Can't go more than 2-3 days

Old 02-02-2018, 06:28 AM
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Unhappy Can't go more than 2-3 days

everybody on this forum

I've been a drinker for about 13 years starting in my early 20's with casual drinking, and no excessive amounts, always social drinking.

The recent 8 years or so however it has become a habit for me.

The recent 5 years it has been even more excessive and escalating (what I think is) due to a family incident, ironically involving alcoholism...

Nowadays I almost only drink alone. Not huge amounts, no liquor, but a fair amount of strong beer. Hangovers are painful and I've called in sick at work numerous times because of it. The last five years I've been drinking almost on a daily basis going only 1-2 days without a drink (usually due to a hangover). My previous relationship ended much due to my everyday drinking. It's bad.

I stupidly started to use marijuana to control my drinking with some luck in the beginning, although now I find that it actually triggers my drinking. So I've stopped that successfully. Although alcohol is another story. I just seem to be able to go on without it.

This time I feel kind of happy because I decided to take a break and have been doing other stuff than drinking the past 3 days. But now I feel bored, anxious, and almost dead inside, nothing in the world interests me. I can only think about getting a beer or two (will most likely end up with considerably more).

So I'm struggling here... What to do? I was hoping to be sober for at least a week, that would be a real accomplishment as I haven't been so for years...

It both saddens me and makes me kind of relieved at the same time that I will probably go and have a drink soon.
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Old 02-02-2018, 06:41 AM
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Welcome to the forums!

You can go more than 2 to 3 days, but you have to be committed to it.
Your post doesn't sound like you have made that commitment yet.

If you are like most of us here and cannot moderate your drinking once you start, then making that commitment to never drink again will be the best thing you will ever do for yourself.

Believe me, you would be better to stop now, then wait as long as I did. It is hard work, but worth the effort. I am sure others will be along shortly with more support. Good Luck!
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Old 02-02-2018, 06:46 AM
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"This time I feel kind of happy because I decided to take a break and have been doing other stuff than drinking the past 3 days. But now I feel bored, anxious, and almost dead inside, nothing in the world interests me. I can only think about getting a beer or two (will most likely end up with considerably more)."

Welcome LoneIslandIce

You have landed in the best place you never wanted to be!

The early days will likely feel like what you have described but the good news is that it will pass and by staying sober, you never have to go through it again!

Please stick around, read some threads, soak up some of the amazing wisdom here at SR.

It won't be easy, but it will be sooooooo worth it
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Old 02-02-2018, 07:35 AM
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Like you, I could never seem to get past 3 days without drinking. I'm now 5 months sober and what made the difference was joining the new class thread, in your case, class of February. It put me together with other people who were just starting their battle and made me accountable.
I also read up on alcoholism, on here and some AA literature (I don't go to AA)
one in particular was very helpful (Living sober) plus I made sure I took note of the HALT triggers, hungry,angry,lonely and tired.
If you want it, you can do it but you have to put sobriety first.
I read and post on here daily and still take it one day at a time.
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Old 02-02-2018, 07:37 AM
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Though I probably drank a bit more, and my consequences were more public than yours, I relate very much to what you have shared. My marijuana Experiment didn't go well because I used it alcoholically which made it very expensive. I couldn't stay sober for more than two or three days and it was also due to the hangover, and often lack of money.

"But now I feel bored, anxious, and almost dead inside, nothing in the world interests me. I can only think about getting a beer or two (will most likely end up with considerably more)."

That was me too. Sobriety was not a pleasant experience. I drank because I was alcoholic and alcohol was my solution to those feelings. I once had a long period (For me) dry, which started ok, but ended with me in absolute misery, unable to function in the world. A drink was the only thing I knew that would fix that. But alcoholism is progressive and things got worse as my solution began to work against me.

The answer for me then, was to find a way of living sober that was satisfying and even rewarding. Much easier to stay dry if it is rewarding to do so. That was the type of solution I found in Alcoholics Anonymous. A new way of living in which alcohol had no place. I haven't wanted or needed a drink in a very long time. Life is just too good without it.
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Old 02-02-2018, 08:07 AM
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I think the fact you are bored and anxious after a few days of sobriety is a sign that you need to start looking for things to do to occupy yourself and bring fun and joy to your life. What do you like to do?
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Old 02-02-2018, 08:10 AM
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I just watched a survival show on TV last night. A guy wandered off from his base camp and got lost. He waited until the next morning to find his way back. He became further lost and repeated this action for several days before he finally came to the conclusion that he was “really lost”. A survival technique that is preached is that when you find yourself lost, stop where you are at right now and rescuers will find you.
Many of us – I can’t say all – have experienced a similar journey into our alcoholic behavior. And like me, many don’t realize it until they are “really lost”. You are already a ways from base camp. Don’t journey any further, stop and be rescued. By posting on this site you are sending out your rescue beacon signal. Stay right where you are.
Another thing, using mj to curb your drinking… I know people who decided to drink beer instead of hard liquor to curb their drinking. I think of that like throwing kerosene onto a fire instead of gasoline. Kerosene may burn more slowly than gasoline, but it will never put out the fire.
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Old 02-02-2018, 08:14 AM
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It all begins with acceptance, accepting one is an alcoholic and for today that alcoholic cannot drink.
If you have not accepted that, I don't think you are ready to stop for more than 3-5 days.
It appears you have had a loss due to drinking, and it is also affecting your job.
Like many others, my recommendation would be to quit altogether. To accept that fact that you can't have a beer, as there are consequences when you drink.

There is a ton of support here if you want it! I really hope you do because the sober life is truly amazing and freeing!
You will find new intersetes
Make new hobbies
Hopefully, make some new sober friends
If AA is your thing, the people in the rooms are usually so welcoming and it is nice to be around people who know what you are going through as most people in our life (who are not alcoholics) have no idea what we are actually going through.

I have NEVER heard someone wake up sober and say "man, this sucks waking up without a hangover" while the drinker usually regrets drinking so much the night before as the feeling they have is terrible.

I hope you stick around, read around the forum. My favorite is the forum with people who have a year or more of sobriety, I want to read what those people have because I want that. I also read the relapse stories because I do not want that for myself, the longer withdrawal, starting over in a sense at day one, not for me.
I love living a life with no regret for what I did the night before
I love not having a hangover
I love the fact that I have found new hobbies and have more time to learn new things
I love that I can speak my mind, with clear intentions and without a hidden agenda
I love that if I am wrong, I promptly admit my wrong and move on to the next thing

I really hope you stay to see what the sober side effects can offer you.

It will not be easy, but I tell ya what... It is so worth it. YOU ARE WORTH IT!

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Old 02-02-2018, 09:49 AM
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So much great advice here already. All I can say is that eventually it WILL stick if you keep showing up here and trying.
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Old 02-02-2018, 10:20 AM
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Welcome, Lone! I assure you that you can stay quit for more than 2-3 days. It's not easy but you can do this.
I drank on a daily basis for a number of years, never hard liquor but 8-12 8% beers/day, and I was able to function until the day I couldn't--I had crossed that line into absolute dependency and things rapidly descended into hell on earth.
I never thought I could quit and decided to drink myself to death. It didn't work--some spark of clarity remained amidst the ruins of my mind and I chose life over death.
I needed help to stop drinking so I went to detox and rehab.
Perhaps you can find things that bring you happiness to fill your time, or a hobby you always wanted to pursue ( I loved to build airplane models when I was a kid and started doing it again when I got sober.) I don't go to AA but am a volunteer docent at a local museum and play bass in the rock band at my church; this keeps me out of trouble and takes my mind off thoughts of drink.
I wish you all the best on your sober journey and I urge you to stick around here--SR has been an enourmous help in my getting and staying sober.
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Old 02-02-2018, 04:55 PM
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Hi LoneIslandIce

Like you I could not go more than 2 or 3 days not drinking and similar to you, I tried alcohol to get me off weed and ended up stuck on both.

This place was a game changer for me.

It helped me to admit I had a problem and to get serious about doing something about it. The support kept me going in the low parts.

Read around post as much as you like, look at what others are doing to stay sober and find a way that makes sense to you

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Old 02-02-2018, 06:35 PM
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Well, for me I couldn't get past a few days without alcohol until I put together a plan that included replacing poor & unhealthy coping skills with good and healthy ones.

Take away my coping mechanism - alcohol - w/out giving me something to replace it with and I am miserable.

Just not drinking wasn't cutting it for me. Are you willing to try something different in your life to stop drinking?
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