GirlScreaming

I'm coming off a bender. I avoided people and this place that I knew would help me stop drinking, and I got caught on the cycle of one really drunken night, and then killing the hangover with alcohol only to have another really drunk night, followed by another ugly hangover. Rinse and repeat.

I'm feeling down, but I know it's time to crawl out of this. I know that I can control today and not drink.
I've been writing and working on a recovery plan, and I'm going to look into meetings. I really don't feel ready for meetings, but at this point, I need to do whatever it takes to get sober.

2muchpain

I can totally relate to what you are going through. I'd go through a bender, than wake up shaking, so tell myself I'll just drink a little to take care of the shakes, only to end up drunk again. It's a terrible cycle and one that's really hard to get out of. It can have such a strong grip on you. Making a plan is a great idea. Sometimes that plan requires us to do things that we are uncomfortable with like going to meetings. But I think sometimes it's necessary if we are going to break that cycle. Wishing you well. John

Berrybean

If I'd have waited til I 'felt ready' for meetings I don't suppose I'd have ever gone. All I knew was that BB's way had never worked,and it wasn't likely to start working then or any time. I needed to go find a new way of being. A was to LIVE sober, not just BE sober (just BEing sober was to painful to be sustainable long term).


I hope you decide to just get to a meeting. Any meeting. Asap. And ride the wave of the hope you find there while you learn some new tools for recovery that will equip you for living life on life's term, without feeling the need to drink.

BB

Midwest1981

It sounds like you are determined to make it day 1 and get back on track. Keep that mindset. I hope you feel better soon.

badlands

stay strong on day 1!

lessgravity

I've found that just going to meetings - lurking, not saying anything, maybe not even staying the whole time - can feel good. Can feel like you are starting somewhere.

I'm no expert at all of course. Day 6 after years and years of playing this stupid game.

I just think that meetings aren't as daunting as we sometimes make them out to be.

Stay strong.

Dee74

Welcome back GS - some great advice here btw...

D

Snowydelrico

Better starting your recovery now than in a few decades time.
We learn from our mistakes.
Stay focused.
Good luck

ProfessorD

You really can do it! Once you string together a few days and commit to some kind of a program, it will get so much easier. Glad you came back!

4thegirls

I had 34 day ones and then finally listened and went to a meeting on Thursday. I'm finishing my 5th sober day today. It really is making all the difference. I have worked at home for 20 years and have totally isolated myself from everyone
The last thing on earth I ever would want oi do is go to a meeting with other people. But I was was out of ideas and was going to die, leaving my daughters with no mother. So I went. I've been to four meetings now. Something miraculous has happened at every one. I'm finding that I look forward to going. There's a lot to be said for a room full of people who you don't have to hide from, lie to, act fake with, or be ashamed in front of. A LOT to be said. I mean, there are other people at these meetings who need to focus on going home afterwards without stopping at the liquor store. It's pretty great that we can show up at these meetings and have so many others guarantees to know exactly what we are going through.