taketwo

Checking in for the day. I slept well, though still getting tired in the afternoons. I had to take two (!) short naps today, so I'm still working to make up for lost time. My face is looking less bloated and, generally, I'm feeling physically good except for the need for extra sleep (<-- and my energy is good otherwise, I just hit a wall and get suddenly totally wiped out like a little kid). I had a lovely dinner with my parents and got some cleaning done. I'm starting to crave healthier food, which is good. I haven't been directing any sort of willpower towards eating or exercise, so I'm glad the comfort/sugar eating drive is fading back to a more normal eating.

wayforward

Glad to hear that taketwo. Exercise and healthy eating are definitely great bedfellows to sobriety and feeling good overall.

That's 20 down. Tomorrow it's blackjack.

Dustitoffman

Hi Feb's

Sun shining again. Makes such a difference!

I have been chugging along one day at a time nothing amazing just moving forward.

Not happy about putting a bit of weight back on!

Other night feeling low I raided the freezer and helped myself to a small tub of Cornish cream ice cream. Followed shortly by stomach cramps and some other things that I will not mention.

Lightbulb moment it dawned on me that I am lactose intolerant.

Crazy it's been right there under my nose and I have not seen it for years. I had already moved to soya for coffee without even thinking about it! That must have been a subliminal choice.

This has not been tested by a doctor at this point however it seems as obvious as a slap in the face to me at the moment.

To give this an accurate test I am going to have to cut out all of the choice things that have been my go to during abstinence.
I will do this and see what the results are in a few days a week, 2 weeks.
Some of the symptoms overlap alcohol withdrawal symptoms which have continued to plague me.

I am hoping that this resolves some of those issues. In the short term it certainly won't hurt to run a little experiment.

Anyone have experience/ advice with lactose intolerance?

Dee74

Not me dusty sorry

D

Erratic

on day 28 for non smoking x

good to see so many here x

Shiv86

Hi I am new to this...
So here goes...I have never had a healthy relationship with alcohol and 3 years ago after landing myself in hospital after falling enough was enough, I completely stayed away from alcohol for nearly 3 years. This changed at Christmas when I thought it would be ‘safe’ and I could control having a drink, at first I could (I thought I could) but the past 4 weeks I have been signed off work due to bereavements in the family which has then led me to have more time in which I’ve begun drinking again, about 6-10 bottles of beer a day and twice I’ve had to have a drink in the morning to stop myself shaking and sweating, I’m basically here just to see if anyone can help me find the will power that I seem to have lost??

ProfessorD

Hi Shiv86! Welcome, so glad you are here and sharing your story. I have really benefited from this website. Lot of great support and help--especially in this February group.

It sounds like you need to stop drinking. I have definitely been there, drinking too much then drinking to feel better. Horrible cycle, and one which leave you very depressed and low. I'm sorry to hear about the losses in your family. I wonder if your grief has also made it harder to stay sober? You mention you had 3 years sober before xmas, which is amazing. How did you stay sober during those 3 years?

wildflower70

Day 16

Good morning SR friends!
It's been a few days since my last post, been so busy I have forgotten to post! This actually feels like an accomplishment to me, that I don't have to be glued to the computer to get through the day!
Still no desire to ever touch booze again...I'm no longer looking in the rear-view mirror, it's all about looking forward. I used to sit in a pool of regrets about my past. How I've been hurt, how I've hurt others, how my drinking kept me from living a full and happy life.
No more! I am only looking forward, and this is helping me to be more appreciative about the beautiful life I currently have, a life free of alcohol. Thanks SR and bless all of you on your journey,

ProfessorD

taketwo, great progress! I can relate to the feeling you describe. I just hit 5 weeks today, and I'm still feeling random bouts of tiredness. I'll take a little extra sleepiness any day over all the other pain that goes along with drinking, though!

ProfessorD

Erratic, congrats on 28 days smoke free! I've heard that's an incredibly hard addiction to kick. Well done How do you feel without that toxic stuff in your life?

ProfessorD

Love this, Wildflower! Congrats on your progress so far. Such a positive and optimistic post. So happy you are enjoying your beautiful life.

Shiv86

Hi...it’s the drinking to feel better that I’m struggling with most because then it’s the line of when to stop and wishing I hadn’t started. And the disappointment in myself as well.
I just decided enough was enough and had to cut it out because I was hurting myself and my family with it. It wasn’t even the temptation of drinking that made me start again it was believing that I ‘could handle’ it better this time around. Now I’m in the circle again I’m struggling to see how to get out of it, thank you for being so understanding 😊

ProfessorD

Today I am grateful to wake up early, feel my body, and have a cup of coffee. Out of nowhere, I'm overcome with emotion and crying. I'm reflecting on how many times I shouldn't have woken up when I was heavily drinking. How many times I poured poison down my throat past the point of all reason and then even further. How many times I could have done irreparable harm to myself, someone I love, or a stranger after a night of drinking myself into oblivion. Today, I am grateful just to wake up, to have my body, to have my mind, to have all of you. I will do everything in my power today to appreciate the gift of life which I have so often wasted and degraded.

ProfessorD

Shiv, I relate to everything you say here. Try not to dwell on feeling disappointed in yourself. It's hard work to make this change; we all know that here and we can help. You've done it before, and you will do it again!!!

Shiv86

Thank you, every day I strive to not drink but then the temptation is over whelming and I’m justifying it to myself!!! The little sober person in my brain tells me not to but the other side is stronger, it’s very frustrating as I know how good sober feels and just want to get back there!!! I’ve never spoken to anyone that has the same struggles that I do, I thought maybe it was time too!!!

Dustitoffman

Thanks D for your reply.

I haven't had much in the way of response on the subject of lactose.

I will give it a day or two then consider creating a dedicated thread to see if anyone has personal experience to share.

The Feb's forum is probably not the best place to put it out there.

Wishing you all a happy and peaceful Friday.
Dusty😎

CuteNGayYay

Good Morning all..Hi Prof D. Loved your post!
2 weeks today for me. woo hoo! Also loved what Wildflower said.. Can't look in the rear view anymore.. I've tried to do this many times.. a few times having a good amount of sobriety. I want this to be my last time. I gain nothing by drinking. I lose a lot when I do. I hope we all have a fantastic sober Friday and weekend! Stay close !

Erratic

Thanks prof x sry your feeling emotional but i do understand how it is when stopping drinking which i am still trying to do and when i do i become really emotional about things. Your doing great hun x on my no smoking its actually easier than drink thats why i am trying it this way for a change. I am having some moments when my mood dips with not having a cig but it is manageable more than it would be if i stopped drinking aswell. When i think i am ready i will also stop drinking, at the moment i am trying to cut down and manage it a bit more which is hard going. The past 2 sats i havent drank so i am happy with that.

good luck on your rollercoaster ride prof xx

taketwo

I'm lactose intolerant. A few things I've learned:
- Drink a big glass of milk and it will likley be pretty clear if you're intolerant
- Even if intolerant, you probably are still producing the enzyme in your pancreas at some level so it's more about learning what pace and intensity you can keep up. This involves having a general sense of how often you've been eating dairy lately and what foods are more and less problematic (e.g., fresher cheeses are a problem but aged cheeses are often fine)
- Lactaid pills will allow you to continue eating dairy if you choose to (the chewables taste terrible to me - like what I imagine dry astronaut ice cream must taste like).
- Since it's an enzyme, you can simply take more lactaid pills if needed. I originally thought you take one and if it wasn't enough then too bad. But on the occasions I want to splurge, say pizza, I just take4-6 of them.
- I am more of a salty/savory food preference person, but if you like ice cream, Ben & Jerrys has some good dairy free options and the So Delicious cashew milk flavors are intense but pretty good (though the batch consistency seems to be an issue)
- You'll figure out what you really value when it comes to dairy, which is probably a good thing - I think in the US, at least, we mindlessly consume a lot of dairy.

Zombie79

Must admit, I did think about having a drink tonight but I'm doing a 5mile hike tomorrow so I know it wouldn't happen if I went and drank.
Got home and I've so far got dinner cooking and tidied up, put a load of washing on. Which is possibly the most productive I've been on a Friday in years. I normally come home and just vegetate and numb myself with alcohol.
So I'm enjoying this new motivation to improve my house and myself.
Hope everyone has a great weekend x