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Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Ireland
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Originally Posted by mandypandy 
Actually, just looked on the local college site. There are some short courses I am interested in,some are free to people on jobseekers. There is a 10 week one in beginners creative writing. If it's not free, it will be £50, which I'm sure I can manage at a push (considering a bottle of whisky costs £11 and I could keep that up for 5-6 days at a time, it is do-able, even if it is a stretch)
Just emailed them to ask when it's starting.
Goals for this week;
Paint the bloody kitchen! I'm sick of looking at it like it is, and I'm sick of dining chairs and kitchen stuff in my bedroom!
Get back into my sewing and design some cushion covers and make them.
Do some essay reading on SMART online
Keep up with the reading William Porter, as it helps.
Keep watching Kev everyday
Things I have to do, things I cannot let people down in;
Today; Babysitting littles at their house tonight. SMART meeting at 1pm in town.
Tuesday; Babysitting my other little all afternoon (my other sons son) as his mammy at uni and my son at work.
Wednesday; Free Day (watch it!!). Might invite my mother over for dinner.
Thursday; Have the littles all day as mammy is going to Poland on business and daddy at work and school and nursery shut
Friday; my son is taking the littles down to my daughters for the weekend and asked if I wanted to go to my with them. I will also ask my other son if my other little, but getting bigger, wants to come.
Just emailed them to ask when it's starting.
Goals for this week;
Paint the bloody kitchen! I'm sick of looking at it like it is, and I'm sick of dining chairs and kitchen stuff in my bedroom!
Get back into my sewing and design some cushion covers and make them.
Do some essay reading on SMART online
Keep up with the reading William Porter, as it helps.
Keep watching Kev everyday
Things I have to do, things I cannot let people down in;
Today; Babysitting littles at their house tonight. SMART meeting at 1pm in town.
Tuesday; Babysitting my other little all afternoon (my other sons son) as his mammy at uni and my son at work.
Wednesday; Free Day (watch it!!). Might invite my mother over for dinner.
Thursday; Have the littles all day as mammy is going to Poland on business and daddy at work and school and nursery shut
Friday; my son is taking the littles down to my daughters for the weekend and asked if I wanted to go to my with them. I will also ask my other son if my other little, but getting bigger, wants to come.
Update my blog. And flipping invite me!
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Serioously though, I am finding it very hard to get started with it properly. The aim of it, is to just put down all the information I have found over the many, many years of trying to kick the drink. So if anyone is struggling, they will be able to find all the information it took me years to gather, in one place.
And to know, there is not a "one size fits all"...and "this worked for me, why isn't it working for you" solution.
I have an absolute ton of stuff. But getting it in order and writing it down, so people who wish have as much information as possible to make their own plan can make sense of it, looks like a colossal feat at the moment!
And to know, there is not a "one size fits all"...and "this worked for me, why isn't it working for you" solution.
I have an absolute ton of stuff. But getting it in order and writing it down, so people who wish have as much information as possible to make their own plan can make sense of it, looks like a colossal feat at the moment!
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
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Good Morning Mandy 
A creative writing course sounds right up your alley. I, and I suspect there are others, (Trohyn), enjoying your daily updates here! You have a very natural way with words. I am a life long lover of writing, but in the last several years of my drinking career, I simply lost it. I couldn't write more than a desperate sentence here and there. When I started writing again, after sobering up, it was like the floodgate to my soul opened up.
And, look at you go, taking driving lessons! I must admit that I took driving lessons when I was 25 or so. I did not like driving, my instructor was shocked when I actually passed the licence test and then I never drove again, save for a couple of times with my best friend. She so wanted to see me discover the freedom that driving gave her. She is still my best friend and is the one coming to visit this week.
It sounds like you are putting a lot of thought into your recovery plan and it all sounds great! For me, I have never done face to face meetings. I am more of a one on one type of person. SR has been enormously helpful to me. (I am often 'fan girling' in my posts, lol!) The different approaches that I have learned here on SR have all resonated with me, in bits and pieces. So, I use the 'take what you like and leave the rest' method, picking from all of the different recovery methods. Works well for me
I am happy to know that you are not alone, as it sounds like your kid's and littles () want to have you active in their lives 
I love the vision of the orderly line up of wee mice, holding their plates, chatting amongst themselves, as they wait for their turn at the buffet
A creative writing course sounds right up your alley. I, and I suspect there are others, (Trohyn), enjoying your daily updates here! You have a very natural way with words. I am a life long lover of writing, but in the last several years of my drinking career, I simply lost it. I couldn't write more than a desperate sentence here and there. When I started writing again, after sobering up, it was like the floodgate to my soul opened up.
And, look at you go, taking driving lessons! I must admit that I took driving lessons when I was 25 or so. I did not like driving, my instructor was shocked when I actually passed the licence test and then I never drove again, save for a couple of times with my best friend. She so wanted to see me discover the freedom that driving gave her. She is still my best friend and is the one coming to visit this week.
It sounds like you are putting a lot of thought into your recovery plan and it all sounds great! For me, I have never done face to face meetings. I am more of a one on one type of person. SR has been enormously helpful to me. (I am often 'fan girling' in my posts, lol!) The different approaches that I have learned here on SR have all resonated with me, in bits and pieces. So, I use the 'take what you like and leave the rest' method, picking from all of the different recovery methods. Works well for me
I am happy to know that you are not alone, as it sounds like your kid's and littles (
) want to have you active in their lives I love the vision of the orderly line up of wee mice, holding their plates, chatting amongst themselves, as they wait for their turn at the buffet
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Thank you for saying so rose, about the writing I mean Sometimes though I enjoy it, it seems lately (since the last almost month long bender) as if things are coming out a bit jumbled to how I mean them, but it's getting a bit better. Totally enjoy putting things down in writing though. Has literally been like that sometimes, things that bug me, I can PUT DOWN after I write them.
I don't feel I even need the FtoF SMART meetings, the stuff is just as effective done alone, just like to get out of the house! Yes, your method does seem to be working very well for you! Independent spirit rose It's been good you have gotton so much from SR to help you.
Oh, the frucking driving lessons, been doing them for months! Have cancelled more than enough of them from being either still drunk off the day before, drunk or hungover.
Did get up to nearly taking my test in my early 20s, but can't remember what happened why I didn't. Since then, I have just been driven about by other people, like the queen of Sheba, admiring the scenery haha. Like your friend though, I do think driving would give me freedom.
I prefer motorbikes to cars anyway. But have had to content with pillion cos I'm very small, so the cc I would be allowed to ride on my own would be about hairdryer strength.
Yes, I'm lucky the kids didn't disown me. They have one rule. Do not visit, ring, text or message when I am drinking. Any other time I am welcome, fair enough
Talking of mice, I found the only gap left in the house today! Every other is sealed off. I know where they come from. The flat upstairs has an attic, the blokie up there told me thats where they come from. These are victorian houses converted into flats so they come down the inside of the walls and there are old chimneys and fireplaces here.
My landlady doesn't own his flat so she won't be able to do anything. Probably only an order from the council pest control could. I'm glad to say their little paper plates would have remained empty last night haha
Have a good one rose
Sometimes though I enjoy it, it seems lately (since the last almost month long bender) as if things are coming out a bit jumbled to how I mean them, but it's getting a bit better. Totally enjoy putting things down in writing though. Has literally been like that sometimes, things that bug me, I can PUT DOWN after I write them.I don't feel I even need the FtoF SMART meetings, the stuff is just as effective done alone, just like to get out of the house! Yes, your method does seem to be working very well for you! Independent spirit rose
It's been good you have gotton so much from SR to help you.Oh, the frucking driving lessons, been doing them for months! Have cancelled more than enough of them from being either still drunk off the day before, drunk or hungover.
Did get up to nearly taking my test in my early 20s, but can't remember what happened why I didn't. Since then, I have just been driven about by other people, like the queen of Sheba, admiring the scenery haha. Like your friend though, I do think driving would give me freedom.
I prefer motorbikes to cars anyway. But have had to content with pillion cos I'm very small, so the cc I would be allowed to ride on my own would be about hairdryer strength.
Yes, I'm lucky the kids didn't disown me. They have one rule. Do not visit, ring, text or message when I am drinking. Any other time I am welcome, fair enough
Talking of mice, I found the only gap left in the house today! Every other is sealed off. I know where they come from. The flat upstairs has an attic, the blokie up there told me thats where they come from. These are victorian houses converted into flats so they come down the inside of the walls and there are old chimneys and fireplaces here.
My landlady doesn't own his flat so she won't be able to do anything. Probably only an order from the council pest control could. I'm glad to say their little paper plates would have remained empty last night haha
Have a good one rose
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Ive just had a dose of karma. One of my daughters rang me, said she rang 3 times on Saturday and couldn't get me, and why didn't I ring her back, this usually happens when I am drinking, and I always say, the phone never rang and no missed calls came up.
I told her, which is true, this time, I had no missed calls on my phone and the phone never rang. She went "hmmm" which means, I don't believe you, but I can't be arsed to argue with you. It's TRUE this time!!!
I didn't even bother to tell her I haven't drank all this time, cos she would just say "hmm"..karma is a b!tch man!
Off to babysit now. Maybe I will get my son to slip it into a conversation with her that I haven't been drinking, cos I was babysitting then
I told her, which is true, this time, I had no missed calls on my phone and the phone never rang. She went "hmmm" which means, I don't believe you, but I can't be arsed to argue with you. It's TRUE this time!!!
I didn't even bother to tell her I haven't drank all this time, cos she would just say "hmm"..karma is a b!tch man!
Off to babysit now. Maybe I will get my son to slip it into a conversation with her that I haven't been drinking, cos I was babysitting then
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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Originally Posted by mandypandy
LJ, thanks for the dancing banana, is it doing the macarena? Ah no, looks like something out of Saturday Night Fever it's doing haha
I am giving it my best shot LJ, I reaaallly want this, thank you for the encouragement
Have a good one
I am giving it my best shot LJ, I reaaallly want this, thank you for the encouragement
Have a good one
And you are most welcome! I think it's great that you are sharing your journey and talking (writing) through the ups and downs, etc. Keep going!
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...with a bit of moonwalking thrown in, good wee dancer that banana haha
Thank you LJ, I find writing stuff down on here as it pops into my head very helpful. I find it relaxing, not relaxing, stress relieving.
Wish I could just chill and knuckle down and write my blog that my son set up for me. Have a real writers block with it..don't know what the difference would be writing there or writing here, just can't seen to get started.
I think it has to do with I want the blog to be just right..perfect. And it's stopping me starting because my concentration still isn't good and getting things organized in my head still isn't easy.
But. again, putting stuff down here helps with that (I think)
Have a good one LJ
Thank you LJ, I find writing stuff down on here as it pops into my head very helpful. I find it relaxing, not relaxing, stress relieving.
Wish I could just chill and knuckle down and write my blog that my son set up for me. Have a real writers block with it..don't know what the difference would be writing there or writing here, just can't seen to get started.
I think it has to do with I want the blog to be just right..perfect. And it's stopping me starting because my concentration still isn't good and getting things organized in my head still isn't easy.
But. again, putting stuff down here helps with that (I think)
Have a good one LJ
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Juustt entered into day 13. Not counting the time spent at the hospital and hospice, this is the longest time not drinking for 2 years. Before this, longest time, in the last 2 years was 8 days.
The longest time EVER since I started having this problem 18 years ago- was 2 months in 2004 after a supervised home detox
Just writing that down is scary in itself
how little I have been able to go between binges!
The longest time EVER since I started having this problem 18 years ago- was 2 months in 2004 after a supervised home detox
Just writing that down is scary in itself
how little I have been able to go between binges!
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Location: 45th Parallel, Michigan
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It's fun realizing that certain numbers have fallen away, fading back into the past. I'm right around eleven months...this time (god I hate using those two words, but they keep me honest.) I hate the implication that there will be another next time of drinking, I guess. Anyway, milestones have come and gone for me over the years; at least I know for sure that I can never feel "cured," since I tossed away eight years sober back in the 90's. And I couldn't even begin to tell you why; I honestly do not remember what the fork I was thinking when I decided to drink again. So that alone is a huge motivation to keep up the vigilance, keep sobriety front and center in my mental headlights.
I hope you don't put too much pressure on yourself to tackle a "proper" blog; I think you're doing a splendid job here with this one, and you're also reaching a lot more people than you even realize. You've already got your public! It's us!
Have a good Tuesday, dear Mandy -- I think your plan is very sound, and I envision great success for your future. Peace and junk,
Arp
I hope you don't put too much pressure on yourself to tackle a "proper" blog; I think you're doing a splendid job here with this one, and you're also reaching a lot more people than you even realize. You've already got your public! It's us!
Have a good Tuesday, dear Mandy -- I think your plan is very sound, and I envision great success for your future. Peace and junk,
Arp
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Arp, you didn't "toss away" those 8 years in the 90's, you lived through them, they were yours and always will be. In time, I won't keep counting days later on, but I remember how long without even trying anyway now since 1st Feb was my first sober day.
You should be glad to be able to say "around 11 months" thats great
I see recovery as having an end, as in I will get myself into the position where I can live my life without alcohol being at the fore front of my thoughts numerous times a day.
But I can never see a time coming when, having been so badly burned from it, I will turn around and think I am "cured" and have another pop at it.
Time will tell ..
Ah Arp, that bloody blog. It's not so much about having an audience This writing here, helps me. With the blog, I just want to help other people have all the information I have found. It's amazing so many people want information, independent information, but don't even know what is out there. Maybe don't even have the time to look.
I thought I knew most everything about the mechanics of alcohol on the brain and the biochemisty involved that has been published to date (as long as it is in "biochemistry for idiots format haha) . Then I read William Porter, and in an instant, the myth that I believed I drank for, was exploded before my eyes and THAT has really helped when thoughts of drinking come into consciousness.
Thank you Arp I really appreciate your perspectives and encouragement
You should be glad to be able to say "around 11 months" thats great
I see recovery as having an end, as in I will get myself into the position where I can live my life without alcohol being at the fore front of my thoughts numerous times a day.
But I can never see a time coming when, having been so badly burned from it, I will turn around and think I am "cured" and have another pop at it.
Time will tell ..
Ah Arp, that bloody blog. It's not so much about having an audience This writing here, helps me. With the blog, I just want to help other people have all the information I have found. It's amazing so many people want information, independent information, but don't even know what is out there. Maybe don't even have the time to look.
I thought I knew most everything about the mechanics of alcohol on the brain and the biochemisty involved that has been published to date (as long as it is in "biochemistry for idiots format haha) . Then I read William Porter, and in an instant, the myth that I believed I drank for, was exploded before my eyes and THAT has really helped when thoughts of drinking come into consciousness.
Thank you Arp I really appreciate your perspectives and encouragement
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I haven't had an urges at all the last couple of days. For that I'm thankful. But even when and if they come, won't make any difference, I'm finished thinking that muck can do anything for me, except bring me to my knees.
So just riding the waves, keeping an eye out for undertows that could drag me in the wrong direction.
Have my oldest grandson coming today. I love being around all the littles. They come and breath life into my soul, and squash cake into my carpet.
They are all mad, off their heads. They make me pictures to hang on my fridge door, so everytime I need something from it, I spend half an hour picking magnets and pictures off the floor after I close it.
This little is 6. Last month, he made me a card, to "make you feel better cos you look sad" He didn't say anything other than that and had made it off his own bat. Touched me so much, I cried for an hour after he left.
I don't see this little as often as the other 2 as he lives a bit further away. But I see him at least once a week.
So just riding the waves, keeping an eye out for undertows that could drag me in the wrong direction.
Have my oldest grandson coming today. I love being around all the littles. They come and breath life into my soul, and squash cake into my carpet.
They are all mad, off their heads. They make me pictures to hang on my fridge door, so everytime I need something from it, I spend half an hour picking magnets and pictures off the floor after I close it.
This little is 6. Last month, he made me a card, to "make you feel better cos you look sad" He didn't say anything other than that and had made it off his own bat. Touched me so much, I cried for an hour after he left.
I don't see this little as often as the other 2 as he lives a bit further away. But I see him at least once a week.
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Oh yes, I forgot, I was telling my son and his wife that if I could scrape the money together, I was going to do the beginners creative writing course at the college. They said they would pay for it, because I do a lot of babysittyng. It's not babysitting if it's your own grandkids! So they said if I wouldn't take the money, I could borrow it and pay them back in installments, so fingers crossed I can get on this course
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Awww Little is not coming. DIL rang, her lecture is cancelled
He can't come away with us at the weekend either, as DIL says they have new plans
But, he can stay Thursday night instead, what am I going to do with myself now?
No getting out of it, I am going to have to start that painting in the kitchen. After I put the oven on for a bit..it's freezing in there
Will take about a week for the paint to dry!
Little is not coming. DIL rang, her lecture is cancelled He can't come away with us at the weekend either, as DIL says they have new plans
But, he can stay Thursday night instead
, what am I going to do with myself now?No getting out of it, I am going to have to start that painting in the kitchen. After I put the oven on for a bit..it's freezing in there
Will take about a week for the paint to dry!
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"But even when and if they come, won't make any difference, I'm finished thinking that muck can do anything for me, except bring me to my knees.
So just riding the waves, keeping an eye out for undertows that could drag me in the wrong direction."
Good Morning Mandy
Hear, hear
I feel the same way!
Sorry, your littles visit was delayed and now you are forced to paint your kitchen
I am getting ready for my best friend's upcoming visit! 2 more sleeps and she will be here. I was hoping our weather would improve for her visit but it is not looking good. But, we have an indoor walkway system called a Plus 15 that connects a lot of the downtown area. So, it is just a matter of getting into the Plus 15 and we can go all over the place.
I haven't heard of William Porter, except for what you have referenced, so I will give him a google later.
I am a bit behind the 8 ball today but love stopping by your thread and seeing what you are getting up to!
(back to the mice, not sure if you know, but I have been told that plugging up any little entry ways with steel wool, stops them. The little buggers can't chew through the steel wool.)
So just riding the waves, keeping an eye out for undertows that could drag me in the wrong direction."
Good Morning Mandy
Hear, hear
I feel the same way!Sorry, your littles visit was delayed and now you are forced to paint your kitchen
I am getting ready for my best friend's upcoming visit! 2 more sleeps and she will be here. I was hoping our weather would improve for her visit but it is not looking good. But, we have an indoor walkway system called a Plus 15 that connects a lot of the downtown area. So, it is just a matter of getting into the Plus 15 and we can go all over the place.
I haven't heard of William Porter, except for what you have referenced, so I will give him a google later.
I am a bit behind the 8 ball today but love stopping by your thread and seeing what you are getting up to!
(back to the mice, not sure if you know, but I have been told that plugging up any little entry ways with steel wool, stops them. The little buggers can't chew through the steel wool.)
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Hawkeye, thank you very much, that is so kind of you to say And I have been motivated into action!
Thanks to the encouraging words of people on this thread ( you know who you are) I have actually rang the college and signed up for the Spring course 17th April it starts. I can't wait, first time in a long time I have had something good to look forward to. 
<<<me in a couple of months haha
And I have been motivated into action!Thanks to the encouraging words of people on this thread ( you know who you are
) I have actually rang the college and signed up for the Spring course 17th April it starts. I can't wait, first time in a long time I have had something good to look forward to. <<<me in a couple of months haha
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Hi rose
Ah, rose, I am excited for you that your friend is coming!
You know what they say "Whether the weather be good or whether the weather be bad ..(can't remember the rest of it !). At least you won't be dependent on good weather, which is a good thing
Yeah, William Porter isn't a Dr or anything, he just compiled all the lastest research he found about alcohol into a book. He has a website, where the first 5 chapters are free. I got the kindle book, it's called "Alcohol Explained"
I knew you would understand and be sympathetic re the painting situation haha
The bloody mice grrr..put some poison in the kitchen and it is gone overnight, so still lurking!!
Yes, I have shoved those spirally metal washing up scrubbers in any holes I find.
My younger son is insane he said "mother, do you know how cruel it is sticking those in the holes? They destroy the mices (is that a word?) teeth and mouths"
???? I'll just let them get in and poison them and let them die slowly that way instead shall I?
Have a good one rose
Ah, rose, I am excited for you that your friend is coming!
You know what they say "Whether the weather be good or whether the weather be bad ..(can't remember the rest of it !). At least you won't be dependent on good weather, which is a good thing
Yeah, William Porter isn't a Dr or anything, he just compiled all the lastest research he found about alcohol into a book. He has a website, where the first 5 chapters are free. I got the kindle book, it's called "Alcohol Explained"
I knew you would understand and be sympathetic re the painting situation
hahaThe bloody mice grrr..put some poison in the kitchen and it is gone overnight, so still lurking!!
Yes, I have shoved those spirally metal washing up scrubbers in any holes I find.
My younger son is insane he said "mother, do you know how cruel it is sticking those in the holes? They destroy the mices (is that a word?) teeth and mouths"
???? I'll just let them get in and poison them and let them die slowly that way instead shall I?
Have a good one rose
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