 6 months. I was physically clean but my brain still wasn't used to normal.

I still crave, but I will never give up my sobriety for a buzz.

Being a sober person, after years of being a drunk, is contrasting, in a good way.

It has taken a long time to get this far. It has been so worth it.

I thank God everyday and night for my sobriety.

Stay clean.

Thanks.
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When I crave I think of the next day after effects:

high blood pressure, sleep issues, strength loss, immune system compromise (sick).

BpSSS. My mantra.

Studied "alcohol kindling" and "alcohol PAWS."

Last intoxication: 8 May 15.
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Old 02-25-2018, 08:14 AM   #7 (permalink)
Samantha
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Yeah I agree.

A plan can be more than activities tho - like posting here before you drink, using something like urge surfing...

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...e-surfing.html (urge surfing)

goign to AA or some other meeting based group if you're open to that

that kind of thing..y'know?

D
I go to AA. Sometimes I just want to stay home and relax...I hardly get to do that.
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Old 02-25-2018, 08:18 AM   #8 (permalink)
Samantha
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by D122y View Post
Ana,

The main thing that helped me get through the early days was staying full and vigorous exercise.

Understanding that booze damaged my brain was huge for me.

I just saw a show on HBO called...Risky Business. It covered alcohol addiction in the lives of several people

It also reminded me that my brain damage is permanent. My brain has had to develop new pathways for me to function today.

The program, and SR, warned me that a relapse would be devestaing.

One guy made it 35 days and then went off the deep end. He lost all muscle tone and could barely walk. It was eye opening.

His relapse also reminded me of the strong cravings I had for the first 6 months. I was physically clean but my brain still wasn't used to normal.

I still crave, but I will never give up my sobriety for a buzz.

Being a sober person, after years of being a drunk, is contrasting, in a good way.

It has taken a long time to get this far. It has been so worth it.

I thank God everyday and night for my sobriety.

Stay clean.

Thanks.
I eat too much now and I am a gym member and generally go 5 times a week. I canít go more as itís risky for me to go at all, recovering from anorexia. I was over exercising and not eating. Now I eat too much but the second I start losing weight I stop eating and only exercise.
Eating disorder will kill me far before alcohol.
Anyways, sometimes I just want to relax and not do anything.
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Old 02-25-2018, 08:24 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Anarock View Post
I eat too much now and I am a gym member and generally go 5 times a week. I canít go more as itís risky for me to go at all, recovering from anorexia. I was over exercising and not eating. Now I eat too much but the second I start losing weight I stop eating and only exercise.
Eating disorder will kill me far before alcohol.
Anyways, sometimes I just want to relax and not do anything.
Are you eating too much or is it your disorder telling you that you are eating too much? It is good to hear that you are keeping yourself grounded and aware of your anorexia.
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Old 02-25-2018, 08:28 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Mizzuno View Post
Are you eating too much or is it your disorder telling you that you are eating too much? It is good to hear that you are keeping yourself grounded and aware of your anorexia.
No I have been eating too much for the last few months.
But I guess the main point of this story is that I got through my cravings and stayed sober 😀
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Old 02-25-2018, 08:45 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Hi,

I understand what you are saying. I almost died from anorexia. I was hospitalized at 60 lbs. I lost my hair, I grew a weird coat of hair on my body. I would bang my head on a wall and lay in a road hoping someone would run over me. Anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any illness. In the hospital I realized I had a life or choice decision I had to make. Live and fight the anorexia or give in to it and die. I chose to live and it wasn't easy. It was a long battle but I am happy to say I am now at a normal weight and have been for a very long time.

I kind of see drinking the same way. I have to decide to be sober or give in to it and suffer the consequences. Last year a friend of mine, 44 years old, died of alcoholism. I watched him go. He had opportunities to get sober but he did not or could not take them.

These are two tough battles. I just want to say I wish you the very best and your life is worth fighting for.
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