Drax

First off, just want to say hello to these forums. Not sure how much or what depth I could bring to these posts. Just wanted to say hellos first and formemost and I guess a questsion I have that has been “eating me” for a year or so, trying to quit the sauce and being a drinker is.. have you ever in a moment of alcoholic euphoria ever realized that this demon or entity or even yourself! Whatever it is has taken over you and you will never ever be able to be yourself again? .. Im realizing it now and its pretty ******* scary (mind my french)... I guess what I’m trying to say is I cant even get “drunk” anymore without it even saying “hey you”re trapped’ you”re ****** forever” which makes me even more depressed and more feeling trapped...

Berrybean

Well, you've made your way here. The first step to making the decision to look past The Problem to find a better solution perhaps? Because you know, alcohol never really was a solution to anything. But for an alcoholic it is cunning and baffling, and we see it as a friend when it is our enemy. We see it as our hope when it is the very thing that obliterates that very thing. We see it as the thing that frees us, when it is the thing that keeps us sucked down in the muck. We think we drink because we are depressed, even though alcohol itself is a depressant. We think we drink because our lives are pants, but our lives are pants because we drink.

There is an answer to our problem, and it's maddeningly simple. Sobriety and Recovery. Simple, but not easy .

BB

Dee74

Welcome Drax
I agree with Berrybean that the solution is simple but not perhaps easy.

I rediscovered the real me hidden under all those years of self abuse.

The support I found here really helped me to begin to believe I could leave drinking behind. I know we can help you too

D

Nonsensical

Have you ever awakened at 10 pm because you passed out in the afternoon. You're gripped with anxiety, but the house is still because everyone else has gone off to bed, but even if they were awake they wouldn't talk to you anyway because you just make them angry and sad. So you start drinking again because for the life of you, you can't think of anything else to do, and you start crying because your life is so pathetic. You're just sitting by yourself, drinking beer between the sobs, hoping you pass out again soon?

That was what chasing that euphoria did for me.

Welcome to SR.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

entropy1964

You aren't trapped, your addiction just wants you to think that. I found that my inner addict tried lots of different tactics to keep me drinking. Probably started with 'you aren't really an alcoholic, not like them. You just need to control it', or 'how will you have 'fun' without me?' or 'just one or two then stop'. Then as I began to fight my addiction more and more 'you deserve to drink because (fill in the blank)' 'you're lonely and bored, I'll help with that'. Then 'you're a loser, no one loves you, may as well drink' 'you'll never be able to stop, just ride off into the sunset with me...' Etc etc.

And I kept drinking and reasoning and rationalizing and feeling sorry for myself. Until things got so bad that it was die or recover.

You can do this. Get help with the physical addiction.

Drax

Thank you all but having recieved my first “email” from sober recovery today and looking back at all their question they asked when signing up.. seems like all this site what is to load us up like cattle to these “beach front” rehabs.. reality is.. majorityof us cant afford this ****....

Berrybean

No, well I don't think you'll find many of us people here posting can afford that either.

Every website has advertising to keep it running. I suppose that's how it can be a free resource for us all. I'd suggest that you just delete the ad email and crack on with the things you CAN do.

BB

Dee74

Hi Drax - you can opt out of the emails.
There should be an unsubscribe link on whatever you were sent.

I've been here for nearly eleven years as a member, and nearly nine as a staff member.

No one is ever forced to do anything they don't want to do here.

I understand your mistrust and caution but its just not that kind of place here.

Most sites and mostly every forum have ads nowadays.

We have no affiliation with any of our sponsors, other than they do help to pay the enormous costs of a site like this.

I have no reason to lie to you - I'm a volunteer here

This place saved my life. It may help you do the same.

Give it a go

D