new. not drinking tonight
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 11
new. not drinking tonight
Totally new here. Just found this site, and, after reading around a bit, decided to jump in. I'm 46 years old. Had my first drink at 12. Since then, I have been bouncing back and forth between sobriety and drinking. I maintain myself well at work, but I'm usually hung over for the first few hours. But I'm a good actor. Last year, I was diagnosed with hypertension. Runs in the family. Totally changed my diet, started exercising, lost some weight, and my blood pressure improved, but has not gone to normal. Why? You guessed it. I changed everything but the nightly drinks.
I need to get serious about this. I have two great kids, and I want to be around for them. They don't know I drink. I wait until they are in bed. I'm here because I need some accountability. Maybe an online community will help.
I'm about to leave work right now, and I have 1.5 hour drive home to get my head on straight. I've been reading about AVRT, and I will have to keep the addictive voice in check.
My plan is to post here tomorrow morning and announce that I'm waking up sober. As I right this, it is sinking in that I'm going to do this. It feels a bit ominous. But that is the voice/beast, right?
I might come here tonight if I'm having a hard time.
Thank you for listening.
-Muley
I need to get serious about this. I have two great kids, and I want to be around for them. They don't know I drink. I wait until they are in bed. I'm here because I need some accountability. Maybe an online community will help.
I'm about to leave work right now, and I have 1.5 hour drive home to get my head on straight. I've been reading about AVRT, and I will have to keep the addictive voice in check.
My plan is to post here tomorrow morning and announce that I'm waking up sober. As I right this, it is sinking in that I'm going to do this. It feels a bit ominous. But that is the voice/beast, right?
I might come here tonight if I'm having a hard time.
Thank you for listening.
-Muley
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: AZ
Posts: 1,344
Dang, you sound a LOT like me. I’m glad you found this place. It’s amazing; the people are beyond supportive and informative, and yes, the forum does provide some accountability, at least to me I think (I enjoy posting daily to the 24 Hour Recover Connection thread down in the Newcomers Daily Support Threads. You can also join the class of February 2018 in the Newcomers to Recovery section, and bond with some fellow newcomers! Welcome!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,366
Hey Muley! I’ll join you! After I get home from taking my son to basketball practice, I’ll make some hot tea to wind down and then put my littlest one to bed. How about you? What plans do you have tonight?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 11
wow, thanks for the response guys. It helps to know others are out there. Just got home. It was strange because as I was driving I forgot a few times that I am not going to drink tonight and my mind flashed to looking forward to a drink when the kids are in bed. Had to adjust and remind myself what I am doing.Plans for to tonight, well I'm going to help the kids with homework after dinner then just relax. It is after they go to bed that I will have to stay focused and just go to bed and stay firm in my decision. No late-night runs to the store.
I do hope this gets easier. I can hear the voice trying to tell me that I will have trouble sleeping if I don't drink and I have to work tomorrow. Total BS, I have to remind myself.
Thanks again for the support. It means a lot.
I do hope this gets easier. I can hear the voice trying to tell me that I will have trouble sleeping if I don't drink and I have to work tomorrow. Total BS, I have to remind myself.
Thanks again for the support. It means a lot.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Melbourne Beach, FL
Posts: 253
It is a bit ominous, isn't it? Wondering if you can actually stay sober. You can. Thinking about giving up something so familiar in your life is scary, but it's your AV talking and telling you that you don't have to. I tell my beast to shut the hell up and it works for me. Don't back down and let it control you. You have more power than you think.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Great to meet you, Muley! I love your determination & enthusiasm for a new, sober life.
You're never alone - the lights are always on here - and we understand what you're going through. You can do this.
You're never alone - the lights are always on here - and we understand what you're going through. You can do this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 11
I feel anxious, guys. I used to wrestle when I was younger, and, going into tonight I feel like a big match awaits me, in the dark. There is an opponent out there, one of us will win, the other will lose. Who will win? The one who wants it more will win. F*&$ you booze. You're not taking me down tonight.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: AZ
Posts: 1,344
Originally Posted by MuleyGraves 
I feel anxious, guys. I used to wrestle when I was younger, and, going into tonight I feel like a big match awaits me, in the dark. There is an opponent out there, one of us will win, the other will lose. Who will win? The one who wants it more will win. F*&$ you booze. You're not taking me down tonight.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: North East Scotland
Posts: 487
Hi Muley
The AV shouts very loud.....I'm on day 6 - and it's ever so slightly starting to quiet now.
I was the same ..... bottle of red after kids were in bed ..... it was all I could think about all day ..... couldn't wait to sit down with my friend. Woke up in the morning feeling awful / hungover / guilt / shame ...... vowed I wouldn't drink that night ...... but once the hangover lifted, I started looking forward to my bottle of red that night .....
That was it - every single day - drink / rinse / repeat .....
Hang in there - you can do this. SR is a brilliant site - and the folks here are amazing.
Sending you big hugs.
xxx
The AV shouts very loud.....I'm on day 6 - and it's ever so slightly starting to quiet now.
I was the same ..... bottle of red after kids were in bed ..... it was all I could think about all day ..... couldn't wait to sit down with my friend. Woke up in the morning feeling awful / hungover / guilt / shame ...... vowed I wouldn't drink that night ...... but once the hangover lifted, I started looking forward to my bottle of red that night .....
That was it - every single day - drink / rinse / repeat .....
Hang in there - you can do this. SR is a brilliant site - and the folks here are amazing.
Sending you big hugs.
xxx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 40
Dude...in right there with you(!)
46. Drank from 12 on...
Only dif, I spun totally out of control. Lost my daughter, and damn near my life.
Don't go there(!).
I'm three years out of it, but it's a daily thing. Just keep your eye on the prize, and it really does get better.
Go for It!
Dirk
46. Drank from 12 on...
Only dif, I spun totally out of control. Lost my daughter, and damn near my life.
Don't go there(!).
I'm three years out of it, but it's a daily thing. Just keep your eye on the prize, and it really does get better.
Go for It!
Dirk
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