Turning poison into medicine
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: To the left of your other right
Posts: 18
Turning poison into medicine
Hey everyone 
My name is Lauren and I've been clean & sober for two days.
I staged an intervention for myself with a very supportive friend and told my family that I have a drug & alcohol problem. I was a very stealth abuser. Everytime my use became to overt, I would start tapdancing everything back under the rug. My family knew there was a problem somewhere but they didn't expect this. I've had depression in varying degrees for many years and I was always able to use that as an excuse for my addict behavior. It was a very hard meeting but I came away feeling refreshed. I've been lying for too long.
October has been one of the worst months of my life. Although drugs (four years) are just the latest in a long line of compulsive, addictive behavior, I knew that this was the worst it's ever been. I ended October broke, sick, depressed & lonely. Funny thing though, none of that is new to me, but I made a determination that this would be the last time I tried to stay sober alone. I feel like my life has been on hold for a long time and now that feeling makes me feel worse than withdrawal.
I went to my first NA meeting yesterday and plan on going back tonight and again and again and again. All of the members were warm and helpful (just as expected them to be) and, at the end of the meeting, a few members turned to me said "Welcome Home". I almost fell out of my chair. Home has been such a lost concept for so long.
Hoping to get to know all of you better. Let's do this together.
My name is Lauren and I've been clean & sober for two days.
I staged an intervention for myself with a very supportive friend and told my family that I have a drug & alcohol problem. I was a very stealth abuser. Everytime my use became to overt, I would start tapdancing everything back under the rug. My family knew there was a problem somewhere but they didn't expect this. I've had depression in varying degrees for many years and I was always able to use that as an excuse for my addict behavior. It was a very hard meeting but I came away feeling refreshed. I've been lying for too long.
October has been one of the worst months of my life. Although drugs (four years) are just the latest in a long line of compulsive, addictive behavior, I knew that this was the worst it's ever been. I ended October broke, sick, depressed & lonely. Funny thing though, none of that is new to me, but I made a determination that this would be the last time I tried to stay sober alone. I feel like my life has been on hold for a long time and now that feeling makes me feel worse than withdrawal.
I went to my first NA meeting yesterday and plan on going back tonight and again and again and again. All of the members were warm and helpful (just as expected them to be) and, at the end of the meeting, a few members turned to me said "Welcome Home". I almost fell out of my chair. Home has been such a lost concept for so long.
Hoping to get to know all of you better. Let's do this together.
OH SH!T
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: RICHMOND,VIRGINIA-
Posts: 1,655
WELCOME LAUREN,GLAD YOUR HERE. 
MEETINGS ARE A GREAT WAY TO GET A FIRM SUPPORT GROUP.
I HAD TO BE READY TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I WAS ADDICTED
TO DRUGS AND ALCOHOL BEFORE I COULD RECIEVE THE HELP BEING OFFERED.
YOU WILL FIND LOTS OF SUPPORT HERE AS WELL.
GODSPEED..............ted
MEETINGS ARE A GREAT WAY TO GET A FIRM SUPPORT GROUP.
I HAD TO BE READY TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I WAS ADDICTED
TO DRUGS AND ALCOHOL BEFORE I COULD RECIEVE THE HELP BEING OFFERED.
YOU WILL FIND LOTS OF SUPPORT HERE AS WELL.
GODSPEED..............ted
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: To the left of your other right
Posts: 18
Thanks for your support, Ted. I am very fortunate for all the support I'm receiving from so many different sources. I start freaking out because I'm having to be so honest about my life...feeling that I'm not ready for all of this despite my determination. I do know that the fact that it is happening means that I am ready even if I relapse.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Welcome Lauren!
No coincidence you found your way here! Congrats on two days! That's huge! We'll be here along the way and we have a great NA forum as well as online meetings. You can check out the schedule in the Chat Forum. Keep coming back k?
No coincidence you found your way here! Congrats on two days! That's huge! We'll be here along the way and we have a great NA forum as well as online meetings. You can check out the schedule in the Chat Forum. Keep coming back k?
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