9 days sober
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 99
9 days sober
Hi all,
As the title states, I am fairly fresh into trying to become and remain sober. I stumbled across this site and after reading just a little I felt compelled to register, I can see this site or rather the members of it will become very helpful to me.
As a little background, I started drinking from around 14/15 in the UK. Stuffed up school and managed to kick it for five years from 2004 - 2009. Why I ever decided to pick up that pint (I remember so vividly) I will never know or forget. Fool.
I recently lost the girl of my dreams and I suppose that is relatively common for new members to join the forum.
Despite holding down a good job, it involves travel and for some reason when I would drink past a certain amount, I would call my former girl and get emotional. I would tell her "Im going to let you down" things along those lines. I never remember due to blackouts.
Due to the line of work I am in, I have been given help and flown back to my base which is good but also hard. The girl is also on the base and after speaking to her in person wednesday just gone, it is clear she wants to move forward without me.
Yes, it was a wake up call. I never fully took her seriously that 'there would come a time and she would reach a point'. Well, she reached that point.
I am here for me, if the girl comes back in the future I would be made up but I simply need to stop trying to sabotage my life.
Anyway, good to be here and thanks for reading.
As the title states, I am fairly fresh into trying to become and remain sober. I stumbled across this site and after reading just a little I felt compelled to register, I can see this site or rather the members of it will become very helpful to me.
As a little background, I started drinking from around 14/15 in the UK. Stuffed up school and managed to kick it for five years from 2004 - 2009. Why I ever decided to pick up that pint (I remember so vividly) I will never know or forget. Fool.
I recently lost the girl of my dreams and I suppose that is relatively common for new members to join the forum.
Despite holding down a good job, it involves travel and for some reason when I would drink past a certain amount, I would call my former girl and get emotional. I would tell her "Im going to let you down" things along those lines. I never remember due to blackouts.
Due to the line of work I am in, I have been given help and flown back to my base which is good but also hard. The girl is also on the base and after speaking to her in person wednesday just gone, it is clear she wants to move forward without me.
Yes, it was a wake up call. I never fully took her seriously that 'there would come a time and she would reach a point'. Well, she reached that point.
I am here for me, if the girl comes back in the future I would be made up but I simply need to stop trying to sabotage my life.
Anyway, good to be here and thanks for reading.
Hi Kejun,
My whole world is upside down. I lost my job, my boyfriend whom I lived with of 11 years-we were engaged but of course he wasn't keen on going through with it. I just wanted to give you some encouragement because I know how you feel. I am glad you are here for yourself. I am at that point. Over the last 11 years I have been trying to get sober. The boyfriend has broken up with me so many times-heart ripped out-get sober for 3 months boyfriend came back and I thought was all ok. So maybe once you clear your head , self care and sobriety who knows what the future brings. I know it so hard when your in the middle of all the hurt. Day 9 is awesome I bet you feel better physically. Glad the base of your job is getting you the help and support you need. I know if you stay sober you will find your self in such a better place . I wish you the best. Keep going . Checking in there is a lot of support on these boards..
My whole world is upside down. I lost my job, my boyfriend whom I lived with of 11 years-we were engaged but of course he wasn't keen on going through with it. I just wanted to give you some encouragement because I know how you feel. I am glad you are here for yourself. I am at that point. Over the last 11 years I have been trying to get sober. The boyfriend has broken up with me so many times-heart ripped out-get sober for 3 months boyfriend came back and I thought was all ok. So maybe once you clear your head , self care and sobriety who knows what the future brings. I know it so hard when your in the middle of all the hurt. Day 9 is awesome I bet you feel better physically. Glad the base of your job is getting you the help and support you need. I know if you stay sober you will find your self in such a better place . I wish you the best. Keep going . Checking in there is a lot of support on these boards..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 99
Thank you faith
It is the most important thing to me - getting and staying sober. As much as I was all for deluding myself in regards to not being an alcoholic, I have finally faced the truth that I am and need help.
I have been running the last three days and eating healthily also. Doing everything right so far - I think. And trying to take one step at a time, one day at a time.
In truth, I recognise that the girl leaving (for the second time in 4 months) is probably for the best. As much as I hate writing that let alone reading over those words.
I know she will be hurting as well. Just doing me for the time being - what else can I do?!
It is the most important thing to me - getting and staying sober. As much as I was all for deluding myself in regards to not being an alcoholic, I have finally faced the truth that I am and need help.
I have been running the last three days and eating healthily also. Doing everything right so far - I think. And trying to take one step at a time, one day at a time.
In truth, I recognise that the girl leaving (for the second time in 4 months) is probably for the best. As much as I hate writing that let alone reading over those words.
I know she will be hurting as well. Just doing me for the time being - what else can I do?!
Yes one step one day at a time.
and trust me being in a relationship while being an active alcoholic for years will do much damage.
You will be stronger healthier and such a good partner in time when you are ready to venture into a relationship again.
Now if I can practice what I preach!!! I am trying now- I am going to die if I continue. It just gets progressively worse.
Of course she is hurting. Don't let that hurt be in vain.
and trust me being in a relationship while being an active alcoholic for years will do much damage.
You will be stronger healthier and such a good partner in time when you are ready to venture into a relationship again.
Now if I can practice what I preach!!! I am trying now- I am going to die if I continue. It just gets progressively worse.
Of course she is hurting. Don't let that hurt be in vain.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 99
I really figured that I had it beat end of last year but there is always a reason to have a drink. Good day/bad day. Weekend and 7am...
Me being single is probably the fairest way to go for me, her and my recovery to work.
Sounds like you have everything worked out in theory. Im sure you will go great.
No, I wont let the hurt I caused her be in vain. That is a great way to look at it.
Me being single is probably the fairest way to go for me, her and my recovery to work.
Sounds like you have everything worked out in theory. Im sure you will go great.
No, I wont let the hurt I caused her be in vain. That is a great way to look at it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 99
Hey D,
Thank you for the welcome. Yes, I have already begun. Replace drink with fitness, eating well, starting martial arts which I used to do years ago, some dodgeball.
Most importantly, I think be kinder to myself and love myself (without trying to get all weird). Have for a long time convinced myself I am not allowed to be happy. Have worked that out from what my ex wrote to me shortly after leaving.
Appreciate the small things and be patient.
Thank you for the welcome. Yes, I have already begun. Replace drink with fitness, eating well, starting martial arts which I used to do years ago, some dodgeball.
Most importantly, I think be kinder to myself and love myself (without trying to get all weird). Have for a long time convinced myself I am not allowed to be happy. Have worked that out from what my ex wrote to me shortly after leaving.
Appreciate the small things and be patient.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 99
Faith,
I know that I have hurt myself but really, however difficult to see it, I couldn't when drinking.
The overriding feeling of guilt for what I put the girl through will perhaps be with me for a very long time.
I use that in a positive way, keep pushing to come good. Otherwise, whats the point?
I know that I have hurt myself but really, however difficult to see it, I couldn't when drinking.
The overriding feeling of guilt for what I put the girl through will perhaps be with me for a very long time.
I use that in a positive way, keep pushing to come good. Otherwise, whats the point?
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