Shebeens

‘Morning..... I didn’t succumb last night but dang did I want to! Everything was going along fine and then 💥 bam, accused of some bs at work and the anxiety hit hard! I am thinking I need to quit the job but not sure 🤔 hubby would support that decision. I don’t either really but some days it seems the easiest decision to save my sanity. I hope this weekend will be low anxiety and allow that “little voice” to stay in the background tucked away.
Anyone else find that work is driving you to drink??

entropy1964

There are lots of things that have the potential to drive me crazy/or to drink. The trick is not allowing them too. Observe the situation (with the child, or work, or traffic, of husband, or AA or whatever) and look at my part in it. Handle that part and let the rest go. Act as opposed to react. If I react constantly I'm not really learning to cope in a way that allows me not to be driven to drink....if that makes any sense.

Shebeens

Makes great sense!! I don’t think my coping skills are very strong as this point. I do have a great friend who is also a lawyer who helps me through some of the insane situations I find myself in at work.

Mattq2

My AV could find a reason to drink for just about anything. Bad day have a drink, good day have a drink. Learning that I could never drink again was the trick. With each sober day the sober me is in more control. Ignoring the urges will become easier with time

CRRHCC

Every work day is full of adversity for me. Some circumstances are more overwhelming than others. When I feel trapped, powerless and helpless, I use to drink and take drugs. I could wait until the weekends to do this because just the knowledge that I was going to get wasted on the weekend (hey I deserved it, so i thought) empowered me to escape the trap of adversity. You could say I regained control of my feelings with getting drunk or taking drugs.

I've since learned there are more healthy high value behaviors to use to regain control. The trick is to find those empowering behaviors that we value. If we don't have them we need to find them. For example, in the next 30 minutes I'm about to go on a 23 mile bike ride :-)

Dee74

I'd wait a while, if you can, before making any momentous life decisions.

The things that bugged me on day 1, or day 7, weren't the same things that bugged me on day 90.

I'm sorry work sucks but be sure of your decision before you burn any bridges

D

entropy1964

I don’t think my coping skills are very strong as this point.

I understand and relate. I can simplify my addiction as being a massive mal-adaptive coping mechanism. So my recovery is learning to develop coping mechanisms (among other things)....in simplest terms, learning to accept life on life's terms. I believe acceptance to be the alpha and omega of recovery.

So maybe view your job, and all the 'things' that happen there (and will happen at pretty much any job) an opportunity to practice acceptance. Choosing what to respond to and what to let go. Owning your side of things and letting others own theirs. Not taking things personally. See what happens.

Shebeens

Thank you for the responses, they are all helpful. I really do like my job and don’t want to walk away from it or get “invited to leave” due to my inability to deal with the few hostile ppl I have as customers. Most are lovely, it is amazing how a few can turn me into a shaky drinking mess. I am learning to say to myself that I won’t let them drive me out of a job I am actually good at. I listed to a podcast yesterday that I thought was really good re: sobriety. It is called the “recovery elevator”. It has over 150 episodes to listen to. The one I heard talked a lot about coping. I went out last night to dinner and drank soda water. I wanted wine but didn’t. I’m proud of that.
Happy Sunday to all! My dog is asleep on my lap and I have a full cup’a joe ☕️ and am feeling happy.

Shebeens

OMG, I have burned several (maybe whole states worth) bridges it is horrifying to think about. I cannot do that with this job. I burned enough relationships that I had to change industries in order to secure a job. I took a huge pay cut to half of what I was making and have been working my way back up ever since. I’m actually happier in my new career but the pay and status reduction was hard to mentally accept for years. Now I am happy to have a job with healthcare....

ProfessorD

Work and the associated pressure is a huge part of my story. I totally get this. I think it's so important to do the kinds of work that make us feel bigger, not smaller. I'm so glad you didn't drink that bottle of wine. It means you get to actually sort through your discomfort and anxiety, rather than pretending nothing is wrong. Good for you!!!