Friday night - missing the wine :-(
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 14
Friday night - missing the wine :-(
Help! think Im having a low point. I'm 9 days in.. and feeling sorry for myself this eve.
Guess Im missing that buzz. Hubby has had beers every eve - and the noise of his can opening, and him saying "ahhh" after that first gulp has been tough. Ive sat with bitter lemon and ice, and its been ok.. just Ive never quit totally before - this is a first.
I was having a bottle of wine a night.. and sometimes that would be after 2 pints of cider at the pub! I cant see myself doing that ever again.. but
Is there such a thing as just having a couple glasses at the weekends.. then back to it on the Sunday?
Sorry if this is a stupid post.. just would love a social drink tonight. Missing that :-(
Guess Im missing that buzz. Hubby has had beers every eve - and the noise of his can opening, and him saying "ahhh" after that first gulp has been tough. Ive sat with bitter lemon and ice, and its been ok.. just Ive never quit totally before - this is a first.
I was having a bottle of wine a night.. and sometimes that would be after 2 pints of cider at the pub! I cant see myself doing that ever again.. but
Is there such a thing as just having a couple glasses at the weekends.. then back to it on the Sunday?
Sorry if this is a stupid post.. just would love a social drink tonight. Missing that :-(
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,226
Originally Posted by marshygirl 
Help! think Im having a low point. I'm 9 days in.. and feeling sorry for myself this eve.
Guess Im missing that buzz. Hubby has had beers every eve - and the noise of his can opening, and him saying "ahhh" after that first gulp has been tough. Ive sat with bitter lemon and ice, and its been ok.. just Ive never quit totally before - this is a first.
I was having a bottle of wine a night.. and sometimes that would be after 2 pints of cider at the pub! I cant see myself doing that ever again.. but
Is there such a thing as just having a couple glasses at the weekends.. then back to it on the Sunday?
Sorry if this is a stupid post.. just would love a social drink tonight. Missing that :-(
Guess Im missing that buzz. Hubby has had beers every eve - and the noise of his can opening, and him saying "ahhh" after that first gulp has been tough. Ive sat with bitter lemon and ice, and its been ok.. just Ive never quit totally before - this is a first.
I was having a bottle of wine a night.. and sometimes that would be after 2 pints of cider at the pub! I cant see myself doing that ever again.. but
Is there such a thing as just having a couple glasses at the weekends.. then back to it on the Sunday?
Sorry if this is a stupid post.. just would love a social drink tonight. Missing that :-(
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 366
I think the quick answer is simply "No".
I just don't think anyone who is truly a "social drinker" puts this much time and thought into having "a couple of glasses at the weekend".
The fact that your brain and emotions are obsessing over limits, timing, etc . . . of alcohol consumption kinda means you are a bit out of control over it.
Could you ask your hubby for some support? At least in the early stage he could not drink around you.
Could you change things up? If you are accustom to going to the pub on Friday nights, could you do something different? a movie? a moonlight hike?
Congrats on 9 days. You'll feel so much better when you wake up to your 10th sober day, don't you think?
I just don't think anyone who is truly a "social drinker" puts this much time and thought into having "a couple of glasses at the weekend".
The fact that your brain and emotions are obsessing over limits, timing, etc . . . of alcohol consumption kinda means you are a bit out of control over it.
Could you ask your hubby for some support? At least in the early stage he could not drink around you.
Could you change things up? If you are accustom to going to the pub on Friday nights, could you do something different? a movie? a moonlight hike?
Congrats on 9 days. You'll feel so much better when you wake up to your 10th sober day, don't you think?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
i think most NON-alcoholics don't have a drink socially IN ORDER TO get a buzz on. that's the dichotomy.
you said you were drinking a bottle of wine, or more, a night.
ONE glass now is NOT going to soothe the addiction bubbling inside you......but it's the way the AV gets us to open the door a crack....with the PROMISE of just one........or two. that's all...................
hearing your husband's "ahhhhh" would really drive me bonkers. have you talked to him about that? would he be willing to alter his habit at all to help you feel a bit more comfortable in your own home?
you said you were drinking a bottle of wine, or more, a night.
ONE glass now is NOT going to soothe the addiction bubbling inside you......but it's the way the AV gets us to open the door a crack....with the PROMISE of just one........or two. that's all...................
hearing your husband's "ahhhhh" would really drive me bonkers. have you talked to him about that? would he be willing to alter his habit at all to help you feel a bit more comfortable in your own home?
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,184
Yours is not a stupid post at all marshygirl. I expect most of us problematic drinkers fantasise about being able to have a couple of drinks along with some good conversation. We cannot do that any more. The thing is we probably never did that very often anyway so we are giving up less than we imagine.
You definitely won't be missing the hangover tomorrow morning.
You definitely won't be missing the hangover tomorrow morning.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 366
Originally Posted by saoutchik
Yours is not a stupid post at all marshygirl. I expect most of us problematic drinkers fantasise about being able to have a couple of drinks along with some good conversation. We cannot do that any more. The thing is we probably never did that very often anyway so we are giving up less than we imagine.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 325
“ Is there such a thing as just having a couple glasses at the weekends.. then back to it on the Sunday?“
I’m afraid not, not for those of us in the bottle of wine a night club. I totally get what you mean, I would love to be able to do that, but it is impossible, once the first glass is poured the AV is inside. I know I might do it for a weekend or two, even praise myself for my newly aquired moderation, but a glass would become a bottle and weekends would become week days and the buzz would need more and more booze before it appeared.
You are doing so well, especially having the challenge of someone drinking beside you. Can you talk to your husband about how you are feeling?
9 days is a great achievement and your AV hates that, please don’t let it fool you that weekend drinking is an option.
I’m afraid not, not for those of us in the bottle of wine a night club. I totally get what you mean, I would love to be able to do that, but it is impossible, once the first glass is poured the AV is inside. I know I might do it for a weekend or two, even praise myself for my newly aquired moderation, but a glass would become a bottle and weekends would become week days and the buzz would need more and more booze before it appeared.
You are doing so well, especially having the challenge of someone drinking beside you. Can you talk to your husband about how you are feeling?
9 days is a great achievement and your AV hates that, please don’t let it fool you that weekend drinking is an option.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: East Coast
Posts: 853
I'm so there with you this evening with the cravings. Since what you idealize is the "ah" the beer gives your husband, I'd focus on getting that happy feeling without the life-ruining poison. Or at least that's what I'm trying to do.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: London
Posts: 2,040
Congrats on 9 days marshygirl 💜
You might be missing the 'buzz' but you'll also be missing the poor quality night's sleep tonight, the hangover tomorrow, the dehydration, not doing the things you'd wanted/planned to over the weekend...and the list goes on for most of us...looking at it like that I am happy to forgo the 'buzz' 😉
You might be missing the 'buzz' but you'll also be missing the poor quality night's sleep tonight, the hangover tomorrow, the dehydration, not doing the things you'd wanted/planned to over the weekend...and the list goes on for most of us...looking at it like that I am happy to forgo the 'buzz' 😉
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: ireland
Posts: 138
Is there such a thing as just having a couple glasses at the weekends.. then back to it on Sunday?
To answer this question; you must ask yourself would you need to be posting on an alcohol recovery site if you could drink socially and then stop?
I thought so, until I finally understood that an alcoholic is not just a person on the street with a bottle of wine, it's a person whom cannot stop even though its causing problems in one's life.
STAY STRONG
To answer this question; you must ask yourself would you need to be posting on an alcohol recovery site if you could drink socially and then stop?
I thought so, until I finally understood that an alcoholic is not just a person on the street with a bottle of wine, it's a person whom cannot stop even though its causing problems in one's life.
STAY STRONG
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Hi marshygirl 
You are not the first and you won't be the last to wish to be able to have a social drink.
For me, that ship sailed a long time ago. It is easier for my to accept that I don't drink. Ever. For any reason. No more fighting with it.
My husband drinks every night, so I know that can add an extra layer to things.
Hang on tight to your 9 days and tomorrow we can celebrate day 10 with you!
You will never regret NOT drinking, promise
You are not the first and you won't be the last to wish to be able to have a social drink.
For me, that ship sailed a long time ago. It is easier for my to accept that I don't drink. Ever. For any reason. No more fighting with it.
My husband drinks every night, so I know that can add an extra layer to things.
Hang on tight to your 9 days and tomorrow we can celebrate day 10 with you!
You will never regret NOT drinking, promise
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 568
Originally Posted by marshygirl
Help! think Im having a low point. I'm 9 days in.. and feeling sorry for myself this eve.
Guess Im missing that buzz. Hubby has had beers every eve - and the noise of his can opening, and him saying "ahhh" after that first gulp has been tough. Ive sat with bitter lemon and ice, and its been ok.. just Ive never quit totally before - this is a first.
I was having a bottle of wine a night.. and sometimes that would be after 2 pints of cider at the pub! I cant see myself doing that ever again.. but
Is there such a thing as just having a couple glasses at the weekends.. then back to it on the Sunday?
Sorry if this is a stupid post.. just would love a social drink tonight. Missing that :-(
Guess Im missing that buzz. Hubby has had beers every eve - and the noise of his can opening, and him saying "ahhh" after that first gulp has been tough. Ive sat with bitter lemon and ice, and its been ok.. just Ive never quit totally before - this is a first.
I was having a bottle of wine a night.. and sometimes that would be after 2 pints of cider at the pub! I cant see myself doing that ever again.. but
Is there such a thing as just having a couple glasses at the weekends.. then back to it on the Sunday?
Sorry if this is a stupid post.. just would love a social drink tonight. Missing that :-(
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Hey,
I was never able to moderate my drinking. I tried many times and failed every.single.time.
There is absolutely nothing I miss about drinking, seriously, nothing.
Have you considered a new hobby to keep your hands and mind busy?
I personally picked up painting, I love it! That is when I meditate.
I have a goal to read 2 books a month
I work out, especially when I am frustrated with people or myself.
Blessings,
DC
I was never able to moderate my drinking. I tried many times and failed every.single.time.
There is absolutely nothing I miss about drinking, seriously, nothing.
Have you considered a new hobby to keep your hands and mind busy?
I personally picked up painting, I love it! That is when I meditate.
I have a goal to read 2 books a month
I work out, especially when I am frustrated with people or myself.
Blessings,
DC
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 154
Originally Posted by marshygirl
Help! think Im having a low point. I'm 9 days in.. and feeling sorry for myself this eve.
Guess Im missing that buzz. Hubby has had beers every eve - and the noise of his can opening, and him saying "ahhh" after that first gulp has been tough. Ive sat with bitter lemon and ice, and its been ok.. just Ive never quit totally before - this is a first.
I was having a bottle of wine a night.. and sometimes that would be after 2 pints of cider at the pub! I cant see myself doing that ever again.. but
Is there such a thing as just having a couple glasses at the weekends.. then back to it on the Sunday?
Sorry if this is a stupid post.. just would love a social drink tonight. Missing that :-(
Guess Im missing that buzz. Hubby has had beers every eve - and the noise of his can opening, and him saying "ahhh" after that first gulp has been tough. Ive sat with bitter lemon and ice, and its been ok.. just Ive never quit totally before - this is a first.
I was having a bottle of wine a night.. and sometimes that would be after 2 pints of cider at the pub! I cant see myself doing that ever again.. but
Is there such a thing as just having a couple glasses at the weekends.. then back to it on the Sunday?
Sorry if this is a stupid post.. just would love a social drink tonight. Missing that :-(
The thing is though only you can walk this path, no-body can climb in there with you, nobody can sit beside you and hold your hand to stop you wanting that drink, and even if they could that wouldn't work in the long run either!
Maybe its time to find a hobby to take you away from the pattern, or if this is not viable then try finding a different approach to your evenings, ie reading, writing, sewing, arts, crafts etc.
This site is supportive but at the end of the day everyone can only tell you their own experiences.
I did go down the route you speak of, but strictly only drink a couple of cans when I really want to, I monitor the effects closely and say 'no more' before I get even tipsy!
So far I have drank 4 cans in 3 months, if I had told myself no more ever again it wouldn't of stuck, even then I'm just not bothered with the stuff anymore, its become hard work for me and now makes me feel sick.
Nobody is the same as anyone else, people can only tell you what they do and what worked.
Only you know whether you can control it or not, for me this has become a personal thing with my inner strength!
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 374
Hi
I can relate to your post so much .I like you (and many others LOVED my wine)
I'm on day 38 and have my up great days and my down down days ..
I know I can NEVER drink or pick up another Alcoholic drink EVER again ...
For the reason being I'm an alcoholic
And that one drink would never just be one
Two four six eight till I fell down
I always pityied people who could have just one drink or leave a half a glass of wine behind them I thought they were the sadest people out there ( How stupid was I )
I was the saddo was the freak of the week
Only getting sober made me realize how low I had become
Hour by hour I take it .....
I read Two books a week on my kindle
I enjoy getting up every morning and having my mug of coffee
I enjoy hot chocolate with marshmallows with my daughter
All the simple things I brushed aside when all I had in my head was wine wine and more bloody wine .....My worst enemy
I'm early days but the good days really do out number the bad and the guys on this site are all my super heros
I couldn't have made it this far without them
I wish you every success on your journey and look forward to hearing from you
Much love
Caralara ❤️
I can relate to your post so much .I like you (and many others LOVED my wine)
I'm on day 38 and have my up great days and my down down days ..
I know I can NEVER drink or pick up another Alcoholic drink EVER again ...
For the reason being I'm an alcoholic
And that one drink would never just be one
Two four six eight till I fell down
I always pityied people who could have just one drink or leave a half a glass of wine behind them I thought they were the sadest people out there ( How stupid was I )
I was the saddo was the freak of the week
Only getting sober made me realize how low I had become
Hour by hour I take it .....
I read Two books a week on my kindle
I enjoy getting up every morning and having my mug of coffee
I enjoy hot chocolate with marshmallows with my daughter
All the simple things I brushed aside when all I had in my head was wine wine and more bloody wine .....My worst enemy
I'm early days but the good days really do out number the bad and the guys on this site are all my super heros
I couldn't have made it this far without them
I wish you every success on your journey and look forward to hearing from you
Much love
Caralara ❤️
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Welcome Marshygirl..... Congratulations on your 9 days. You've got the first awful days behind you. My husband drinks in front of me, and getting through that is certainly challenging, but possible. I've tried to moderate and learned after several attempts that I cannot. Hang in there. You'll be glad you did.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Is there such a thing as just having a couple glasses at the weekends.. then back to it on the Sunday?
if YOU could do that, you wouldnt be here.
you may want to revisit the thread ya started on the 25th
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...e-im-here.html (Hi Newbie here.. cant believe Im here..)
if YOU could do that, you wouldnt be here.
you may want to revisit the thread ya started on the 25th
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...e-im-here.html (Hi Newbie here.. cant believe Im here..)
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