Babescake

I think I need to retreat to my parents. My home is a trigger. The husband (see other posts) DGAF, but I don't want to drown here. I hate leaving my son, but "supposedly" it won't be seen as abandonment if I feel triggered.

Nothing new. Just same old stuff that I want to forget. He refuses to talk about my rehab or us getting help. I hate it. I hate it SO BADLY I want to scream.

Meeting tomorrow, I will be okay....

Carlotta

Hi

I think that it is probably a good idea for you.
You are in early sobriety when nerves and emotions are raw and your body is still recouping,. You also just got the flu which is a really nasty one this year and you are going through a divorce.

Give yourself a break and stay with your folks, be your "mom's little girl" for a bit and let yourself be nurtured as you nurture your new sobriety.

My suggestion to you would be that you check base with your lawyer so your STBXH cannot claim abandonment when he files for custody.

Don't drink no matter what and be kind to yourself.

You can do it!

Ps: look into mindfulness meditation (well that's my thing LOL) it could really help you a LOT if you click with it. There are quite a few good videos on youtube.

saoutchik

A change of surroundings is often beneficial in early recovery as it underlines our commitment so I would do it and get a break from the disputes (sorry, I do not know the background to this) I totally echo Carlotta's point about making sure it cannot be used against you at a later date.

Anna

Just a thought - if you're concerned about leaving your son, maybe you should check with your lawyer that your leaving him will not be seen as abandonment?

I hope that you find some peace.

entropy1964

Hey BC

Ugh. Living with the man you are divorcing. That is not fun. I have been there, done that. And I was lucky because we were trying to make it as easy as possible for the sake of our then 3 year old daughter.

So obviously I don't know all the details. But, does your husband have an 'ok' relationship with your folks? Do they live relatively close? Is it possible to work out a schedule with your son so he stays with you there for an agreed upon amount of time? I mean, if divorce and shared custody is where this is heading you guys will have to agree on a schedule anyway. And staying with someone where things are so tense is obviously not healthy for anyone.

I edited this to add: I hope you are going to meetings. And even better a women's meeting. What you are going through is, well, common to say the least. Incredibly so. It might help to have other women face to face that have walked in your shoes.

Behappy1

I agree with frick - can you take your son with you for at least part of the time? I don’t know how low your husband would go, but I would be worried of what he could present to the courts. Obviously your FIRST priority is and should be your sobriety right now. If you need to go, then please do so. Sometimes a change of environment helps out a lot! I stayed with my parents (just at night) for a month. Just to break the chains of “habit”. I was home all day, but slept up there @ night. It sucked, but it was necessary for me to regroup.

tomsteve

good stuff here and i hope you,too, are documenting everything going on.
is there a reason you couldnt take the youngen with you to your parents if you decide to go?