Horn95

The only things keeping me from ending it all are my kids, and wife. I am tired of this battle. I want so bad to stop. But I am losing hope. I am not asking for condolences or that sort that sort of thing. Just some advice on how to back off from the abyss. Because I am staring it down and nothing is looking back.

Lookingforchange

There is always hope. Don’t drink and try to cope just 1 day at a time. It works. You can and will do this for them.

Lookingforchange

Also phone for help-Samaritans or GP or family. Don’t give up.

JJ991

Is there someone you can call?

Also, I agree, get help from your doctor, make that first step which will help make you accountable.

You CAN do it, just don't pick up that first drink. Don't entertain thoughts about ending it all, no one wants that. Get the help and support you need.

faith823

Horn95 what day are you on? I am on day 3. I have hope for a better future if I stay sober. The depression will lift. Please don't give up as you said you have so much to live for. Don't let the beast/devil/disease that wants us dead win. xoxo
Praying for you now.

Delilah1

Hi Horn,

Sorry you are struggling. It sounds like a trip to ER may be a good place to start. They can get you started with detox, and a plan for after.

I know it's not easy, but you can do this. You deserve a sober life, and so do your wife and kids.

I am attaching a link for recovery plans, take a peek and see what might work for you, and please think about taking a trip to the ER.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

Forward12

Give your insurance company a call and see what inpatient rehabs are covered, you can also simply google "addiction center" and setup a plan with them.
Help is everywhere and the madness can stop, you just need to take a few steps to make it happen.

least

Do call a hotline if you are feeling suicidal.

scottynz

hi Horn,

I am sorry things are so hard right now, please do talk to someone about your feelings and get help to step back from the abyss.

I lost a close friend to suicide, which has lead me to do some learning and work with depression. I want you to know that it IS possible to step back and the darkness can recede, but the best way to do it is to take the hands of people who can help guide you on that journey.

Please talk to a helpline or your Dr and be honest about how you are feeling.

Horn95

Thanks all for the advice and kind words. I am going into detox (again) tomorrow. Won’t be able to post.

Dee74

Good luck with detox Horn. When you get out post here again for suggestions on how you might make this time the last time

Our members will not let you down

D.

Forward12

Great work! Be sure you arrange for them to transfer you to inpatient rehab afterwards.
You have so much to live for, get it done!

Horn95

Thanks all.

I am on my first day of detox. I decided to do it at home. I really have to work this week. In fact, I am working from home today. I called my doc and she prescribed me Klonopin. I am doing ok. Just slow from the Benzo.

I have so much to live for. Outside of this addiction, I have a stressful, but pretty damn good life. I need to work the heck out of AA. I really like it. I travel a lot though so I cannot make regular meetings.

No excuses. It’s on me. I am a professional and know better. And the AA group in my area is really good. I will let those pros help me out of this.

AnvilheadII

horn, many people plan ahead an little when traveling and find meetings in the city/area they are visiting.

DontRemember

I had to travel for work several months ago for the first time in years and it was way harder than I expected(completely my own fault for over complicating my life) or I wouldn't have went. I stuck to this site like glue and found a meeting near my hotel. Instead of ending the work day(s) at the hotel bar I focused on going to the gym. I even went to church and I'm not religious. I felt great once I got back home and was so proud of what I had done that I did some much needed 'de-complicating' pretty much as soon as I landed. The whole "keep it simple stupid" is much needed for me in my sobriety.

Anna

Horn, I'm glad you made the decision to go into Detox. And, do check back here as soon as you can. We have lots of support to offer.

Dee74

You know the drill Horn, if you feel unwell, call the professionals in.

D

Harley1973

Whatever you do do it with medical help. I just spent a week in inpatient detox and it was best decision I ever made. I’m no doctor but I know going cold turkey without medical supervision is bad idea. I’ve done it before in the past by myself and it was not a pretty sight!!

Ken0331

How are you doing, horn. I just posted to your introduction thread.

You can do this, brother. We have many former Marines in my Home Group. Once I was in a meeting of maybe 2 dozen people, and I counted five former Marines in the room. For the smallest branch of the Services, we sure are over-represented in certain demographics.

If you want to talk, PM me and I'll reply with my phone number.