Day 5 comes with sadness
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 22
Day 5 comes with sadness
Day 5 comes with sadness for my wife the women I love soo much has put an end to our marriage. I asked her about counseling and she said it would not help. It comes at a bit of a surprise to me. I asked is there someone else she told me no she has just been lying to herself for awhile. She told me to get help for my drinking I did but no help for the marriage I guess it’s a one way street.😢
Oh by the way it was through a text message.
Oh by the way it was through a text message.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 150
That's rough, brother. I'm sorry to hear that. But there is a silver lining here.
You can look at this as an opportunity to focus on yourself. You stay sober, you hit the gym, you set some other life goals. It's an opportunity for growth and change: embrace it. You will come out a much stronger, healthier person. Who knows, in a few months, maybe things will be fixable between you two. Maybe you won't even want to fix things. The point is not to worry about it too much in the moment and instead focus on yourself.
It's okay to be sad now. It's fresh, your sobriety is fresh. Don't be afraid to reach out to friends and family, or possibly a professional if you need it. Post here, vent here, journal. Whatever you need to get it out as you work through this.
You can look at this as an opportunity to focus on yourself. You stay sober, you hit the gym, you set some other life goals. It's an opportunity for growth and change: embrace it. You will come out a much stronger, healthier person. Who knows, in a few months, maybe things will be fixable between you two. Maybe you won't even want to fix things. The point is not to worry about it too much in the moment and instead focus on yourself.
It's okay to be sad now. It's fresh, your sobriety is fresh. Don't be afraid to reach out to friends and family, or possibly a professional if you need it. Post here, vent here, journal. Whatever you need to get it out as you work through this.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,419
Hi Jake.
I'm sorry.
This happens a lot though.
The only thing I can say is keep doing this - for you - you want to be sober, right?
no matter what the future holds, you'll be better off for it this way.
I couldn't have dreamt of the sober life I have now but it's pretty amazing.
I feel sure you'll look back and feel the same, given time.
D
I'm sorry.
This happens a lot though.
The only thing I can say is keep doing this - for you - you want to be sober, right?
no matter what the future holds, you'll be better off for it this way.
I couldn't have dreamt of the sober life I have now but it's pretty amazing.
I feel sure you'll look back and feel the same, given time.
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: GA
Posts: 700
I'm on day 5 too! So I unfortunately cannot give much advice in terms of long term sobriety. All I can say is maybe come up with and write down a plan of action for just this sort of situation. It's your time to focus on you. I know sobriety must remain #1 despite the tornado around us. Do some healthy self-care activities. Write thoughts down.
And if you're anything like me avoid the pity party at all costs! That's usually my warning sign that a relapse may be incoming if i don't take action.
And if you're anything like me avoid the pity party at all costs! That's usually my warning sign that a relapse may be incoming if i don't take action.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 140
Wow, I’m on day 5 too and thought I was having a rough day. So sorry to hear about your marriage ending mate, that’s tough. I know it’s easy for me to say and I’m sure it doesn’t feel this way now, but you might well look back on this one day as a blessing in disguise. It would have been nice if she’d at least had the decency to tell you to your face rather than a text message, but whatever, that was her choice.
I agree with Wayforward, use this as an opportunity to focus completely on you and your recovery without the distractions of keeping the wife happy. It’s all about you now, I say embrace it.
I agree with Wayforward, use this as an opportunity to focus completely on you and your recovery without the distractions of keeping the wife happy. It’s all about you now, I say embrace it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 166
Sorry, Jake, that is cold. As one dark humorist put it, it is always darkest before it turns completely pitch black. I would observe, however, that a lot of people (myself included) on this board and elsewhere seem to continue reaping the questionable harvest of what they have sown for a considerable time after they have decided to turn things around, rather like turning around an oil tanker (I was going to say Titanic but that would have been a bit much). So yes, it sucks and it would be a good idea to brace for more suckage as you fight the good fight to turn things around. Good luck with the struggle, it is worth it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Yeah..that's a blow no matter how you were told of it. Like others have said; Now you can completely focus on your recovery and get back on track with your life. I went through a long,drawn out breakup when I was serious about my recovery and it sucked/sucks at times,but I was able to focus on my main objectives and she was not one of them. Build your sober self into whatever you want to now.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Originally Posted by taketwo 
She didn't show much respect or courage in texting.
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