Lia89

Just over 6 weeks ago I was diagnosed with Breast cancer, a chance finding early stages cancer. It was what made me stop and take a step back and make the decision to quit drinking.
Today I am 35 days sober and so far it's been easy because my mind has been so preoccupied with everything else I have had going on, I have undergone a mastectomy plus a lymph clearance. The this week I got my pathology report and things are not as good as we first thought, I'm now looking at a stage 3 cancer waiting to start chemo and then radio therapy and tamoxifen. All I want to do is fall into a bottle and pretend none of this is happening, everyday I don't drink now feels like a miracle.
How do I stay focused?

Babescake

You are a day behind me. I'm finishing day 36. However, my story isn't nearly as profound as yours. I went to rehab for 30 days. I was in a bubble and didn't drink. You faced a major life event and didn't drink. You're still facing it. If you want to beat it, not drinking is a good way to help. Alcohol is poison and won't do your immune system any good. Good luck in your recovery, with cancer AND alcohol.

DontRemember

I can't say whether I'd have a drink/get drunk under those circumstances or not,but the reality is it can't change anything medical wise. Focus on the fight you have in you and getting through this. My thoughts/prayers to you.

ProfessorD

Lia, I am so sorry about you diagnosis.

You do not need to drink. Now more than ever, you should focus on nourishing your health and staying positive. A drink doesn't help anything, even this. (((hugs)))

I wonder if there are online forums for breast cancer survivors/patients you can look into? If SR has worked for you, maybe you can find a similar support system for that. You need and deserve real support, not liquid support which is no help at all.

Berrybean

Firstly, can I say that I'm so sorry to read of your diagnosis. It must be a tough time.

It was at about a month in that I started to find things getting tougher. That is when I reached out here. It was also when I started going to AA meetings.

I found AA meetings to be a place where I could express my feelings without feeling like I might upset those who loved and cared for me. This could be invaluable to you at the moment.

One thing that our addiction does in us is confuse what we want with what we need. At the moment you do not NEED a drink. It will do the opposite of good, as you well know in your logical mind. Any short lived relief will far be outweighed by what will follow. Play the scene forward PAST the drunken oblivion every time you are tempted.

BB

Dee74

Hi Lia

Fear can be very powerful. I imagine that the addictive voice within you is telling you drinking will help you cope, let you check out for a while. I don;t think thats true.

If you start drinking on your fear, where's it going to end...you can't out drink fear I've tried.

It's in your best interests to stay as healthy and as present as you can be. You won;t be alone - we're with you

best wishes and prayers for a good outcome

D

Shebeens

I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. You have a long road ahead of you and trust me alcohol will not help. I am about to reach 3 years after my BC diagnosis and treatment.... it was not an easy road but you can do it. . Surround yourself with other BC patients and it will help a lot. The hardest thing for me was not having anyone who I could truly talk to who understood the mental and physical toll it takes. There are BC online chat rooms and forums like this and they helped me a lot. I gave up drinking for over a year just prior and following my diagnosis/treatment but then started drinking again a year+ ago. I have now been sober 20 days. If you need a friend I’m here...

Gottalife

In my first few weeks of sobriety I met an young woman in AA who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness (other than alcoholism). She was newly sober and seemed to have everything to live for. She was beautiful, smart, and, as it turns out, selfless.

I never knew her well, she was just one of our group. The last time I saw Bindy, she had on a Salvation Army uniform and was off to use her remaining time helping the less fortunate. I suppose she could have got drunk, or maybe she was far enough along with the AA program that that was no longer an option.

If she had, I wouldn't now be writing about how much of an inspiration she was for me and many other young people around AA at the time. She may no longer be with us, but her sobriety and the example she set lives on among us.

I am very sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I Hope you will see Bindy as an example that it is possible to stay sober and live a meaningful life, even in the worst of circumstances.

Zebra1275

I'm sorry to her about your cancer.

I imagine that to have the cancer treatments be the most effective, your body needs to be in the best health possible.

Getting drunk can't help your long term health.

tomsteve

How do I stay focused?

welcome and glad youre here, Lia.
i was diagnosed stage 3 melanoma in 2006- about 11 months or so into recovery. i went through a LOT over the next 2 1/2 years fighting it.
there were quite a few things that kept me focused, one major thing was God. theres a saying: God doesnt give us any more than we can handle.
which i believe, but i believe more in
God doesnt give us anything He hasnt prepared us for."
he helped me get sober. there was absolutely no way i would have faced and fought the cancer if i had still been drinking.
i would have had one huge selfish,self centered pity party if i had still been drinking.
i realized i didnt know crap about treating cancer. my oncologist, on the other hand, was quite experienced,knowledgable, and capable. i decided to let God and the doctors do what they do best and kept my nose out if it.
it wasnt a drink worthy event. it wasnt something a drink would help or heal.


i had quite a few times through it i was full of fear. a wee bit of anger,too- i got sober because i was going to die and now i have a cancer that could very well kill me???? W....T....H!!!!
but i didnt let the fears and anger control my actions- i didnt use them as an excuse to drink.
i had quite a bit of support going on- both face to face and online. there wasnt crap for cancer support where i lived, but i found some great cancer support forums.

Lia, something that seems may help you stay focused is something you typed:
everyday I don't drink now feels like a miracle.

keep posting here- we're here for support,too.

P.S.
i dont think you are NEEDING a drink.
i think your WANTING a drink.
but ya know that wont help,right?

2ndhandrose

Welcome Lia and congrats on 36 days

I was diagnosed with breast cancer 5 years ago. Mine was stage 1 but I chose to have a mastectomy and Tamoxifen. I did not have chemo or radiation but, I have 2 people very close to me, who are currently, both going through each.

I was still drinking at the time and looking back now, I think how much better I would gone through it, had I only been sober.

Life throws so much unexpected stuff at us, for me, sober is the only way to get through.

Your treatment won't be easy, but it is doable. And all the more doable from a sober standpoint.

As someone else mentioned, there are breast cancer message boards, one in particular really helped me. I lived on there as much as I live on SR now

I just want you to know you are not alone

Please continue to post, you have endless support here.