icandothis20

On Monday I leave for my all inclusive wedding.

Most everyone in the group are heavy drinkers. High functioning, heavy drinkers. The kind that make me think I am not that bad, and also make my AV act all types of crazy.

Thank God, my cousin (and bridesmaid) is completely sober. My fiance is also not a big drinker, and since ive stopped drinking I think he had beers at his Bachelor Party and thats it. His bachelor party was a big trigger for me though because he got the big limo and strippers and drinking style bachelor party I didnt get. My AV was very resentful.

I talked to him about this though and told him I really need his support at the wedding. It wont be easy for me if he is day drinking with all his friends etc., We are there to get married and right now I really need the support.

I know he will most likely end up drinking on the day of the wedding, but he has said he wont be drinking to support me. I also realize, no matter what he does, this is about me and my sobriety.

I can tell him anything, and he knows me well so he knows what to watch for.

I have my sober tool box ready. Will be waking up early and exercising with my cousin, I have a bunch of books on sobriety I am bringing. I wrote myself an entire book to bring with me for all the reasons I dont drink, quotes, playing the tape through etc. I will meditate and do yoga everyday. I have my supports in place. I have my laptop to log into SR at anytime.

Sorry for my rambling. I am going to keep this my accountability thread and log in daily to update...

Does any body have any other tips for the all inclusive!?

I know that this is risky for early sobriety but I am so determined to come home sober. Dont know what I would do without this site!

lessgravity

First of all congrats on the wedding! Super exciting.

I just got married last February and although I was still drinking at the time, I promised myself to and stayed sober the night before, during the wedding and the day after. I can say that being sober was so much fun - it was easy because it was great to be around family and friends (some wasted some not at all) who were so happy for me. Even better to be clear and present and sober.

The whole weekend though - inclusive especially - sounds tough. Sounds like you are going in prepared though. That's excellent of course. I think you are going to feel so great being sober at the end - even if you are envious and triggered by people getting drunk. If you play it out, enjoying the weekend and being able to remember all of it, that's something that you will have with you for the rest of your life.

Enjoy it, savor it. You will be aware enough to do so.

Dee74

This is one of the most important days in your life. You'll want to remember it - and not with embarrassment.

Have a plan for likely scenarios, like if you're being pressured to drink, or if you feel internal pressure to drink.

Remember - this is vital - Its the first drink that gets us - not the last.

There are no safe drinks for us, no 'just a glass', no 'free sips'

Don't have that first drink, and you'll be fine

toast with seltzer pop whatever. Use an empty glass if you have to.

There's some other really good ideas here
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...val-guide.html (Social Occasion Survival Guide)

have a wonderful day

D

warrens

Well, if it were me, I'd want a plan, and a plan that included my partner. A plan that addresses multiple scenarios (if this, then that...); a plan that includes a trusted friend who is keeping an eye out for potential trouble. It may free you up to simply enjoy the moment and the reverie without fear.

nova84

I've posted this before icandothis20 in another of your threads but please take it from someone who drank at their wedding after 5 months of sobriety (and wholeheartedly regrets it) you will absolutely not regret being sober on your big day...it will be amazing...enjoy 💜