My first time
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 94
My first time
Hi everyone this is the first time I've ever done anything like this before so I'm a little nervous.
Over the last 20years I've been on medication for depression and I've pretty much drank a bottle of wine or 2 almost every night never ever until 12 days ago when I decided that I wasn't going to buy anymore wine did I realise that I actually was dependent on this wine. I was shocked and scared to say to the least as I had always thought I was in control of it. The reason behind me not buying anymore wine is due to the fact that 70 days ago I quit smoking and I've gained a fair bit of weight, time to shed those extra pounds and the empty calories from the wine and get more active.
I'm struggling dealing with these new emotions that I'm feeling, I get angry I'm so tired I look tired, I'm craving alcohol, I wake up and it's on my mind, I go to work and it's on my mind, when I leave work it is in my head trying to steer me to the nearest off license and I have to fight it until I get home and lock my front door.
I don't go out socialising I'm not very good in social situations, hence why I drank at home. Another reason why I don't drink socially is I have blackouts when I drink and in the past I've done and said things that I'd never do sober .I feel I have a drink problem but I need the opinion of others, the thought of never smoking again doesn't bother me but the thought of never drinking again, that's going to be tough
Thanks for listening xx
Over the last 20years I've been on medication for depression and I've pretty much drank a bottle of wine or 2 almost every night never ever until 12 days ago when I decided that I wasn't going to buy anymore wine did I realise that I actually was dependent on this wine. I was shocked and scared to say to the least as I had always thought I was in control of it. The reason behind me not buying anymore wine is due to the fact that 70 days ago I quit smoking and I've gained a fair bit of weight, time to shed those extra pounds and the empty calories from the wine and get more active.
I'm struggling dealing with these new emotions that I'm feeling, I get angry I'm so tired I look tired, I'm craving alcohol, I wake up and it's on my mind, I go to work and it's on my mind, when I leave work it is in my head trying to steer me to the nearest off license and I have to fight it until I get home and lock my front door.
I don't go out socialising I'm not very good in social situations, hence why I drank at home. Another reason why I don't drink socially is I have blackouts when I drink and in the past I've done and said things that I'd never do sober .I feel I have a drink problem but I need the opinion of others, the thought of never smoking again doesn't bother me but the thought of never drinking again, that's going to be tough
Thanks for listening xx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 350
Hi Jcake
Hearing what you have said. You are indeed an addict. Is that what you want someone else to say!
You must decide it for yourself and admit it to yourself if you want to move forward.
What you are feeling is the damage that you have been doing to your system it is in panic mode because it is not used to operating without.
It might be that you need medical assistance to get you through the first part of detoxifying your body and mind.
You are in the right place for advice as many people have walked the path that you are stepping on to.
You are doing the right thing if you want to have your life back!
Best wishes, Dusty😎
Hearing what you have said. You are indeed an addict. Is that what you want someone else to say!
You must decide it for yourself and admit it to yourself if you want to move forward.
What you are feeling is the damage that you have been doing to your system it is in panic mode because it is not used to operating without.
It might be that you need medical assistance to get you through the first part of detoxifying your body and mind.
You are in the right place for advice as many people have walked the path that you are stepping on to.
You are doing the right thing if you want to have your life back!
Best wishes, Dusty😎
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
It would be a good time to have a chat with your doctor. Now that you have stopped taking the depressant alcohol, it may be cause to review your long term medication plan. In anycase you need to let the doc know precisely what has been happening.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: St.Petersburg, FL.
Posts: 1,077
Welcome, Jaffa. If you think you have a problem with drink you probably do. People who don't have an issue don't obsess over alcohol.
I struggle with depression and definitely drank to self-medicate. I thought I was in control until I suddenly realized I wasn't, and it was terrifying. With the amount you've been drinking you may need help to stop. Seeing a doctor would be a good idea; there are medications that can ease the pain of withdrawal.
I hope you stick around here at SR; this is a great place for advice, support and information and has been a great help in my getting and staying sober. Best wishes on your sober journey.
I struggle with depression and definitely drank to self-medicate. I thought I was in control until I suddenly realized I wasn't, and it was terrifying. With the amount you've been drinking you may need help to stop. Seeing a doctor would be a good idea; there are medications that can ease the pain of withdrawal.
I hope you stick around here at SR; this is a great place for advice, support and information and has been a great help in my getting and staying sober. Best wishes on your sober journey.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 94
Thanks for your message Dusty
I have a lot of alcoholics on my mum's side of the family , they don't work, they are at the pub from when it opens untill it closes, they drink when they wake up, I remember Mum saying to me when I was younger that alcoholism was in the family genes I promised Mum that I'd never be like them
I never did end up like them but the alcohol still found a way to take hold of me
So yes I do want to move forward and have my life back, and I think it's time to come clean about how much I have been drinking
Take care JC 😁
I have a lot of alcoholics on my mum's side of the family , they don't work, they are at the pub from when it opens untill it closes, they drink when they wake up, I remember Mum saying to me when I was younger that alcoholism was in the family genes I promised Mum that I'd never be like them
I never did end up like them but the alcohol still found a way to take hold of me
So yes I do want to move forward and have my life back, and I think it's time to come clean about how much I have been drinking
Take care JC 😁
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 94
I hope you stick around here at SR; this is a great place for advice, support
Thanks Verdantia
Depression and alcohol are a vicious circle if I was feeling particularly emotional about something and needed to release it I would keep drinking until I eventually cried,
I find it hard expressing my emotions when sober, this is something I need to learn to change
I need to speak with my GP and eventually have my meds reviewed as I've been having the dosage increased but the GP is unaware of my drinking..I've been lying to so many people
Take care JC ☺️
Thanks Verdantia
Depression and alcohol are a vicious circle if I was feeling particularly emotional about something and needed to release it I would keep drinking until I eventually cried,
I find it hard expressing my emotions when sober, this is something I need to learn to change
I need to speak with my GP and eventually have my meds reviewed as I've been having the dosage increased but the GP is unaware of my drinking..I've been lying to so many people
Take care JC ☺️
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 94
Originally Posted by Gottalife 
It would be a good time to have a chat with your doctor. Now that you have stopped taking the depressant alcohol, it may be cause to review your long term medication plan. In anycase you need to let the doc know precisely what has been happening.
I'm going to call my GP on Monday x
Take care ,JC😊
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,246
Welcome to SR Jaffa Cake. I think when you quit first the thoughts of forever (at least for me) can be overwhelming and increase the daily obsession. If thats the case it is easier to just take one day at a time. Commit not to drink each day. Maybe post here daily....that can help. Well done on giving up smoking.....thats my next battle!
Best wishes.
Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Wales
Posts: 140
Hi Jaffa cake
It is my first time too
I'm on day 33
You're welcome to check out my posts if any of them help
You'll get better support off others here
they're all very nice
Stick with it ..It's really a very good thing to do
All the best
Dave
It is my first time too
I'm on day 33
You're welcome to check out my posts if any of them help
You'll get better support off others here
they're all very nice
Stick with it ..It's really a very good thing to do
All the best
Dave
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 94
Thanks DS and RF
I think that's the best option, take one day at a time as thinking of the future without alcohol is freaking me out. I'm 48 now and began drinking when I was around 14 or 15
I need to rediscover myself
I love this site I'm so glad I discovered it , knowledge is power
1️⃣3️⃣ Days 👊
JC x
I think that's the best option, take one day at a time as thinking of the future without alcohol is freaking me out. I'm 48 now and began drinking when I was around 14 or 15
I need to rediscover myself
I love this site I'm so glad I discovered it , knowledge is power
1️⃣3️⃣ Days 👊
JC x
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 38
Today is day 14 for me and I still have cravings for wine every afternoon but everything else feels better. When I get the craving for a drink 🍷, I have tea or broth and pull up this site and read, read, read. My water intake has increased 4 fold. I wish you the best! Stay strong! 💪
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 1,100
Welcome!
I can relate to mixing the antideps with drink and yes, not a pretty picture
What you're experiencing is a normal phase of early recovery. I'm glad you're planning on seeing your doc though. SR is a great place to be. Please keep us updated on your progress
I can relate to mixing the antideps with drink and yes, not a pretty picture
What you're experiencing is a normal phase of early recovery. I'm glad you're planning on seeing your doc though. SR is a great place to be. Please keep us updated on your progress
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Hi and welcome Jaffacake - it's pretty normal to be overwhelmed a little by the enormity of what we're doing - I'd take it a day at a time tho ...
at 12 days all I could reasonably do was basically commit to not drinking that day, then the next, then next...it gets easier I promise
D
at 12 days all I could reasonably do was basically commit to not drinking that day, then the next, then next...it gets easier I promise
D
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
It really does get easier the longer you're sober. In early recovery I thought about drinking all the time. But it got better and I thought of it less, and now I never think of it at all.
In early recovery I thought about drinking all the time. But it got better and I thought of it less, and now I never think of it at all. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 94
It's 10.00am here in the UK the sun is shining with highs of 4 degrees
Perfect weather for a nice long walk
I feel fresh this morning before my morning coffee, feels good, still got that little voice in my head telling me to drink he's being quite quiet and easily ignored 👊👊
Hope everyone has a lovely sober Sunday
Take care
🤗🤗🤗
Perfect weather for a nice long walk
I feel fresh this morning before my morning coffee, feels good, still got that little voice in my head telling me to drink he's being quite quiet and easily ignored 👊👊
Hope everyone has a lovely sober Sunday
Take care
🤗🤗🤗
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
My advice is always simple, when in doubt, I listen to Dee.
Here is the thing I learned from Dee that was the most important for ME and may be even more important for you who stopped kind of accidentally, which is such a blessing.
So for ME, it was that abstinence is not control. I learned to abstain by not drinking, and would think after a while, I got this, whats a glass of wine, and then it would start all over, and worse. The Wine B$tch was even loader.
So, the one thing I think I know is that once the voice starts telling you to drink, you cannot drink again. I always say "Never Quit the Decision."
Not to exaggerate, just to avoid that you fall into the "I got this trap."
Enjoy your walk!
Here is the thing I learned from Dee that was the most important for ME and may be even more important for you who stopped kind of accidentally, which is such a blessing.
So for ME, it was that abstinence is not control. I learned to abstain by not drinking, and would think after a while, I got this, whats a glass of wine, and then it would start all over, and worse. The Wine B$tch was even loader.
So, the one thing I think I know is that once the voice starts telling you to drink, you cannot drink again. I always say "Never Quit the Decision."
Not to exaggerate, just to avoid that you fall into the "I got this trap."
Enjoy your walk!
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