Weekender 15-19 February 2018
Gilmer & Andy 
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, weekenders.
Thank you for the thread, Dee.
I love the quote too, though I don't completely agree that the fear is inflicted only by ourselves. Often it is inflicted by other people's projection of their insecurities. Especially people we are supposed to respect and look up to. So fear sneaks in our mind and plays the role of a lens we are seeing the world through. It we've been living with this fear long enough we starting acting automatically upon the fear-crippled thinking pattern.
It's our job responsibility to make a regular assessment of our fears and ruthlessly weed out those which impair our life. For me it's almost a day job)
Have a good one, weekenders.
Thank you for the thread, Dee.
I love the quote too, though I don't completely agree that the fear is inflicted only by ourselves. Often it is inflicted by other people's projection of their insecurities. Especially people we are supposed to respect and look up to. So fear sneaks in our mind and plays the role of a lens we are seeing the world through. It we've been living with this fear long enough we starting acting automatically upon the fear-crippled thinking pattern.
It's our job responsibility to make a regular assessment of our fears and ruthlessly weed out those which impair our life. For me it's almost a day job)
Have a good one, weekenders.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
MidnightBlue, so good to hear from you.
I've been getting a lot of addictive thoughts lately, I have some really big stresses happening right now and that tends to invoke circular thinking, which is always a problem. Anxiety, FEAR of what may happen, it's all there a couple times a day. Then I talk myself down. "God my thoughts about _ _ _ _ _ _ are unmanageable. Please direct my thinking on this."
So far it works 100% of the time. Settles me down, stops the ruminating.
Seems like fear can be a good thing, it keeps me focused on what I need to do next. It's a survival mechanism. Without fear the early humans would have watched the saber-tooth tiger eat their arms and just kept smiling, yeah? Completely normal to have fear, it's how I perceive it and if I can use it to my advantage to inspire or as a call to action.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tuuuuuuuulips!
I took a bike-ride tour through the tulips at peak season one year. Yeah, the flowers were beautiful but the 30 MPH cold wind and horizontal rain across the valley, not so much fun for a 20 mile bike ride. I was supposed to meet up with a group, but I never found them. I got lost for four miles; under-dressed and before cell phones, and out in the middle of nowhere, Skagit Valley. It could only have been worse if the bike had broken down. I drive to the tulips since then.
It was an adventure. Brr.
The flowers peak and there is a flurry of tourism for one week. It's a mad dash for images and then a barren valley till next year.
photo by Kevin Hartman
In for a sober weekend.
That image is prettier bigger. Oh, well, dunno why it won't link from the Google....
http://art-sheep.com/wp-content/uplo...an-740x489.jpg
I've been getting a lot of addictive thoughts lately, I have some really big stresses happening right now and that tends to invoke circular thinking, which is always a problem. Anxiety, FEAR of what may happen, it's all there a couple times a day. Then I talk myself down. "God my thoughts about _ _ _ _ _ _ are unmanageable. Please direct my thinking on this."
So far it works 100% of the time. Settles me down, stops the ruminating.
Seems like fear can be a good thing, it keeps me focused on what I need to do next. It's a survival mechanism. Without fear the early humans would have watched the saber-tooth tiger eat their arms and just kept smiling, yeah? Completely normal to have fear, it's how I perceive it and if I can use it to my advantage to inspire or as a call to action.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tuuuuuuuulips!
I took a bike-ride tour through the tulips at peak season one year. Yeah, the flowers were beautiful but the 30 MPH cold wind and horizontal rain across the valley, not so much fun for a 20 mile bike ride. I was supposed to meet up with a group, but I never found them. I got lost for four miles; under-dressed and before cell phones, and out in the middle of nowhere, Skagit Valley. It could only have been worse if the bike had broken down. I drive to the tulips since then.
It was an adventure. Brr.The flowers peak and there is a flurry of tourism for one week. It's a mad dash for images and then a barren valley till next year.
photo by Kevin Hartman
In for a sober weekend.
That image is prettier bigger. Oh, well, dunno why it won't link from the Google....
http://art-sheep.com/wp-content/uplo...an-740x489.jpg
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 292
A little bit of fear is a healthy thing. For example, I feel fear if a see a vicious dog not on its leash, or if I'm close to the guardrail of a really high balcony. In such situations, fear compels us to take notice of threats in our surroundings and act accordingly, in the name of self-preservation, often triggering the "fight or flight" reflex.
The problem (and its a BIG problem for alcoholics) is irrational fear. Feeling fear when there are no real threats to our well-being. Fear of a social situation, for example, or fear of a new experience, like a new job. The "fight or flight" reflex gets triggered when it is not needed and, indeed, is not desirable. And unfortunately, so many of us have, in the past, used alcohol to dull that fear, rather than deal with those situations rationally. Then when we choose not to use alcohol, we get stuck with a lot of irrational fear to deal with.
The problem (and its a BIG problem for alcoholics) is irrational fear. Feeling fear when there are no real threats to our well-being. Fear of a social situation, for example, or fear of a new experience, like a new job. The "fight or flight" reflex gets triggered when it is not needed and, indeed, is not desirable. And unfortunately, so many of us have, in the past, used alcohol to dull that fear, rather than deal with those situations rationally. Then when we choose not to use alcohol, we get stuck with a lot of irrational fear to deal with.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,496
Originally Posted by saoutchik 
In, fear was partly responsible for my excessive drinking, it also made it harder to quit. Overcoming fear should be on the school curriculum.
♥♥
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,496
Originally Posted by trachemys
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
♥♥
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,496
Originally Posted by andyh
"We are more often scared than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality" - Seneca
I hear you Midnight honey, but the fear that has choked my life is of my own making.
♥♥Sending you oodles of love dearest bim.
♥♥
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
That Seneca quote really resonates with me, too.
The external obstacles in our lives can definitely cause fear; but it is within our power to process them without letting them paralyze us.
As many times as we are tempted to freak out, we should take a step toward something that will produce calm: get advice, make a plan, meditate (something guided might help you concentrate), exercise, When you’ve done everything in your power to neutralize the problem, the best thing to do is divert your mind while waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Even if the worst happens, at least you have a starting point for your climb back to safety.
Even if the frightening external factors are your beyond your control, there’s never a place so desperate that you can’t summon your own capability of reason.
That’s something nobody can take away from you.
The external obstacles in our lives can definitely cause fear; but it is within our power to process them without letting them paralyze us.
As many times as we are tempted to freak out, we should take a step toward something that will produce calm: get advice, make a plan, meditate (something guided might help you concentrate), exercise, When you’ve done everything in your power to neutralize the problem, the best thing to do is divert your mind while waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Even if the worst happens, at least you have a starting point for your climb back to safety.
Even if the frightening external factors are your beyond your control, there’s never a place so desperate that you can’t summon your own capability of reason.
That’s something nobody can take away from you.
ours de petit cerveau
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,630
Originally Posted by Gilmer
That Seneca quote really resonates with me, too.
"People are disturbed not by things, but by their response to them" - Epictetus
which in turn formed the basis for some of REBT (forerunner of CBT), in particular the A-B-C tool, which is worth a read if you haven't seen it before:
http://livingunbound.net/lessons-res...-therapy-rebt/
it's a way of looking at why we get anxious, angry, etc. about things, & whether, rationally, we need to do so. I use it all the time, not just for recovery stuff, but as a dealing-with-life tool too.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,202
DesertDawg you are bang on with your observation that it is irrational fears that are the debilitating ones. The really annoying thing is that deep down, a part of me knows that it is irrational. Sometimes I get anxious about something and I am not even sure what it is.
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