icandothis20

Its funny how the mind works. One minute you absolutely hate alcohol and are like “I hate alcohol I will never drink again.” And then ten minutes later you see old memories on Facebook or see pictures of a vacation and feel nostalgic and wish you hadn’t taken things so far.

I just had a weird trigger.

My dad came into my office and showed me a bunch of pictures of his recent trip to Mexico with his two brothers. My once uncle lives in a small Mexican town and he is the only white man there. He is known as the town drunk, and walks around blacked out all the time. He recently ran over a Mexican drunk. He has also been robbed countless times. Anyways.. I saw them drinking, and blah blah my thoughts go to how I wont ever enjoy that again. All the beaches, and food and beers and fun times basically (the AV says). However, the actuality of it is they all got so drunk, falling down, getting into fights, yelling at each other, pictures of my one uncle looking damn out of it, and even a picture of 1 person with swollen ankles from "being a boozer" as my dad says. And this is what I wish I could partake in, what I am jealous of!? The insanity I tell ya.

On a good note, its 1 month of sobriety on Sunday!

2ndhandrose

Insanity is right

Yay for your upcoming 1 month sober

Dee74

Yep

I was jealous of drinkers too - until I began to experience the joys of being sober.
I wouldn't trade back for the world.

D

anxiousrock

I know the feeling! I am jealous of people that are happy with a couple of drinks. Not those who look like they’re having fun but are blacked out lol. I can do that myself.

least

In early recovery I was envious of people who could drink "responsibly". But after half a year or so, I started really liking my life sober and not being constantly bothered by thoughts of drinking. Not drinking was the new normal and it felt pretty damn good.

D122y

Ican,

I relate. Part of me envies folks that can drink, part of is so happy and proud that I will never drink again.

Sometimes I think when I stop having to work I will drink again. Then I think about how drinking made me sick and weak. I don't like that.

I want to be a non drinker. My son asked me if I thought it was ok for him to just try booze when he gets older or whatever. He knows I was a drunk at his age.

I told him he has to make his own decision. I have given him all the info. I know. I told him that there are some people that can proudly say...I have never ever drank or taken drugs.

To me, being drug free for life is almost the most impressive thing someone can be. Quitting booze for the rest of one's life is pretty impressive as well.

Quitting booze has been the hardest, but most rewarding, thing I have ever accomplished. Rewards are still coming all the time.

For me, I look in the mirror and see an addict. But, i am so much better now. My relationships are all better. Especially, with my wife as son.

Next to God, and myself those 2 relationships are the most important. Booze was poisoning everything.

My step sisters 75 year old father quit drinking 20 years ago. His eyes are bright white, his skin looks amazing. He has an aura about him that radiates amazing.

I want that for my final 40 years or so. I want to radiate amazing.

Thanks.

FreeOwl

Thanks for sharing.

I remember those feelings.

They’re gone now.

Sometimes I feel sad for drinkers.

Sometimes I simply feel nothing about the matter at all... no different, really than people who like raw tomatoes. I don’t.

But jealousy, yearning, feelings of loss? Those are all past.

Keep doing the self work of sobriety and this will be your freedom, too.