Broken
 

my husband hit rock bottom, during that he told me he had been cheating on me since we been together. that's 8yrs. the last time was 2 weeks after we got married. To top it off, one of them was with my Best friend, while I was in the hospital having his son. He cheated on me 16+. I'm lost, broken, I don't know what to do?

I'm really sorry Madlovelily81 - but you';ll find a lot of support and good advice here.

Have you considered marriage counselling at all...or do you feel you're past that point?

D

So sorry for what brings you here. I have no advice, I'm afraid, just support and well wishes. :grouphug:

Welcome and I'm very sorry for your situation.

I hope that you put all your energy into taking care of yourself and your child. You will find lots of support here.

So sorry about your situation. Sending my well wishes and support. ((HUG))

support and encouragement coming your way. I feel for you and hope you can see your way through this. It is not a reflection on you and you did nothing wrong. That kind of behavior is all about him. Be strong.

Hi, Madlove.
Welcome.
Very sorry for what brings you here, but glad you found us.
For the moment, breathe.
Just breathe.
We will deal with everything tomorrow.
Take good care of yourself.

Thank you
 

Thank you so much

Thank you
 

Thank you so much

we did that but I think it wasn't the right one. ever since the last session we haven't gone back.

Thank you
 

Thank you

I try, but I just can't!

Thank you
 

Thank you,

i take it one day at a time.

Thank you
 

Thank you,

It's always about him.
i know i didn't do anything wrong but he sure make a me feel it it was my fault.

Oh dear- I am so sorry about what you are going through. Lean on us, and your support system during this time. Take care of YOU first.

well, here it's about you :)

Like I said, tons of understanding support and advice here, and also in our Family and Friends forums too :)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/#friends-family

D

Can you get professional advice just for you? My uninformed guess is that you’ve enabled him mightily and will need trained and neutral support to reprogram your thinking. You didn’t say...are you sober? Is he?

yes, I was. i should of know better. it didn't register until we went to therapy that I found out I was enabler. yes i am ,he is 6m sober.

Have you decided if you want to stay with him after this confession?

Why did he tell you about all this do you think? To absolve himself of guilt (selfish amends) or because he thought you were going to find out anyway (from your 'friend'? Just to clarify, in AA no good sponsor would suggest making a confession like this, which causes someone else extreme pain. Is he actually working a program of recovery? Being sober is not the same as being in recovery you know.

Have you considered AlAnon for your self? He may not be drinking, but sounds like he still has an addictive mindset and behaviours, so it would be worth reaching out for help with boundary setting for your own sanity (whether you stay with him or not, as he'll still be in your life as babies father regardless).

BB

Really? I didn't know that there's a difference, can you explain to me please. honestly i think he confessed out of selfishness. he even told me that I would of never found out about anything, but like he hit rock bottom and that guilt was taking him back out. yes I have thought about it but don't know where to start for support.

If you have access to a therapist in your area, that would probably be a good place to start. AlAnon would also be a supportive community for you. And, I know you will find lots of support here at SR.

Sober just means we haven't taken a drink. Drink has been removed. There is a void. The alcoholic is restless, irritable, discontent. Often drowning in self-pity and resentments one minute and self-loathing and guilt the next. They feel terrible. Worse than terrible. Either they end up cross-addicting, relapsing, or going mad.
I was in this state for a while. I wanted to die.

In recovery means they've taken alcohol out and are learning to put other, more healthy coping strategies in place. This makes sobriety tolerable and sustainable. Eventually sobriety is comfortable and one day becomes preferable to drinking.

Does that make sense.

It is not only alcoholics who benefit from recovery . Many partners of alcoholics and addicts have recovery programs that help them not get caught up in their alcoholic /addicts faulty thinking and logic. It helps them to set healthy boundaries. It helps them to live a fulfilling life despite their alcoholic / addict. AlAnon. NarAnon. ACoA. AlaTeen. These are all examples of recovery programs specifically for family and partners of alcoholics / addicts (just the ones that sprang to mind as I was typing).

BB