My first time
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Join Date: Feb 2018
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Morning SR 🤗
Had a crappy nights sleep last night was tossing turning, having crazy dreams, so I'm a bit tired this morning. But it's fine with me because I know that this is all part of the healing process, and I'm not working today so I can have a sneaky little nap on the settee 😉
I downloaded the 12 steps meditation app and Joe and Charlie's AA book app this morning, not listened to any of it yet so can't comment on whether they are any good or not
Stay safe
1️⃣4️⃣
Had a crappy nights sleep last night was tossing turning, having crazy dreams, so I'm a bit tired this morning. But it's fine with me because I know that this is all part of the healing process, and I'm not working today so I can have a sneaky little nap on the settee 😉
I downloaded the 12 steps meditation app and Joe and Charlie's AA book app this morning, not listened to any of it yet so can't comment on whether they are any good or not
Stay safe
1️⃣4️⃣
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 94
Was pretty proud of myself earlier, called in at my sister's and she offered me a bottle of wine to take home with me and I proudly said no thank you, a couple of weeks ago I would of snapped her hand off for that bottle , a nice hi-5 for me.
I'm really making a conscious effort to eat 3 healthy meals a day, with healthy snacks in between, I've also upped my water intake trying to get at least 2 litres drunk
Mood has been pretty flat today, I wouldn't say I'm feeling miserable and I wouldn't say I'm happy it's a very neutral mood, and I don't really care too much about anything today, I shall just do what I need to do. for this evening, then have a nice early night and see what tomorrow brings .
I'm really making a conscious effort to eat 3 healthy meals a day, with healthy snacks in between, I've also upped my water intake trying to get at least 2 litres drunk
Mood has been pretty flat today, I wouldn't say I'm feeling miserable and I wouldn't say I'm happy it's a very neutral mood, and I don't really care too much about anything today, I shall just do what I need to do. for this evening, then have a nice early night and see what tomorrow brings .
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Join Date: Feb 2018
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Day 17 20.15pm
My day
I was off work today so it was the usual leave the house at 8.00 for the school run come home spend two hours doing housework, washing, ironing etc then 10.30 go to bed set alarm for 14.30 grab a coffee then do the school run.
On the way home from school stop by at the supermarket for food for tonight's dinner. This is my routine almost every day that I'm off work. I like to hide away from people so I can be myself I have literally no time or patience for dealing with people face to face, BUT when I'm at work i am well respected and I am friendly with colleagues and I work hard etc etc and that's because I am not me I am a employee with a job to do
Same goes for when I need to be in Mum role I'm a very good Mum I love my kids and they love me . It is extremely tiring playing a role that doesn't tend to come naturally.
It's very rare that I will leave the house unless I really have to, this was my life before I stopped drinking, so the question is am I just a boring b*****d that should hide away or is it the depression that I thought I had under control.
My day
I was off work today so it was the usual leave the house at 8.00 for the school run come home spend two hours doing housework, washing, ironing etc then 10.30 go to bed set alarm for 14.30 grab a coffee then do the school run.
On the way home from school stop by at the supermarket for food for tonight's dinner. This is my routine almost every day that I'm off work. I like to hide away from people so I can be myself I have literally no time or patience for dealing with people face to face, BUT when I'm at work i am well respected and I am friendly with colleagues and I work hard etc etc and that's because I am not me I am a employee with a job to do
Same goes for when I need to be in Mum role I'm a very good Mum I love my kids and they love me . It is extremely tiring playing a role that doesn't tend to come naturally.
It's very rare that I will leave the house unless I really have to, this was my life before I stopped drinking, so the question is am I just a boring b*****d that should hide away or is it the depression that I thought I had under control.
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Geordie Land
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Hi Jaffacake, I think being a mum to dependent kids is tiring whether it comes naturally or not! Do you feel down, or do you feel content to stay at home? If it makes you happy to not have to deal with people Fto F if you don't have to, I cant see anything wrong in staying away from them on your days off.
Some people are drained being around others too much, myself, I would be (am) unhappy being by myself too much. But, thats because I am alone most of the time. When I had younger kids, a husband and I job, I, like you, thought of my "me" time as very precious. I think you should do what you feel most comfortable with. Good luck
Some people are drained being around others too much, myself, I would be (am) unhappy being by myself too much. But, thats because I am alone most of the time. When I had younger kids, a husband and I job, I, like you, thought of my "me" time as very precious. I think you should do what you feel most comfortable with. Good luck
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Join Date: Apr 2007
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A lot of people do find that a;lcohol was masking some level of depression,. I did.
But, at the same time my moods were all up and down for a while jaffacake..it took me 3 months really to find some consistency of emotions - and some energy.
it really does get better
D
But, at the same time my moods were all up and down for a while jaffacake..it took me 3 months really to find some consistency of emotions - and some energy.
it really does get better
D
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Join Date: Feb 2018
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13.02.18
Just been to my local store stocked up on sparkling water and healthy snacks ,the last 3days I've been terrible for anything sweet I'd finish one thing then I'd be looking for something else it was uncontrollable lol
Today has been much better , whilst waiting to get served I noticed a gentleman in front of myself he was waiting to purchase 6 large bottles of the cheapest cider and 6 packets of crisps, he briefly made eye contact,I smiled and he half smiled back, his eyes were so sad, he looked lost and alone, and as if pain and sorrow followed him wherever he went. I stood thinking is this man where he wants to be spiritually/emotionally at this moment in time or is he searching for a way out of his daily suffering. It made me appreciate that i found the strength to say enough is enough
I wish that man 🌈
Just been to my local store stocked up on sparkling water and healthy snacks ,the last 3days I've been terrible for anything sweet I'd finish one thing then I'd be looking for something else it was uncontrollable lol
Today has been much better , whilst waiting to get served I noticed a gentleman in front of myself he was waiting to purchase 6 large bottles of the cheapest cider and 6 packets of crisps, he briefly made eye contact,I smiled and he half smiled back, his eyes were so sad, he looked lost and alone, and as if pain and sorrow followed him wherever he went. I stood thinking is this man where he wants to be spiritually/emotionally at this moment in time or is he searching for a way out of his daily suffering. It made me appreciate that i found the strength to say enough is enough
I wish that man 🌈
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Posts: 94
Hi peeps I've been carrying out a little experiment lately, I'm not deliberately putting it out there that I a) have depression b) have quit smoking and c) have quit drinking.
But if and when the subject has arisen at work or with family I'm
a) a hero for quitting smoking
b) never had a drink problem to quit
c) don't have depression
Has anyone else ever experienced this?
But if and when the subject has arisen at work or with family I'm
a) a hero for quitting smoking
b) never had a drink problem to quit
c) don't have depression
Has anyone else ever experienced this?
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: North Carolina
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Originally Posted by Jaffacake 
b) never had a drink problem to quit
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Originally Posted by Dee74
Not sure what you mean jaffacake - is this what people are saying about you?
hows the subject coming up if you're not 'putting it out there'?
D
hows the subject coming up if you're not 'putting it out there'?
D
And it just baffles me
Bet I'm still not making sense am I , I know what I mean in my head it just doesn't type the same way 😂😂
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Originally Posted by jaffacake
hi everyone this is the first time i've ever done anything like this before so i'm a little nervous.
Over the last 20years i've been on medication for depression and i've pretty much drank a bottle of wine or 2 almost every night never ever until 12 days ago when i decided that i wasn't going to buy anymore wine did i realise that i actually was dependent on this wine. I was shocked and scared to say to the least as i had always thought i was in control of it. The reason behind me not buying anymore wine is due to the fact that 70 days ago i quit smoking and i've gained a fair bit of weight, time to shed those extra pounds and the empty calories from the wine and get more active.
I'm struggling dealing with these new emotions that i'm feeling, i get angry i'm so tired i look tired, i'm craving alcohol, i wake up and it's on my mind, i go to work and it's on my mind, when i leave work it is in my head trying to steer me to the nearest off license and i have to fight it until i get home and lock my front door.
I don't go out socialising i'm not very good in social situations, hence why i drank at home. Another reason why i don't drink socially is i have blackouts when i drink and in the past i've done and said things that i'd never do sober .i feel i have a drink problem but i need the opinion of others, the thought of never smoking again doesn't bother me but the thought of never drinking again, that's going to be tough
thanks for listening xx
Over the last 20years i've been on medication for depression and i've pretty much drank a bottle of wine or 2 almost every night never ever until 12 days ago when i decided that i wasn't going to buy anymore wine did i realise that i actually was dependent on this wine. I was shocked and scared to say to the least as i had always thought i was in control of it. The reason behind me not buying anymore wine is due to the fact that 70 days ago i quit smoking and i've gained a fair bit of weight, time to shed those extra pounds and the empty calories from the wine and get more active.
I'm struggling dealing with these new emotions that i'm feeling, i get angry i'm so tired i look tired, i'm craving alcohol, i wake up and it's on my mind, i go to work and it's on my mind, when i leave work it is in my head trying to steer me to the nearest off license and i have to fight it until i get home and lock my front door.
I don't go out socialising i'm not very good in social situations, hence why i drank at home. Another reason why i don't drink socially is i have blackouts when i drink and in the past i've done and said things that i'd never do sober .i feel i have a drink problem but i need the opinion of others, the thought of never smoking again doesn't bother me but the thought of never drinking again, that's going to be tough
thanks for listening xx
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,154
Originally Posted by Jaffacake
ever until 12 days ago when I decided that I wasn't going to buy anymore wine did I realise that I actually was dependent on this wine. I was shocked and scared to say to the least as I had always thought I was in control of it.
Well this is a good place to wake up, and a good time to start doing something about it. AA calls it step one, "admitting you are powerless...," but you can think of it as the great awakening.
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