Why I drink....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: York County, PA
Posts: 302
I'm like tomsteve in that I tried for years to use the same brain and thought patterns that got me drunk to get me sober. Never worked.
I used to think if I discovered the reasons and why's behind my drinking I could address it and stop. Nope. I drink the way I drink b/c I'm an alcoholic.
I had to go thru a process of radical change to get sober - my thoughts, behavior and actions had to change. And I didn't have the power within me to do it by myself, no amount of willpower would do it. Once I accepted that, and got help I began to change. But it wouldn't have happened without help from outside of me.
I used to think if I discovered the reasons and why's behind my drinking I could address it and stop. Nope. I drink the way I drink b/c I'm an alcoholic.
I had to go thru a process of radical change to get sober - my thoughts, behavior and actions had to change. And I didn't have the power within me to do it by myself, no amount of willpower would do it. Once I accepted that, and got help I began to change. But it wouldn't have happened without help from outside of me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Originally Posted by 02022018 
I think until I can learn to deal better with emotions I will always struggle. I literally take on other people's pain and don't know how to change that. I will watch a sad movie, and I can be depressed about it for days. My son got in trouble in school yesterday and as he talked with me I started feeling his rage and pain. It isn't just my own emotions that I need to contend with.
If you have any questions or want to further this type of conversation, I'd be happy to do so. Send me a message
2/2016
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 582
The guilt, the shame. I know exactly what you mean. You never have to ever feel that way again. I am no longer ashamed. Just don’t drink one day at a time. Forget the drinking socially bs. you and I are past that. You cannot put that Genie back in the bottle. Good luck. post often. this is a great place to read.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 90
I agree - the shame is not worth it. I usually just can't stop at just 1 or 2 - well actually I can when I start eating and it is hunger induced. My dr suggested that I could with therapy - since I also have an eating disorder. When I was young I used food to medicate the feelings. I had to learn to eat normally when I was in recovery for that. The good thing is - I don't need alcohol to live.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
From Ken: I'm like tomsteve in that I tried for years to use the same brain and thought patterns that got me drunk to get me sober. Never worked.
Someone posted here a couple of weeks ago, "Your brain is broken. Don't use it." I like that.
Someone posted here a couple of weeks ago, "Your brain is broken. Don't use it." I like that.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
Originally Posted by 02022018
Ok, I have been trying to stop for YEARS and I mean YEARS. Last night, once again I drank when I shouldn't have and I feel shame - deep deep shame. I want to stop doing this.
As I work through why I drink -
1. Sometimes when I am hungry but no food appeals to me - just alcohol.
2. When I feel angry, upset, etc. I feel very intensely - it often involves my whole body. When I am angry, upset, etc or when I feel stressed or overwhelmed. Put in the mix whenever things are going on with any of my 3 kids that I need to deal with it just puts me over the top. I think any time when I feel like I have no control over the situation. Or, when I feel that I am being judged (which is like all the time) I use it as a way to cope.
I know why but I just feel powerless to change because I just have not found something that helps me cope like alcohol.......
Thoughts?
As I work through why I drink -
1. Sometimes when I am hungry but no food appeals to me - just alcohol.
2. When I feel angry, upset, etc. I feel very intensely - it often involves my whole body. When I am angry, upset, etc or when I feel stressed or overwhelmed. Put in the mix whenever things are going on with any of my 3 kids that I need to deal with it just puts me over the top. I think any time when I feel like I have no control over the situation. Or, when I feel that I am being judged (which is like all the time) I use it as a way to cope.
I know why but I just feel powerless to change because I just have not found something that helps me cope like alcohol.......
Thoughts?
As many here have stated, your list for drinking is not different from ours. We all used alcohol to numb our feelings or try to make ourselves feel happy, able to deal with stress, "normal"... That drink is only a short fix that will ultimately bring more stress, more shame and more pain into our lives.
If living life sober was so bad, none of us would have been successful in permanently removing alcohol from our lives. If it didn't become easier with recovery work and time, no one would have been successful.
You can do this, you just need to choose change and want it more than anything else in your life, make a plan and stick to it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: London
Posts: 40
I don't think I can add anything to the wise and thoughtful replies already given. Just to say, we all have our reasons for why we started drinking initially but the reason why we continue to drink is because we are addicted. Our addiction will always find a reason to drink. Catch 22.
One things for certain, I didn't drink because I liked the taste of the stuff!
Good luck in your journey.
One things for certain, I didn't drink because I liked the taste of the stuff!
Good luck in your journey.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 15
02022018
Hi,
I experienced my emotions and others emotions so intensely that I feared a total emotional and mental collapse if I quit drinking. I thought alcohol was keeping me sane. When I realized I was not only powerless over the choice to drink, had taken a severe beating from the effects of alcohol and could see that I was utterly without hope to do anything about it myself, I accepted help from Alcoholics Anonymous. My future with alcohol became more terrifying than quitting. I am now 40 days sober in the AA program. I have this knowing inside that I am going to be okay that is replacing the fear. It really works. As others said, I would never have figured this out myself with my own thinking. There are 12 steps or actions that you take and sobriety and peace is what you get. It is working for me any many others. Hope you join us. AA.org. Teia
I experienced my emotions and others emotions so intensely that I feared a total emotional and mental collapse if I quit drinking. I thought alcohol was keeping me sane. When I realized I was not only powerless over the choice to drink, had taken a severe beating from the effects of alcohol and could see that I was utterly without hope to do anything about it myself, I accepted help from Alcoholics Anonymous. My future with alcohol became more terrifying than quitting. I am now 40 days sober in the AA program. I have this knowing inside that I am going to be okay that is replacing the fear. It really works. As others said, I would never have figured this out myself with my own thinking. There are 12 steps or actions that you take and sobriety and peace is what you get. It is working for me any many others. Hope you join us. AA.org. Teia
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