Responding instead of reacting
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: Dallas, Texas
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Responding instead of reacting
This might seem like semantics, but there is a difference. I have been struggling a bit lately with my sobriety. I brought it up to my therapist who asked if I was reacting or responding to triggers. I found that the difference is this: reacting is a reflexive action where responding requires a pause and thought. Instead of reacting to triggers, I have been consciously trying to respond by pausing and thinking of the consequences of the action. It is difficult at times, but it is a good way to handle triggers and urges. Just take time to pause and reflect before acting.
This is a great and important distinction; thank you.
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Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
Viktor Frankl
That is one of my favorite quotes.....and one of the cornerstones of my recovery.
Viktor Frankl
That is one of my favorite quotes.....and one of the cornerstones of my recovery.
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 110
Originally Posted by Frickaflip233 
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
Viktor Frankl
That is one of my favorite quotes.....and one of the cornerstones of my recovery.
Viktor Frankl
That is one of my favorite quotes.....and one of the cornerstones of my recovery.
sober style
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,384
I just read a book on meditation in which the experts made this same distinction. Allegedly meditation helps a lot to get your mind under enough control where you can learn and apply this skill in all kinds of situations, mindfully responding instead of mechanically reacting. The book was 10% Happier by Dan Harris btw, I liked it.
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Join Date: Dec 2017
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A serious distinction and one I have to be cognizant of always. Even though I'm not impulsive or possessing a bent towards extroversion, I have a propensity to react. To me response is a mindful and empowered stance.
Thanks for sharing this.
Thanks for sharing this.
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 328
Great and important and powerful point.
I do a lot of training in my professional life and on almost all of my courses there is some time spent on react vs respond which is irony itself I suppose. I can teach the stuff and adhere to it in a professional or corporate arena but didn’t fare so well in my own private life.
Anyway,
It’s so simple to process but can be difficult to master.
The way I break it down is this.
Every single time I have “reacted” I end up with an apology to make to someone.
This is never the case when I take a second to choose my “response”
I do a lot of training in my professional life and on almost all of my courses there is some time spent on react vs respond which is irony itself I suppose. I can teach the stuff and adhere to it in a professional or corporate arena but didn’t fare so well in my own private life.
Anyway,
It’s so simple to process but can be difficult to master.
The way I break it down is this.
Every single time I have “reacted” I end up with an apology to make to someone.
This is never the case when I take a second to choose my “response”
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
The Pause, as I heard it called somewhere, is so critical for me. Being impulsive and REactive was classic drinking behavior of mine (and also probably basic personality leanings exacerbated in an alcoholic household as I grew up trying to figure out the world et etc). Now, I usually - not always- recognize that moment and can take it. When I don't pause, I realize it pretty quickly!!!
Glad you shared.
Glad you shared.
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 611
I think my most negative reactions (anger, catastrophizing, etc.) come from the same place as my AV. Through recovery, I cultivate a conscious that yields more responses and fewer reactions. Or something like that.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 350
To react or to respond? That is indeed provocative.
We are all hard wired to react, fight, flight or freeze.
If we allow this default setting to exercise itself to much it just becomes your brains instant go to setting.
It is important to exercise the part of the brain that processes responding so that it becomes a more travelled path.
Thus we are more likely to use it when it best suits the situation.🙏
We are all hard wired to react, fight, flight or freeze.
If we allow this default setting to exercise itself to much it just becomes your brains instant go to setting.
It is important to exercise the part of the brain that processes responding so that it becomes a more travelled path.
Thus we are more likely to use it when it best suits the situation.🙏
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