17 days, not flinching yet
 

Steady is the course for the moment. I am certain there are rough waters ahead but for the time being I have a straight line through these sober days.

Went to a meeting yesterday morning before the gym before work. Someone who was "qualifying" (I'm all for AA and will continue to go but 1984 terminology like that will always turn me off) said this line, which I think I've heard before, just not in a while:

"When I was in control of drinking I didn't enjoy it and when I enjoyed drinking I wasn't in control."

Or something like that. I prefer "When I was forcing down cheap vodka from plastic bottles into a stomach that had violently vomited earlier that same morning while in a state of baseline panic and anxiety and self-deceit and self-hate I enjoyed my drinking. Truth is I was never in control."

Either way. I'm carrying on. Clear headed, learning, looking people in the eye.

Thank you as ALWAYS SR - this place is remarkable.

Happy sober weekend.

No one is coming to save me.

keep racking those sober days up less :)

D

I can very much relate to this.

Happy Sober Weekend!!

Your doing great Less. Way to go! :c011:

Great post Less. Way to go on 17 days!

Congratulations. I hope you never flinch!

Congratulations on 17 days.

AA and this website were the key factors that helped me get sober.

Good job on your sobriety and keep coming back as I am sure you've heard. I don't think I've ever heard the word "qualifying" actually used in a meeting- but it did made me giggle that you only put the BB as antiquated as 1984 ;)

The only thing I'd say is.....work your program so that flinching is not a necessary word in your vocab.

Best to you.

Ha, I like your version better. I've found that alcoholism feeds off of romanticism, so it helps to remind yourself of the ugly, raw reality of what you were actually doing to yourself.