angietwin2

For years even though twins, I looked up to her. We were together 24/7 and even had our 6 kids one right after another. Life was great! One day she started withdrawing and I was the only one who seemed to notice. I would say things to family members and they would say no she wouldn't! I started keeping her kids more and more as she would just drop them off and say going to the bank and be gone 5 to 8 hrs at a time. As her husband also started noticing little things well to make a long story short he got a phone call that said she was doing crystal meth. I could never say those words out loud. Never had seen and still haven't ever seen the stuff! All I became to her was a babysitter and a money machine. After dealing with that for a year she got pulled over and they found meth in her car. She went thru the drug rehab program with flying colors and was clean 2 yrs. I was ecstatic. Had my twin sister back! One day I noticed a change, just like before. It was back on harder than before. Her kids were missing school not dressed appropriately and she was never home and lying to her husband as he tried to work to make ends meet. This all coming from a woman who was the best wife and mother ever for the longest! My brother in law held on and held on. He loves her so much! 20 yrs is a long time he was so confused. Anyway at this point she is in jail after being caught with two guys who she was with in her car as they stole guns and sold them. One if the men they sold them to picked her out of a line up being the girl with them st them time. She faces time we don't know how much and pretty much everyone had given up. Her husband finally divorced her and got full custody of their 3 children, which was for the best she didn't even show up to fight that. My heart is broken I help him with the kids and struggle everyday to hear her 10 yr old daughter ask me Annie why is mama like she is and your not? I tell her mama is sick baby and idk what to do about it but we are all going to take care of the three of you so try not to worry ok. Her sons seem to have already given up on her! My heart is broken our lives will never be the same and she really could care less. Plz any advice I literally stay sick to my stomach all the time and at this point am scared of her and the people she is around when she's not in jail. She actually called my husband and asked him to come pay her bond and get her out and he said he couldn't go against my parents decisions then she went off on him. I told him she is manipulating and if you would have said ok you would have been the best thing in the world to her but when you turned around she would have been gone! So sad and lonely for my old best friend!!!

Done4today

Angietwin2,

Sorry for what brings you here. Addicts will stay in their disease until they want to stop more than to continue the chaos and insanity. There is nothing you can do to change her mind. She has chosen the drugs over everything. I would suggest find a support group that can help you to cope. You need to take care of yourself. I am not a twin but I am a older brother to a drug addict. My sister's addiction is to meth and coke. I am an alcoholic and understand addiction. So I have had to separate myself from my sister. I have had minimal contact with her because of her addiction. I have learned to set healthy boundaries and if she doesn't respect them, then we don't see one another. I will never give my sister money, a room in my house, or borrow a vehicle. I will get her a hotel room for a night or two and buy her groceries. She has never took me up on the hotel and food offer, but always wants to sleep in my guest room. She has stolen a lot from all her friends and family. It is very sad and heart breaking to watch a loved one battle addiction. I pray that you find peace for you and your family. Good luck

Berrybean

So, so sad for you and your family.

But you know, this jail time could end up being the thing that saves her life. Plenty of people sign up to recovery programs while in jail. Plenty more find God and resolve to make the most of the new life they find through him when they come out. Prayers of hope to you and yours.

Have you considered NarAnon or AlAnon? It is probably worth looking up the meetings in your area.

BB

Rar

Hi AngieTwin. I can only imagine the pain you're going through. I am a twinless twin now, having lost my twin to a heart attack. I agree with Berrybean in that the jail time could be he best thing happening to her now and potentially save her life, but just wanted to let you know of my support. I wish I could make you feel better. You must be in terrible turmoil and pain. ((HUGS))

PalmerSage

AngieTwin, I am so sorry to read this heartbreaking story. I think your sister's kids are incredibly lucky to have a devoted father, as well as an aunt like you who is supporting them and acting in their best interests. In some ways, it may be better to have her out of their life rather than wreaking havoc and causing constant instability.

As others have said, YOU are the one who needs support here. There is a Friends and Family section of this site, plus multiple in-person support groups (possibly a meth version of Al Anon). If you have access to any type of therapy, it sounds like you should pursue it immediately. Take good care, and I'm hoping for the best for you and your family.