rich27

After 14 days I broke down and went out on the weekend so I'll have to start over so I'm back at 3 days now.

I felt like I didn't have closure when deciding to try quitting a couple weeks ago. I didn't get a chance to go have drinks with my Dad and let him know I'll be quitting. I don't know if it was psychological but the urge took over. Maybe I wasn't ready to quit just yet.

I'm back to trying again.

doggonecarl

Quitting IS the closure.

Dragging it out is called drinking.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back Rich - we are ready if you are. You get to decide when you want closure on quitting drinking...try not to put conditions on it. Glad you are back.

entropy1964

Congrats on a couple of weeks. So you can definitely do this if you want it.

I didn't get a chance to go have drinks with my Dad and let him know I'll be quitting. I don't know if it was psychological but the urge took over. Maybe I wasn't ready to quit just yet.

Yeah its all psychological (well except the physical part ). I hope you can read that sentence a few dozen times and realize what is essentially wrong....that is pretty much text book addictive thinking. If ya think about it, the logic is, well, insane.

I know I have to rethink everything. Starting drinking, to go drinking, to tell your dad that you quit drinking, but started again so you could tell him you quit, so that you can quit again? Hmmmm.

rich27

It really did begin to get harder and harder by the 10 day mark. I needed something to fill my time on weekends.

Going out for drinks is something my Dad and I always did and he's getting older so I've been spending more time with him at the bar. Now I know that was an excuse to go out but I felt better letting him know I probably wont be out in the bar much anymore.

doggonecarl

Which isn't exactly a definitive statement that you are quitting drinking forever, is it, Rich?

rich27

I tend to say I'm going to "try" to quit. I know it's a commitment but I don't tend to think that far ahead.

16YearsDrunk

Actually it sounds like you are planning ahead. You're planning to fail. If you want to stop you will. Only you are in control of that. It should be definitive. Such as ... I am going to stop drinking alcohol because I'm sick of this sh*t.

The problem with "I am going to try and stop drinking" is you're telling yourself you'll give it some effort but if you fail it's ok because you tried. That's not quite the same as wanting to stop.

Self discipline, self control and self confidence are the ticket out of this hell You've really got to want it like you've never wanted it before.

Just be honest with your Dad. It saves a lot of hassle and problems down the line.

Offthemast

Hmm. Why didn't I think of that? So simple!

I get what you are saying 16 but IME it sometimes takes a few attempts to truly GET IT. I'm still trying to GET IT.

ProfessorD

welcome back, Rich! I understand what you are saying. It's so great that you want to spend quality time with your dad. Imagine how great it would be to spend SOBER time with him instead? Perhaps you can flip your thinking just a bit so you don't feel deprived or like you're missing out To me it sounds like you're ready to make this change and not sure how to adjust the rest of your life to fit your new mindset. But you can figure it out, I'm sure! And soon you'll get those 14 days and much more back

soberista

Welcome back and congratulations for coming here again. You are either working towards recovery or working towards alcoholism. In the world where you listen to the AV there is never a time to quit and always a time to have another drink. I've just seen a post about the kindling effect of addiction. Maybe that's something you could google and have a look at.

Dee74

I spent years going to try to quit.
For me, there was no distinction between that and still drinking.

I get that quitting is hard and that forever is scary.....everyone hopes they can wake up tomorrow a normal drinker but that's not the reality.

In the end if you're a drinker like me, you have to quit, and quit for good.

The timetable for that decision is up to you, but I really recommend sooner or later Rich...

D

TYG2

Rich,
I don't know how many times you've tried or how long you've been an alcoholic but I do know it becomes harder on the brain and organs with each withdrawal. My Dad was a lifelong drinker. He passed in 2015 at 82. I wish he could have seen me living sober. I expect your Dad isn't aware. Maybe have an honest sit down with him. It'll take that one temptation off the table. ???