sweetichick

I didn't share. Just shed a couple of tears. Anyway this guy bailed me up and said was I seeking any other help. I told him I was seeing a shrink once a week. I believe he was trying to help as he said that meeting doesn't believe in psychiatry or medication. The prior week the chairman made fun of me giving up smoking saying it was only a a new year resolutions. In saying all this I am dropping out of this site. Too many arguments and no-one to talk to with long-term sobriety. I have to drink so I won't smoke or I will lose my car and my house. I paid $50 on Xmas day for a pack of 40s. Thanks Dee for your help and I wish you well

Hopedeferred

Sorry you had a bad experience at a meeting and you haven't come across long-term sober people here (they are here you just haven't found those threads yet I guess). But it sounds like you also aren't ready to stop drinking or I misread your post. All I know is that getting on here each night is another tool in my toolbox to keep me sober another day.

Hopedeferred

Also I never heard of an AA meeting having an official Chairman. And anyone who makes a statement of their personal belief for an entire "meeting" is a liar as AA does not work like that. Why not try a different meeting? And seeing a counselor thru the process of dealing with an addiction is supremely smart and can only help.

sweetichick

Thanks guys

Berrybean

Well, you gotta do what you gotta do. Thing is, I'm sure I remember you saying you needed to quit smoking because drinking and smoking go together for you.... sooooo, what do you think will happen when you take a drink? My bet is you'll go spend money on smokes.

Drinking is NEVER a good idea for an alcoholic. Ever. Rationalise it whatever way we like, it's never gonna end well.

Did you actually get a sponsor? Have you spoken to them about this?

BB

tomsteve

sweetichick, the arguement is,and always has been, one sided. you read or hear something you dont like and use it as an excuse.you have a habit of blaming people(your neighbor,his wives,past boyfriends,people here,people at aa, and quite a few more), places(where you live,this site,aa), and things( your hot water heater,your car) for your problems and why you drink and smoke. you use it all to stay stuck in the problem. it keeps you in untreated alcoholism.
there are a LOT of people here with long term sobriety. HUNDREDS of them have taken their time to be supportive and offer suggestions. and now your going to blame the people here- i dont think thats gonna fly too good. many,many,many,many people have done what they can to help. they arent here to tell you what you want to hear.

when you decide to stop living in the problem and begin living in the solution,the problem will go away.
running away from here and AA aint going to help. go back through your posts-many times youve said there are great people in AA and here. then ya hear or read something you dont like and back to something similar to yhis.
then drunk again(when you get paid). its been a viscious,insane cycle.
hope yadecide to break it.

i was told things by people in AA that sent me into a fit of rage. sometimes a huffy pity party (that no one joined in).
because what was said to me had truth to it.
when theres no truth in what people say to me?
doesnt bother me at all.
hope ya decide to live in solutions instead continueing the cycle. i can relate to blaming everyone and everything- i did it for years.
and stayed drunk

Done4today

Good luck sweetichick, I hope you don't drink. If you do, we are here for you always. I wish you the best.

Dee74

without SR and without AA I fear there's not a lot to stop you from saying f it and losing this year in a haze of drink smokes and that neighbourhood drama.

To make change we need to make changes - y'know?

I hope you decide to come back sweetichick

D

Nonsensical

Now there's a statement only an alcoholic could devise!

I wouldn't advise saying it anywhere except in front of a group of other alcoholics. I'm pretty sure the average second-grader could blow a hole through that logic.

You know where alcoholics go to get better.

That wasn't a question. You do know.
I hope you get there soon.
Best of Luck on Your Journey.

ChloeRose63

Good luck on your journey.

entropy1964

One of the foundations of my recovery is learning to challenge my thoughts and feelings. In the past I would think or feel something (maybe based on something I saw, or something someone said to me, or did to me) and I would re-act. I would assume that my feelings and thoughts were fact and just run with it. That kept me in a place of agitation all the time....which of course increases the likelihood that I'll drink.

I now know that my thoughts and feelings often aren't fact. Rather than react constantly to the external world (people, places, things) like a push go toy, I pause and consider my options. And consider that my feelings and thoughts are dead wrong.

Good luck!

DontRemember

I got pissed when an 'old timer' told me; "I don't think you're done yet." after I shared one morning..I was fuming..had a 'solid 3wks sober', so how the hell would he know? I thought "you don't know me,old man!"..Well..old man was right.. I drank for another couple months,but not to the extent I was drinking before AA. Then I just got tired/bored with the lifestyle I was leading.. I wasn't happy in my relationship, in my work or with myself. That's when I woke up and started focusing on my happiness in all areas. Dumped my 12+yr gf..kinda went silent partner on a couple companies for a while(just now getting back into it) and started focusing on my happiness. I've got a bit over a year(I know that's not long) but, I couldn't have done it with blaming others. I blamed a lot of things/people for MY drinking/bad habits and that kept me in the insanity. I'm an adult and no one is going to save me from me,If I'm not really wanting help. Best wishes to you and I hope you find what you're looking for in life.

ProfessorD

One of the things I think we all do as alcoholics is focus too heavily on the negatives and fail to appreciate the positives. I've had a few interactions with recovery folks here and elsewhere that rub me the wrong way, but hey that's human interaction; it's flawed.

The overwhelming number of people on this site who take time to respond and encourage each other--especially those like myself in the early stages--is astounding.

I think it's your AV which is telling you this site is a bad experience. I hope you tell that voice off, because we like you and we want you here in recovery.

Delilah1

Hi Sweetichick,

I am really sorry to read your post. I know you want to be sober, I also know you can do it.

I hope you will continue to post, and continue to work on your sobriety. I know I will be here to support you whenever I see your posts, and I know many others will as well.

ReadyAtLast

You are only drinking so you don't smoke is insanity. Surely you're more likely to keep your house and car if you do neither then you can spend your money on bills.

I think tom Steve was spot on in all he said. I know I am,as many of us are ,overly sensitive paranoid nervous in groups and conscious of what people think or might think of me. In reality most people probably don't think anything as more worried about what others think of them.

I hope you stick around and keep going to aa. Not going doesn't work and staying away doesn't keep us sober.

Verdantia

Hey, Sweetichick--I'm sorry you feel the need to leave but we must follow our own path. That said, I wish you would stay. Sometimes I haven't agreed with posts and posters but I've learned a lot even from those with whom I disagree. There are also lots of people here with long-term sobriety and I draw great inspiration from their examples. I considered myself to be a hopeless case too far gone for redemption--but I kept fighting, found a spark of hope amidst the horror of my situation and have kept the flame going for two years and one month. You can have sobriety and a good life and I hope you succeed. I am rooting for you.

sweetichick

I am not smoking at all and have cut back on NRT. I don't have a sponsor yet and btw the last one told me to keep smoking. I feel so much better without the cancer sticks. It's been a real battle but I have done it. My mother is so happy.

sweetichick

All our AA meetings in Australia have official chairman's and secretaries. There's no cross sharing and the chairman rings a bell if someone shares for too long. I intend to try different meetings.

sweetichick

I know it sounds insane but giving up 2 addictions at once was too hard. A other couple of weeks and I can go after the alcohol. As I have said a million times it costs over a dollar a smoke in Australia. I am on a pension and can no way afford it.

Dee74

Yeah drinking so you don't smoke doesn't sound like a viable long term plan.
I know I'd be doing both soon enough....

A lot of anti smoking measures - nic patches and things like Zyban and Chantix - used to be on the PBS. I'd assume they still are.

Ask your Dr about them next time you see them maybe?

That sounds like a better way, to me, of staying smoke free.

D