Lostnconfu

Hi everyone. I'm super hurt and lost. Just trying to reach out I guess. I have been with the same man for 2 years. He always drank. I do not as I don't care for alcohol. He and I are best friends. We love each other. He drank but was never too crazy. He was working and able to function. We bot took leave from work around February last year and that's was when his drinking became more excessive. When he had nothing to do during the day. We transitioned into new careers in March. We were happy. Rarely argued. As time went on though, he started missing work. Was obviously drunk at work and was terminated when he refused to take a BAC level test. I blamed the job for a long time. Honestly, he was at fault. He didn't find a job and was just drinking. Always. In July, he began to have problems with his legs and feet being in pain. We went to the ER. And he was admitted with a severe infection and neuropathy. He had to be medically detoxed since his body is so dependent on alcohol. I stayed with him all 5 days over night. Bathed him. He was too weak on his own. Called into work to be with him. He got out and stopped drinking for 4 months. Sobriety excited him. He started working out twice a day and said he would never go back. I, of course paid all of the bills and really didn't complain because he was sober. It was greatly. I paid for him to get his license back. Bought him all new clothes and shoes and watches because I wanted his outside to reflect his new inside. I bought a new car. Gave him my old car. Because he wanted to drive for Uber. I made sure he was set up to be successful. Anyway, around this time he relapsed. And it was like something inside of him clicked. He began embarrassing me in restaurants by calling botched and stupid. He would call me fat ass at home. Scream and yell. So I asked him to go to AA with me. He made every excuse not to. Even at one point saying he was going but st the last moment refusing to get in the car because I was "bothering him". So, I went to alanon that night
When ii came back to the house, he had barricaded the door with a chair and told me to leave. He then called the police on me. When they got there, he was upset I wouldn't leave. Tried to flinch if I took a step close to him and told the police i was depressed and crazy. I explained what happened to the officers. They knew he was drunk. He reeked of whiskey. I decided to leave that night though we had never slept apart. Checked myself into a hotel. He has since called the police on me several times. And one night while i was sleeping, he took my keys out of my bag. When I came home, I couldn't get in. That was 2 weeks ago. He called his family and LIED on me, blatantly. He called the police on me last Monday. Saying I was stalking him and couldn't accept our breakup. I had no idea. Tuesday we talked on the phone just fine and reaffirmed that we are together. He was just struggling. He blamed me for his children knowing he is an alcoholic. When they knew that before I existed. Wednesday he called me for money. Friday I saw him and he was acting crazy. But told me he needed me to come upstairs and to be with him and told me go come back Friday night. I did. He ignored my calls and when he finally answered it was to tell me he wasn't there but I vould have a happy life and he was "gonna ley me go now". I waited in the car but he never showed. I called him a million yimes Saturday because all of my work clothes ate in the house. I need them. I've been rotating 2 outfits. Saturday I text him and told him I was calling the police and my uncle as I needed my things. His sister called me shortly after that text, I missed her call and then blocked me. Idk why as I haven't spoken to her in weeks. Months actually. Sunday I called the police to meet me at the home to get my things and that's when i found out about the report he did on Monday. He has also blocked me from calling. Idk why. He will NOT give me my clothes. At all. I'm not sure why! Idk what to do. And keep in mind, he drinks morning and night. Half a gallon of whiskey a day. He isn't ever sober. He has convinced everyone that I'm crazy and unstable. His family. The police. I've done EVERYTHING for him. He isn't even working. He just lays there and drinks. He is 2 months behind on rent that I paid and got money from me last Weds. Even though he made the report on Monday. It's like he's lost his mind. Completely. He has become cruel and vicious. He claimed he wanted to go to therapy with me because I'm having mental probs. I work. Paid my bills and his. I don't have a problem. I don't even drink. I'm going crazy trying to understand what's happening. Why won't he give me my clothes? How did he stop loving me like this? What's happening???

TYG2

Oh honey, Go to Friends and Family Forum.....They will help you there, honestly. I'll pray for you but as an alcoholic I can only say you're a saint. I've lost everyone to this addiction. And I'm a mean drunk. But 35 days sober. I had to quit. I pray the moment arrives for him too.
God Bless.

Dee74

hi and welcome Lostnconfu

I'm sorry for what brings you here but seeing as you are a newcomer let me reassure you you're very welcome in this forum .

Its hard to say what he's thinking at the moment - he sounds deep in the throes of his addiction. Perhaps he's unable to shoulder responsibility himself so it's all your fault?

I don't know how the clothes fit in to that but there's there's no logic involved with this level of addiction.

He may one day wake up and have a window of clairty - I did...or he may not.

I hope you can get all your property back and move on.
You definitely deserve better than what you're getting here.

D