Day 1
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 24
Day 1
So it's day 1 again. After spending the day under the covers nursing another terrible hang over I know this time I can't fail again. I'm great at the one week sober but seems like getting past that is such a challenge. It breaks my heart to be here again. It's so hard, depressing. Never knowing if I can make it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello and welcome
I know where you're coming from. For me, it was four days. After laying in bed, like you, full of guilt, anxiety and remorse and swearing drink off, Day four would come along. Felt better anxiety gone and it was back to the bottle.
I lived like that four twenty years until the drinking got closer and closer together between days.
And I was a bad, heavy drinker. Soon, it was shooters of whiskey at 8am, then drinking beer all day or the late stage alcoholics friend, vodka.
I drank for almost thirty years The last fifteen as I described.
So no matter how low we have sunk, stopping is possible.
I've been sober row four eight years and it took me a lot of slip ups to get this far.
You can quit. I feel your pain and as I said can relate how frustrating it can be.
Just remember, you never have to drink again.
Stick around here you'll find a lot of support.
Best to you and you are not alone.
I know where you're coming from. For me, it was four days. After laying in bed, like you, full of guilt, anxiety and remorse and swearing drink off, Day four would come along. Felt better anxiety gone and it was back to the bottle.
I lived like that four twenty years until the drinking got closer and closer together between days.
And I was a bad, heavy drinker. Soon, it was shooters of whiskey at 8am, then drinking beer all day or the late stage alcoholics friend, vodka.
I drank for almost thirty years The last fifteen as I described.
So no matter how low we have sunk, stopping is possible.
I've been sober row four eight years and it took me a lot of slip ups to get this far.
You can quit. I feel your pain and as I said can relate how frustrating it can be.
Just remember, you never have to drink again.
Stick around here you'll find a lot of support.
Best to you and you are not alone.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Geordie Land
Posts: 380
Hello Twistedthistle 
If you can't fail again, don't fail again
You can get past a week, if you want to. Failure is a state of mind. Did you know that they used to say it was impossible for anyone to run a mile in 3 minutes? No one did it for years, then once the first man did it and proved it wasn't impossible, the 3 minute milers came through thick and fast.
You feel rough now, thats the poison in your system. That'll go. And then you can get on with proving yourself wrong!
If you can't fail again, don't fail again
You can get past a week, if you want to. Failure is a state of mind. Did you know that they used to say it was impossible for anyone to run a mile in 3 minutes? No one did it for years, then once the first man did it and proved it wasn't impossible, the 3 minute milers came through thick and fast.
You feel rough now, thats the poison in your system. That'll go. And then you can get on with proving yourself wrong!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 83
I hear you ! I had 3 periods of 8 days last year and 34 day ones since January 3rd. I went to an AA meeting finally last Thursday and kept going. I'm on day 6 today and I'm going to plough through this. My plan is to go to 2 meetings a day for the next week to "break the spell" in my mind that always makes me fumble at 7 or 8 days. Im lookong at alcohol as a true enemy who is waiting to show up today, tomorrow, the next day: this crucial time when I always fail. I'll be ready this time, with AA, my sponsor, SR, prayer on my knees and the admission of my own clever manipulations. I won't be going to the store alone. I won't be going to restaurants that have bars. I won't be telling myself I can have "just one." My point is, I wasn't prepared before. I didn't have a plan. But I got through Mardi Gras yesterday--a huge day in our family-- drinking iced tea. And I had a wonderful time. A couple of times I was shocked to hear myself at dinner: we were singing, acting goofy, laughing like crazy. And I was sober. I actually got scared a couple of times because I weirdly thought I was drunk. But I wasn't. I was just enjoying life. Imagine That!
We will succeed, one day at a time. But we have to outsmart the alcohol and oursdlves. Lets be ready for the addoction when it comes back this time. And pray for me please during these next few days. I'll pray for you too!<3
We will succeed, one day at a time. But we have to outsmart the alcohol and oursdlves. Lets be ready for the addoction when it comes back this time. And pray for me please during these next few days. I'll pray for you too!<3
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 50
Originally Posted by mandypandy 
Hello Twistedthistle
If you can't fail again, don't fail again
You can get past a week, if you want to. Failure is a state of mind. Did you know that they used to say it was impossible for anyone to run a mile in 3 minutes? No one did it for years, then once the first man did it and proved it wasn't impossible, the 3 minute milers came through thick and fast.
You feel rough now, thats the poison in your system. That'll go. And then you can get on with proving yourself wrong!
If you can't fail again, don't fail again
You can get past a week, if you want to. Failure is a state of mind. Did you know that they used to say it was impossible for anyone to run a mile in 3 minutes? No one did it for years, then once the first man did it and proved it wasn't impossible, the 3 minute milers came through thick and fast.
You feel rough now, thats the poison in your system. That'll go. And then you can get on with proving yourself wrong!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: ireland
Posts: 138
Day 5 and a promise I will get to 30 days
Hi All,
I am on day 5 and mad at my last slip, I want to make a promise to myself and the world that I will not drink for the next 30 days no matter what.If I cant do this I swear its rehab.Lets see.
I am on day 5 and mad at my last slip, I want to make a promise to myself and the world that I will not drink for the next 30 days no matter what.If I cant do this I swear its rehab.Lets see.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 24
Thanks for the support. The last few months have been don't drink for a week then a two-day bender of drinking from morning to night. I know I'm better then this and I'm at the point that I'm worried I just won't wake up one of these times. It's hard I ask my boyfriend to support me and then 2 days later he wants in with a 12 pack or wine. And then he just keeps doing it so it's in my face and every damn time a week later I'm drinking bright and early. I don't want to live like this anymore.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Twistedthistle, welcome 
You can do this, just look around these boards and see all the people doing it. People that all started from the same place you are in. It may sound cheesy, but....believe in yourself ♥
Have a good read around, there is so much valuable information, shared wisdom and support. And keep posting
It sounds like there is a disconnect between what you are saying to your boyfriend and what he is hearing.
Ultimately, it is up to you not to pick up the drink.
Support from loved ones is great, but you may not be able to count on your boyfriend for that.
I have been sober for 3 years and my husband continues to drink everyday. I had to separate my drinking from his, in order to stay sober.
Stick around SR there is lots of help here.
You can do this, just look around these boards and see all the people doing it. People that all started from the same place you are in. It may sound cheesy, but....believe in yourself ♥
Have a good read around, there is so much valuable information, shared wisdom and support. And keep posting
It sounds like there is a disconnect between what you are saying to your boyfriend and what he is hearing.
Ultimately, it is up to you not to pick up the drink.
Support from loved ones is great, but you may not be able to count on your boyfriend for that.
I have been sober for 3 years and my husband continues to drink everyday. I had to separate my drinking from his, in order to stay sober.
Stick around SR
there is lots of help here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 24
Thanks 2ndhandrose.
I don't mean to sound as if I'm blaming him. I know my problem is not his and he as the right to drink. But I've had 2 DUIs done 15days in jail and I am finishing up 75 days on house arrest right now and still have a couple years of probation. So I have just to much riding on this and its hard for me when I feel like it's thrown in my face. It's my freedom and my life that I'm trying to keep.
I don't mean to sound as if I'm blaming him. I know my problem is not his and he as the right to drink. But I've had 2 DUIs done 15days in jail and I am finishing up 75 days on house arrest right now and still have a couple years of probation. So I have just to much riding on this and its hard for me when I feel like it's thrown in my face. It's my freedom and my life that I'm trying to keep.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
I know, not saying you are blaming him, but you will need to factor in that you won't have his support and he will likely bring alcohol home, expecting you to drink with him.
Have you been clear with him, that you don't want to stop for a day or two, rather you mean to stop completely?
Have you been clear with him, that you don't want to stop for a day or two, rather you mean to stop completely?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,391
Hi and welcome Twistedthistle - posting here daily really helped me break that cycle.
It was much harder for me to go back to drinking when I was here every day trying not to drink. I hope you'll find it that way too
D
It was much harder for me to go back to drinking when I was here every day trying not to drink. I hope you'll find it that way too
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 379
Originally Posted by Twistedthistle
Thanks for the support. The last few months have been don't drink for a week then a two-day bender of drinking from morning to night. I know I'm better then this and I'm at the point that I'm worried I just won't wake up one of these times. It's hard I ask my boyfriend to support me and then 2 days later he wants in with a 12 pack or wine. And then he just keeps doing it so it's in my face and every damn time a week later I'm drinking bright and early. I don't want to live like this anymore.
I would speak with your boyfriend about how his drinking around you is making it difficult to quit. Explain how it's caused you to slip up and ask for some temporary changes while you go through the difficult part.
You're in control. Do whatever you need to do in order to reach sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 5
Hi Twistedthistle
I am on Day 2. Had enough anxiety, remorse, self hate, nausea, stomach aches and churning regrets playing over the bits of drunken drama I could remember... I've been in jail overnight, woken up with bruises I don't remember and to a kitchen covered in crap from food I cannot recall cooking. I have ended up in hot tubs with people I just met and said and done things that are so bad the only solution was to move to a different county... yes and my husband was along for all of these rides. I have gone from hating myself to thinking I am crazy and there is no hope for me. Outwardly I look totally normal, fit, healthy even and I am really successful in business. My drunken life is my horrible secret, like the monster child that's locked in the basement.
Hence I joined this place yesterday and will check in to give my quest to break the addiction cycle some kind of structure.
How about we share this journey together?
I am on Day 2. Had enough anxiety, remorse, self hate, nausea, stomach aches and churning regrets playing over the bits of drunken drama I could remember... I've been in jail overnight, woken up with bruises I don't remember and to a kitchen covered in crap from food I cannot recall cooking. I have ended up in hot tubs with people I just met and said and done things that are so bad the only solution was to move to a different county... yes and my husband was along for all of these rides. I have gone from hating myself to thinking I am crazy and there is no hope for me. Outwardly I look totally normal, fit, healthy even and I am really successful in business. My drunken life is my horrible secret, like the monster child that's locked in the basement.
Hence I joined this place yesterday and will check in to give my quest to break the addiction cycle some kind of structure.
How about we share this journey together?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 24
Well day 2. I spoke again with my boyfriend last night about the drinking as he sat there drinking a beer. He says he gets it. He just getting rid of them. We will see. Still sweating out the nastiness and obviously don't feel and 100% yet so right now having the beer here didn't bother me but I know that it will in the next week so hopefully he will support me. I don't care if he wants to drink I just am gonna need a little time in a dry house
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