Started to drink during work....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 1,100
Originally Posted by lessgravity 
Imposter syndrome it is - living such a lie. Did you drink at work?
Such madness indeed. Glad I can say it's behind me.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Originally Posted by TheToddman
Yes. Numerous times at the office. And don't even get me started on how many times I was a little 'ill advised' (read: flirtatious) over instant messenger. I was pretty doggone lucky. Anyway, I'd sneak it in and mix it at my desk. More than once a co-worker suspected me of doing it but there was such a 'bro' culture in our office that people would grab a beer from the fridge after lunch and I'd try to 'blend' in.
Such madness indeed. Glad I can say it's behind me.
Such madness indeed. Glad I can say it's behind me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 1,100
Originally Posted by lessgravity
How long have you been sober? What was your plan?
Rehab. For me it had to happen. 30 days w/o access to alcohol and nothing but recovery 24x7.
Support group meetings. This for me was SMART and AA. Attended meetings pretty much every day for about three months after rehab. Now a little bit more sporadic but need to stay connected IRL with folks who have walked this walk.
Fitness. I worked out every damn day in treatment and have continued that streak. It's almost the predominant force for me in sobriety.
SR. Self explanatory
T.
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Wow lessgravity your OP took me back to a time I thought I'd neatly packed away in the "awful memories do not open" box. My drinking took various patterns over they years but at one time I would drive to work via the store, buy vodka, tip it in my diet coke and sip away all day at work (and often start chugging it down whilst driving there)...... *shudder*
I think the point is that as this thing progresses the world slowly caves in on you until what's left is you, an empty room and a bottle. Addiction sneaks up on you in a really sneaky way and of course we all know where it ends.
Thank goodness you've come back and please do post often and become an active member again. I can sense the desperation in your posts and remember all too well how utterly desperate I was too when I joined.
I don't have any magic answers or fairy dust to sprinkle lessgravity. You know there aren't any. I'd had enough, I was beaten, I was facing losing everything: my health, my children, my sanity and eventually my life.
So I managed one day then another then another. It was HARD to begin with. But slowly and with an absolute bloody minded determination the weeks turned into months. I have 6 months now and hand on heart honest truth I do not crave alcohol. I still work at it. I'm here a lot. I post several times a day. I try in my own little way to help others.
It absolutely CAN be done.
Best to act now before the addiction get hold of you even more.
I wish you well and look forward to seeing more of you around. Maybe check in on the 24 hour thread each day?
Take care xxx
I think the point is that as this thing progresses the world slowly caves in on you until what's left is you, an empty room and a bottle. Addiction sneaks up on you in a really sneaky way and of course we all know where it ends.
Thank goodness you've come back and please do post often and become an active member again. I can sense the desperation in your posts and remember all too well how utterly desperate I was too when I joined.
I don't have any magic answers or fairy dust to sprinkle lessgravity. You know there aren't any. I'd had enough, I was beaten, I was facing losing everything: my health, my children, my sanity and eventually my life.
So I managed one day then another then another. It was HARD to begin with. But slowly and with an absolute bloody minded determination the weeks turned into months. I have 6 months now and hand on heart honest truth I do not crave alcohol. I still work at it. I'm here a lot. I post several times a day. I try in my own little way to help others.
It absolutely CAN be done.
Best to act now before the addiction get hold of you even more.
I wish you well and look forward to seeing more of you around. Maybe check in on the 24 hour thread each day?
Take care xxx
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,491
I'm glad you're back.
It sounds like you know you are an alcoholic. Eating well and eliminating alcohol for a month will help. But,I know for me, I had to do a lot of soul-searching. That resulted in some big lifestyle changes to support my recovery. And, it included getting rid of a few toxic people in my life.
I think it's important for you to work on a plan that will help you to stop drinking and to stay sober.
It sounds like you know you are an alcoholic. Eating well and eliminating alcohol for a month will help. But,I know for me, I had to do a lot of soul-searching. That resulted in some big lifestyle changes to support my recovery. And, it included getting rid of a few toxic people in my life.
I think it's important for you to work on a plan that will help you to stop drinking and to stay sober.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 88
Originally Posted by lessgravity
I'm 40, a NYC lawyer, son from a previous marriage, lovely young wife - been married a year.
I joined SR in 2013 - so it's clear that I continue to struggle and drink. It's so depressing to back and read my old posts.
And now I've started day drinking - 5th of vodka hidden in my briefcase.
The cycle of suffering has me deep in it. Pure anxiety and pain until the booze hits.
I joined SR in 2013 - so it's clear that I continue to struggle and drink. It's so depressing to back and read my old posts.
And now I've started day drinking - 5th of vodka hidden in my briefcase.
The cycle of suffering has me deep in it. Pure anxiety and pain until the booze hits.
It IS depressing to read back on earlier post for me as well. 4 years ago I came here, knowing I had issues. Now I'm back after progressively getting worse. The only thing that would be worse is to have to come back here in another few years, after more alcohol abuse. What a wasted life.
Now we have to get smart, make a plan and starting working on WHY we can't seem to stop. I went to my first AA meeting last night and told my husband everything. I feel so relieved but know that I'm just at the beginning. Emotionally I want this for myself.
Hoping you can find a program or plan that will help you! Please post here as much as you can.
Adventurer
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Tuxedo Park, NY
Posts: 1,101
Good luck my friend. I hope you have a plan after the 30 days are up. I know when I set goals like that all I ever could think about was the finish line and what I was going to drink. I have had many relapses since I decided to get sober but setting goals never worked, taking it one day at a time did.
one day at a time is now 333 for me.
one day at a time is now 333 for me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
I can completely relate to having all the trappings of a successful life, while secretly living in miserable desperation. It is the absolute worst feeling in the world. I'm on day 50 and things are starting to look up.
You may want to think carefully about attacking your diet at the same time you're getting sober. In my experience, it can be too much all at once, you know?
You may want to think carefully about attacking your diet at the same time you're getting sober. In my experience, it can be too much all at once, you know?
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
I'm happy you came back to us, less. You're never alone.
I began taking it to work too. I'd been drinking many years - in the end it was almost 'round the clock. I thought I was so clever - no one would ever know. All the breath mints, eye drops, & pefume couldn't hide the fact that it changed my personality drastically. I thought I was keeping a lid on things - but eventually everyone knew. I'm so glad you're taking action - this is the perfect time to get free of it.
I began taking it to work too. I'd been drinking many years - in the end it was almost 'round the clock. I thought I was so clever - no one would ever know. All the breath mints, eye drops, & pefume couldn't hide the fact that it changed my personality drastically. I thought I was keeping a lid on things - but eventually everyone knew. I'm so glad you're taking action - this is the perfect time to get free of it.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
Originally Posted by ozm8ey
Thats just wrong even if you're an alcoholic. Its like a surgeon doing major surgery on someone while they're drunk, not good 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by lessgravity
I'm 40, a NYC lawyer, son from a previous marriage, lovely young wife - been married a year.
I joined SR in 2013 - so it's clear that I continue to struggle and drink. It's so depressing to back and read my old posts.
And now I've started day drinking - 5th of vodka hidden in my briefcase.
The cycle of suffering has me deep in it. Pure anxiety and pain until the booze hits.
I joined SR in 2013 - so it's clear that I continue to struggle and drink. It's so depressing to back and read my old posts.
And now I've started day drinking - 5th of vodka hidden in my briefcase.
The cycle of suffering has me deep in it. Pure anxiety and pain until the booze hits.
You’re smart enough to observe where this is going....
You don’t have to do it alone, you don’t have to continue to suffer.....
You can make a choice and get off this tragic ride.
Please do it.
Today.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: North Yorkshire UK
Posts: 765
Originally Posted by joandmelandhan
Wow lessgravity your OP took me back to a time I thought I'd neatly packed away in the "awful memories do not open" box. My drinking took various patterns over they years but at one time I would drive to work via the store, buy vodka, tip it in my diet coke and sip away all day at work (and often start chugging it down whilst driving there)...... *shudder*
I think the point is that as this thing progresses the world slowly caves in on you until what's left is you, an empty room and a bottle. Addiction sneaks up on you in a really sneaky way and of course we all know where it ends.
Thank goodness you've come back and please do post often and become an active member again. I can sense the desperation in your posts and remember all too well how utterly desperate I was too when I joined.
I don't have any magic answers or fairy dust to sprinkle lessgravity. You know there aren't any. I'd had enough, I was beaten, I was facing losing everything: my health, my children, my sanity and eventually my life.
So I managed one day then another then another. It was HARD to begin with. But slowly and with an absolute bloody minded determination the weeks turned into months. I have 6 months now and hand on heart honest truth I do not crave alcohol. I still work at it. I'm here a lot. I post several times a day. I try in my own little way to help others.
It absolutely CAN be done.
Best to act now before the addiction get hold of you even more.
I wish you well and look forward to seeing more of you around. Maybe check in on the 24 hour thread each day?
Take care xxx
I think the point is that as this thing progresses the world slowly caves in on you until what's left is you, an empty room and a bottle. Addiction sneaks up on you in a really sneaky way and of course we all know where it ends.
Thank goodness you've come back and please do post often and become an active member again. I can sense the desperation in your posts and remember all too well how utterly desperate I was too when I joined.
I don't have any magic answers or fairy dust to sprinkle lessgravity. You know there aren't any. I'd had enough, I was beaten, I was facing losing everything: my health, my children, my sanity and eventually my life.
So I managed one day then another then another. It was HARD to begin with. But slowly and with an absolute bloody minded determination the weeks turned into months. I have 6 months now and hand on heart honest truth I do not crave alcohol. I still work at it. I'm here a lot. I post several times a day. I try in my own little way to help others.
It absolutely CAN be done.
Best to act now before the addiction get hold of you even more.
I wish you well and look forward to seeing more of you around. Maybe check in on the 24 hour thread each day?
Take care xxx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: North Yorkshire UK
Posts: 765
Originally Posted by sva777
Good luck my friend. I hope you have a plan after the 30 days are up. I know when I set goals like that all I ever could think about was the finish line and what I was going to drink. I have had many relapses since I decided to get sober but setting goals never worked, taking it one day at a time did.
one day at a time is now 333 for me.
one day at a time is now 333 for me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: North Yorkshire UK
Posts: 765
Originally Posted by MindfulMan
What addict cares if it’s wrong to drink at inappropriate times? I was in rehab with a guy who worked as an air traffic controller at a major airport who was overseeing plane takeoffs and landings while whacked out of his gourd on prescription opiates.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by lessgravity
\ I'm going to keep posting, head to some meetings and see my therapist again. Lord knows I need it.
meetings are good, but going to meetings and not drinking dont treat alcoholism.
its the steps we take, not the meetings we make, that treats alcoholism- that helps us recover.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 151
When I was doing a Civil Construction course they tested us for alcohol on the practical days before we start. I think they should do that for all jobs. Too many bad things can happen and innocent lives can be at risk, especially high risk work like construction.
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