Stew1984

Hi, I appreciate those who are thinking about me, I do not want anyone to worry.

I feel I’m at a dead end in that the main advice I get is go to rehab

I acknowledge the problem, I just get frustrated with people pitching in as if they have the answers and it’s usually rehab.

Not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me, drinking is a problem right now. I’ve acknowledged that.

Not much value in me posting until I’m fully committed. Creating pressure does not seem to help. I just get frustrated with that.

I’m not in the depths of despair, I have good family and connections. I acknowledge I have a problem. I have to find my own answers and solution to this issue

Thanks to those who’ve been so kind and understanding. I don’t take this situation lightly and I appreciate the forum and the support.

I’m alright though. Stewy 🙂

Dee74

The solution is stop drinking Stewy.

If you've tried doing that yourself and you've not stopped drinking, the only way forward is to look for other ways to stop.

If rehab is not an option for you, for whatever reason, what other things could be an option?

AA meetings or meetings run by other recovery groups?

counselling?
your Dr?

I realise you're in the UK and seeing a Dr or a counsellor may take a while - but thats no reason to sit back and drink til then.

Last time you posted that you were determined to get to grips with this.

Getting to grips for you looks like it means bringing in outside help, and doing some things you might not want to do - but you'll look back on & thank yourself for later.

D

AnvilheadII

I acknowledge the problem, I just get frustrated with people pitching in as if they have the answers and it’s usually rehab.

well, here on SR there are a LOT of people who have been EXACTLY where you are and have FOUND solutions. in prior posts you have claimed utter despair, admission that your drinking is out of control, and many many inquiries about "what to DO" about your problem. when one has exhausted all the "do it yourself" methods, has resistance to other methods and still can't stop on their own, treatment IS a natural suggestion.

can you advise what else you might prefer to hear?

doggonecarl

Agreed. The solution is within you. However, that statement is at odds with the one you made about not being fully committed to sobriety:

"Not much value in me posting until I’m fully committed"

The alcoholic who isn't committed to sobriety is committed to drinking. Hope you can reverse that.

ScottFromWI

What's it gonna take to get you committed Stewy? As other have mentioned we've been down this road before. You've threatened to leave because you were not getting the advice you wanted to hear, and you even closed your account and opened another one. Do you think that's helpful for you?

I'm not going to recommend anything but I will ask you this...and it's a question you don't need to answer publicly...just answer to yourself. Can you honestly look in the mirror and tell yourself that things are OK like you say in your post today? Or how about your daughter...could you look her in the eye and say that you are doing everything possible to solve your alcohol problem?

wildflower70

Hi Stewy,
I'm not going to give advise or suggestions for rehab. I'm going to extend my empathy, compassion, and friendship. I am struggling too, and I hear your frustrations. Maybe we would both benefit from just talking here, and try to get this crap out in the open. Crap= daily stuff that leads us to these choices.
wildflower70

CreativeThinker

Hey Stew! Wassup buddy? All I can say is you know how to make it happen. It's just a matter of when you want to make the commitment to really change your life for good. Try to remember how great you felt when you had 2.5 yrs of sobriety. Sending you lots of hugs buddy!

CT

least

Rehab is generally advised when someone is at a dead end.

SoberLeigh

Glad to hear from you, Stewy.

It truly seems that a really major change needs to be made in the way you are trying to achieve sobriety. An all-out commitment to a proactive course of 'treatment' seems vitally necessary.

How about committing to a 90 in 90 AA? How about finding a sponsor and working the Steps?

Above all, don't buy alcohol and don't drink it no matter what!

We care about you, Stewy.

Ken0331

I exhausted all of Ken's plans trying to get sober. None of them stuck, and I continued to sink further in my alcoholism. Thought I'd distract myself; made firm and unyielding commitments to myself - b/c at that point I had almost no one left in my life; saw a therapist - but wasn't ready to get honest yet - so that failed; and countless other stuff Ken was willing to do.

But I did not want help from AA or rehab.

Turns out that's exactly what I needed. I learned about myself in rehab, the disease, and what actions I needed to take to recover and how to make a recovery plan. I couldn't have done it on my own. Kinda like asking a virgin what sex is like, when the only experience they have is the distorted crap from XXX movies.

I had no clue. I didn't even know that I didn't know. I was unconsciously incompetent about what it would take to live sober and begin recovery. And in rehab I found out how clueless I was, and how incredibly short-sighted my vision was when it came to not drinking.


So, who's telling you that you need rehab? People in real life, or other recovering alkies and druggies - like us here?


BTW - why are you starting all your threads in Newcomer when it seems you've got a LOT of prior history here?

Caralara144

I'm new here
And I would listen to these people
They are awesome
And have helped me big time
I'm on day 37
But without this site I wouldn't have made it this far

Good luck to you I really hope you find your way through this
There is light at the end of the tunnel
But you have to find it
Caralara

tomsteve

theres a saying
your eyes may sparkle and your teeth may glitter but you cant ******** an old bull******
apparently you havent realized theres a few thousand old bull****** here.

youre at a dead end.
you have to find your own answerandsolution.
youre not in the depths of dispair.


AND
youre blaming the people here for a whole lot WE arent causing.you are blaming us for YOUR choices.
we wont accept responsibility.

you get frustrated with the rehab advise because your still in denial- your frustrations on you-not us.
THOUSANDS of suggestions given to you over the years and user names.
remind us which ones have you FOLLOWED THROUGH with,please?

its on you stew. you can try and blame the people that have reached out over the years, but none of us are gonna accept responsibility or accountability for your frustrations.
ya know, all that time youve wasted being frustrated- hasnt been bothering us at all. only been hurtin yourself with it.

Dee74

Just a reminder folks. This the Newcomers forum, not fight club.

Dee
Moderator
SR

August252015

Good comments above....

Stewy, beyond what we have offered - what is it that you think WOULD help? That was a hard question for me to answer when I was asked.

Turns out, I tried everything i could that I thought of .... and finally had to quit.

Best to you - hope you decide to give something(s) suggested here a shot. If what we are doing isn't working, what's the harm in trying something .... totally different?

FreeOwl

well....

I hope you become committed to sobriety sooner than later.

We’re here for you to help support you when you want it.

Ken0331

I dug out my notebook from rehab, where I spent a lot of time reflecting upon my life and journaling. I'll share with you a portion of it -
This was me talking to myself those first couple weeks, when I thought the things I was hearing about what I needed to do to recover didn't make sense, or might not apply to me.


I hope maybe that might help. We've been where you are.

SoberLeigh

Stewy?

SoberLeigh

Hope you check-in soon, Stewy!

Delilah1

H Stewey,

Hope you decide to check back in, and fully commit to sobriety.