Work stress, wanting to drink
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Work stress, wanting to drink
Hi everyone, well my new job is moving along. I think I reported that last week my first few days of being on my own went great. This past week however has been absolute hell. I am seriously losing the plot. There is just so much to do and I have to keep switching between languages of communication and the emails come in by the hundreds and there are many different tasks to take care of.
I am scared I can't keep up and more than anything scared the the one think I "think" will help is having a drink to take the edge off. I know that is crazy thinking, but I feel it. It comes often, early and constantly.
I have never felt so inept in my life. I thought everything was going fine but now it all seems to be crashing down. I even had the thought this week of quitting, just saying "sorry, I am not good enough" but they already trained me and they need me.
I am scared I can't keep up and more than anything scared the the one think I "think" will help is having a drink to take the edge off. I know that is crazy thinking, but I feel it. It comes often, early and constantly.
I have never felt so inept in my life. I thought everything was going fine but now it all seems to be crashing down. I even had the thought this week of quitting, just saying "sorry, I am not good enough" but they already trained me and they need me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Essex
Posts: 411
Perhaps you can't keep up...sometimes it's not possible to keep with the volume of work in front of us. We're only human. And very often, things will keep, not everything is a priority.
Being practical, here's what I'd do:
Put an out office response on, along the lines of "We're currently receiving a high volume of emails. We do appreciate your interest, and will aim to have a response with you in 5 working days" of whatever period of days seems appropriate.
Talking of volume of emails, always after a period of leave, I begin with the top of the pile, because often, there will be at least some repetition, or a chain of emails, which are about the same thing. If there are groups of emails in English/Italian/French, then group those & respond to them, so you don't have to keep switching languages.
Ask for help - speak with your manager, and say the volume of the emails is very high (or whatever else it is) & let them know about the out of office. Seek some clarity about what the priorities are, and focus your energy on those.
At the beginning of the work, section your calendar to deal with particular tasks, the ones of highest priority. And turn the email off, and put the answerphone on, and just focus on those tasks.
Remember, always, it is only a job. It's not the world, or your life, or your health, or your well-being. It's only a job.
Wish you well, and remember to breathe....
Being practical, here's what I'd do:
Put an out office response on, along the lines of "We're currently receiving a high volume of emails. We do appreciate your interest, and will aim to have a response with you in 5 working days" of whatever period of days seems appropriate.
Talking of volume of emails, always after a period of leave, I begin with the top of the pile, because often, there will be at least some repetition, or a chain of emails, which are about the same thing. If there are groups of emails in English/Italian/French, then group those & respond to them, so you don't have to keep switching languages.
Ask for help - speak with your manager, and say the volume of the emails is very high (or whatever else it is) & let them know about the out of office. Seek some clarity about what the priorities are, and focus your energy on those.
At the beginning of the work, section your calendar to deal with particular tasks, the ones of highest priority. And turn the email off, and put the answerphone on, and just focus on those tasks.
Remember, always, it is only a job. It's not the world, or your life, or your health, or your well-being. It's only a job.
Wish you well, and remember to breathe....
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Mera
I'd listen to Pipefish over your AV
the fact is very few of us started as great at our jobs - noone starts as an expert.
Most jobs need a little 'bedding in' time and a little experience before we can get to grips with them.
I'm sure that given time, you'll grow into the job...but not if you start drinking again. That's like cutting your capability and capacity in half.
I know the voice and I know the panic - but it's strictly AV.
It lies. I believe you can do this job, sober
D
I'd listen to Pipefish over your AV
the fact is very few of us started as great at our jobs - noone starts as an expert.
Most jobs need a little 'bedding in' time and a little experience before we can get to grips with them.
I'm sure that given time, you'll grow into the job...but not if you start drinking again. That's like cutting your capability and capacity in half.
I know the voice and I know the panic - but it's strictly AV.
It lies. I believe you can do this job, sober
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,914
Don’t know your back story so take with a grain of salt but my job regularly sends me into a panic. It’s highly political and very crisis oriented in addition to being high volume. I just try to tell myself all I can do is my best. And I can’t do my best if I’m drinking. Good luck to you. That sounds extremely taxing mentally. Agree with previous poster re discussing with your manager. I’m also a big believer in physical activity to help with mental anguish. Hope you find something to relieve the pressure (that isn’t booze 😉
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Thanks pipefish and Dee, good words.
There are just so many thing to do, all kind of separate, all the accounting, ingoing and outgoing. Then for example I have to plan all our professionals for certain races. So some they ask for 1 physical therapist an one doctor, others only a doctor, other 3 physical therapists and a doctor. So I have to get figure out who is going, then schedule their flight so they arrive at the same airport at nearly the same time (they come from all over Europe) this is so they can share the rental car. But first I have to send the flights to the profesionals to make sure they agree- and there is always some change they want to make. then I have to send the flights to the team to make sure they agree- because they are paying. But this is for like hundreds of events. It is making me crazy..... coordinating the spanish physical therapist with the italian travel agent with the german team..... and on an ond....
There are just so many thing to do, all kind of separate, all the accounting, ingoing and outgoing. Then for example I have to plan all our professionals for certain races. So some they ask for 1 physical therapist an one doctor, others only a doctor, other 3 physical therapists and a doctor. So I have to get figure out who is going, then schedule their flight so they arrive at the same airport at nearly the same time (they come from all over Europe) this is so they can share the rental car. But first I have to send the flights to the profesionals to make sure they agree- and there is always some change they want to make. then I have to send the flights to the team to make sure they agree- because they are paying. But this is for like hundreds of events. It is making me crazy..... coordinating the spanish physical therapist with the italian travel agent with the german team..... and on an ond....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 452
Many jobs are similarly manual as firms have underinvested in technologies. My advice is simply to prioritise and mention the matter to your line manager. Then realise that you are only human, can deliver one shift of work per day and limit it at that. Alcohol will not help you at all and I suspect that you know this. All the best Mera, hang in there!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 38
I just posted a similar thread. I totally understand your situation, I have been there and am there many days. I don’t have any advice as I am in the same place but don’t succumb to the voice in your head. Can you talk to your boss and ask them to help you find a solution to the volume of work? I will say when I have done this with my current boss it has been helpful. That said my day yesterday was highly stressful and my voice said “wine wine wine” but I didn’t do it. I did drink a lot of herbal tea...
I hope it gets better for you. I get it!! I have started drinking at 2 previously when under extreme stress.
I hope it gets better for you. I get it!! I have started drinking at 2 previously when under extreme stress.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
It seems like your job is overwhelming you, making you feel like you have lost control. So, if you drink, you won't gain control (in fact, you will lose it), but at least you won't care, you know? I can completely relate, but here's my advice for what it's worth.
Breathe. Emotionally detach.
Do the next thing in front of you. Don't "snowball," catastrophize the future, or give more energy to simple things than needed.
Do the people work in the office, and the "work work" at home, meaning separate the emails that are administrative so that you can respond in the evening while watching TV. P.S. You will score points for working off the clock.
Finally, remember that you have control over the job you have. Yes, we need to support ourselves, but continue to look for other jobs and tailor your resume to best position yourself to compete for them. This job is not your forever job.
Just don't drink. That is a recipe for despair and hopelessness.
Breathe. Emotionally detach.
Do the next thing in front of you. Don't "snowball," catastrophize the future, or give more energy to simple things than needed.
Do the people work in the office, and the "work work" at home, meaning separate the emails that are administrative so that you can respond in the evening while watching TV. P.S. You will score points for working off the clock.
Finally, remember that you have control over the job you have. Yes, we need to support ourselves, but continue to look for other jobs and tailor your resume to best position yourself to compete for them. This job is not your forever job.
Just don't drink. That is a recipe for despair and hopelessness.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 327
Drinking will definitely make you feel less in control and will not help. I think it's best to talk to your supervisors about where you feel you are falling short. Chances are you're doing a better job than you think for being put in a new situation. It takes time and mistakes will be made. They key is to not be too hard on yourself.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Hi Mera,
I'm going to start by saying what you already know, drinking will make this exponentially worse.
It is wonderful that you had a great first week, I know you were nervous about taking on this responsibility.
Emails can definitely get a little overwhelming. I have gone through periods of continually checking email, which interfered with whatever it was I was currently working on. Schedule times into your day to check your emails so you are able to work on other projects as well. As women, we like to think we are masters at multitasking, and there is lots of research that shows multitasking actually makes us less effective at everything.
Throw yourself into each project fully, and focus in the task at hand, check emails at regularly scheduled times, and make sure to keep an ongoing task list so you can follow up on anything that may need following up on.
Learning to prioritize in a new job is often the hardest part, but you will get there.
And no matter what happens, don't drink Mera!!
You've got this my friend.
❤️Delilah
I'm going to start by saying what you already know, drinking will make this exponentially worse.
It is wonderful that you had a great first week, I know you were nervous about taking on this responsibility.
Emails can definitely get a little overwhelming. I have gone through periods of continually checking email, which interfered with whatever it was I was currently working on. Schedule times into your day to check your emails so you are able to work on other projects as well. As women, we like to think we are masters at multitasking, and there is lots of research that shows multitasking actually makes us less effective at everything.
Throw yourself into each project fully, and focus in the task at hand, check emails at regularly scheduled times, and make sure to keep an ongoing task list so you can follow up on anything that may need following up on.
Learning to prioritize in a new job is often the hardest part, but you will get there.
And no matter what happens, don't drink Mera!!
You've got this my friend.
❤️Delilah
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 446
Mera,
So sorry to hear that this job is overwhelming you! As others have already said above, drinking won't fix anything, on the contrary, it would push you back into a nightmare and destroy you and your family.
As far as your job is concerned, the first thing to do is an assessment of whether this job actually fits your personality or not. Not everybody is suited for any job.
Do you like lists, are you detail oriented, highly organized, do you have an accounting degree, are you always looking forward to January because it is that time of the year where you get to do your own taxes? Then yes, this scheduling job is the dream job for you! Or are you more of people person, focused on relationships, or a 'Big Picture' kind of person, focused on visions of the future? Then this job is a no-go for you and you'll have to find a way out. Not today, not next week, but if your personality type does not fit you'll have to quit. For the sake of the organization and your own sake.
If you are the former kind of person and you are struggling, it's because you need to find a way to better organize your daily workflow.
One idea is create multiple folders in your email inbox, something like this:
1. Incoming requests
2. Travel notifications
3. Requests for changes to travel
4. Final itinerary
5. Waiting for signoff from team
6. Accounting/Invoicing
That's just for illustration purposes, but you get the idea! Then when you start in the morning or come back after lunch, you can look at your buckets, see where you're behind and work on the right requests. You can can run stats on the different queues, which will help you estimate how long it takes you per request, so after a few weeks you'll be able to quickly forecast the workload based on what's in your inbox.
Depending on what your organization looks like (since I have no idea), you may be able to ask your manager for additional help on working off some of the buckets or as suggested above, do them at home, until you've found your groove and get it all done in time and without undue pressure.
For more ideas on being more productive through task management I can recommend David Allen's 'Getting Things Done'
If you think you can use a little bit of help to get organized, please PM me and I can help you design your workflow; I have done a lot of business process redesign work over the course of my career and you've been so helpful to many folks here on the board, it's time you get some support as well!
So sorry to hear that this job is overwhelming you! As others have already said above, drinking won't fix anything, on the contrary, it would push you back into a nightmare and destroy you and your family.
As far as your job is concerned, the first thing to do is an assessment of whether this job actually fits your personality or not. Not everybody is suited for any job.
Do you like lists, are you detail oriented, highly organized, do you have an accounting degree, are you always looking forward to January because it is that time of the year where you get to do your own taxes? Then yes, this scheduling job is the dream job for you! Or are you more of people person, focused on relationships, or a 'Big Picture' kind of person, focused on visions of the future? Then this job is a no-go for you and you'll have to find a way out. Not today, not next week, but if your personality type does not fit you'll have to quit. For the sake of the organization and your own sake.
If you are the former kind of person and you are struggling, it's because you need to find a way to better organize your daily workflow.
One idea is create multiple folders in your email inbox, something like this:
1. Incoming requests
2. Travel notifications
3. Requests for changes to travel
4. Final itinerary
5. Waiting for signoff from team
6. Accounting/Invoicing
That's just for illustration purposes, but you get the idea! Then when you start in the morning or come back after lunch, you can look at your buckets, see where you're behind and work on the right requests. You can can run stats on the different queues, which will help you estimate how long it takes you per request, so after a few weeks you'll be able to quickly forecast the workload based on what's in your inbox.
Depending on what your organization looks like (since I have no idea), you may be able to ask your manager for additional help on working off some of the buckets or as suggested above, do them at home, until you've found your groove and get it all done in time and without undue pressure.
For more ideas on being more productive through task management I can recommend David Allen's 'Getting Things Done'
If you think you can use a little bit of help to get organized, please PM me and I can help you design your workflow; I have done a lot of business process redesign work over the course of my career and you've been so helpful to many folks here on the board, it's time you get some support as well!
Last edited by Dee74; 02-02-2018 at 02:04 PM. Reason: removed commercial link.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
There really are some good ideas, that I will definitely incorporate into my work day. I am generally organised. Unfortunately during my training period we were at the end of the season and most of the tasks I got training in were the accounting things. The scheduling stuff has just come up now and it is one huge puzzle to figure out.
I'll get it done though, I have to. I printed out some emails and schedules and brought them home with me this weekend to try to get some things figured out so I can work faster on Monday. Last week I just found myself in so many moments where I was so confused and overwhelmed I just blocked up and wasn't getting anything done except for starting at my computer screen.
It will be ok. It has to be.
I'll get it done though, I have to. I printed out some emails and schedules and brought them home with me this weekend to try to get some things figured out so I can work faster on Monday. Last week I just found myself in so many moments where I was so confused and overwhelmed I just blocked up and wasn't getting anything done except for starting at my computer screen.
It will be ok. It has to be.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
I am much older that you and at 60 last march I decided enough was enough and took early retirement from a stressful job . What I noticed though was that life just doesn't become a rose garden just because we quit working , I drank on and off from march till july 31st and been sober since . I think what I would have done had I been 30 years younger was to move to a less stressful job .
I often ask my self was the job stressful of was I the creator of the stressful job .
I hope you can work it out but please don't pick up a drink
I often ask my self was the job stressful of was I the creator of the stressful job .
I hope you can work it out but please don't pick up a drink
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 446
Originally Posted by Meraviglioso 
There really are some good ideas, that I will definitely incorporate into my work day. I am generally organised. Unfortunately during my training period we were at the end of the season and most of the tasks I got training in were the accounting things. The scheduling stuff has just come up now and it is one huge puzzle to figure out.
Draw on a piece of paper the various stages from the initial requests to the successful execution of the scheduled items. Then create the stages as subfolder under your inbox folder, making sure you number them like ‘01. Initial travel request’, so they are in logical order.
When you receive an email with a travel request, you move the request from your inbox to the ‘01’ bucket and you start doing your thing, like confirming resources. E.g. you send emails to the various doctors etc. (give the event a running number which you always use in the subject line of any emails you write!) and you move the emails to these guys from the ‘sent’ box to a bucket called ‘02. Wating for resource confirmation’. When a person confirms, you move the corresponding email from the ‘02’ bucket back to your outbox and check if there is another resource confirmation request. If so, you wait, if not, you move on to the next step, like looking up the flights etc.
Let me know if this makes sense. Like I said, I’d be very happy to help you construct this workflow, just let me know! Ciao e parleremo fra poco!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Originally Posted by Mac4711
The tricky part about getting the schedules done is that you have many stages and every single stage has to be completed before you can move on. And since you have hundreds of these events, you need a structure that allows you to monitor each stage (or buckets). That’s why I suggested you build a workflow.
Draw on a piece of paper the various stages from the initial requests to the successful execution of the scheduled items. Then create the stages as subfolder under your inbox folder, making sure you number them like ‘01. Initial travel request’, so they are in logical order.
When you receive an email with a travel request, you move the request from your inbox to the ‘01’ bucket and you start doing your thing, like confirming resources. E.g. you send emails to the various doctors etc. (give the event a running number which you always use in the subject line of any emails you write!) and you move the emails to these guys from the ‘sent’ box to a bucket called ‘02. Wating for resource confirmation’. When a person confirms, you move the corresponding email from the ‘02’ bucket back to your outbox and check if there is another resource confirmation request. If so, you wait, if not, you move on to the next step, like looking up the flights etc.
Let me know if this makes sense. Like I said, I’d be very happy to help you construct this workflow, just let me know! Ciao e parleremo fra poco!
Draw on a piece of paper the various stages from the initial requests to the successful execution of the scheduled items. Then create the stages as subfolder under your inbox folder, making sure you number them like ‘01. Initial travel request’, so they are in logical order.
When you receive an email with a travel request, you move the request from your inbox to the ‘01’ bucket and you start doing your thing, like confirming resources. E.g. you send emails to the various doctors etc. (give the event a running number which you always use in the subject line of any emails you write!) and you move the emails to these guys from the ‘sent’ box to a bucket called ‘02. Wating for resource confirmation’. When a person confirms, you move the corresponding email from the ‘02’ bucket back to your outbox and check if there is another resource confirmation request. If so, you wait, if not, you move on to the next step, like looking up the flights etc.
Let me know if this makes sense. Like I said, I’d be very happy to help you construct this workflow, just let me know! Ciao e parleremo fra poco!
Thank you everyone for your words of wisdom and support and thank you Mac for this offer. Really, I have been thinking about it since I read it, it really touched me that you would reach out and offer to help in such a time consuming and constructive way. I think I will take you up on it, and would be glad to pay you for your time of course. I will send you a preliminary PM and then more details when I can bring my work book home with me. Thank you again.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by Meraviglioso
Hi everyone, well my new job is moving along. I think I reported that last week my first few days of being on my own went great. This past week however has been absolute hell. I am seriously losing the plot. There is just so much to do and I have to keep switching between languages of communication and the emails come in by the hundreds and there are many different tasks to take care of.
I am scared I can't keep up and more than anything scared the the one think I "think" will help is having a drink to take the edge off. I know that is crazy thinking, but I feel it. It comes often, early and constantly.
I have never felt so inept in my life. I thought everything was going fine but now it all seems to be crashing down. I even had the thought this week of quitting, just saying "sorry, I am not good enough" but they already trained me and they need me.
I am scared I can't keep up and more than anything scared the the one think I "think" will help is having a drink to take the edge off. I know that is crazy thinking, but I feel it. It comes often, early and constantly.
I have never felt so inept in my life. I thought everything was going fine but now it all seems to be crashing down. I even had the thought this week of quitting, just saying "sorry, I am not good enough" but they already trained me and they need me.
How have you been supporting yourself in this? How have you been continuing to give active support to your sobriety?
Work, finances, life.... it all happens and it can all be dealt with. When we find ourselves feeling drawn toward a drink in response, there's a good chance it's highlighting a need to get ACTIVE with our self-care and sobriety maintenance.
hang in there and give some focus TODAY to supporting yourself and your sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 446
Originally Posted by Meraviglioso
Thank you everyone for your words of wisdom and support and thank you Mac for this offer. Really, I have been thinking about it since I read it, it really touched me that you would reach out and offer to help in such a time consuming and constructive way. I think I will take you up on it, and would be glad to pay you for your time of course. I will send you a preliminary PM and then more details when I can bring my work book home with me. Thank you again.
Compensation is out of the question. Happy to help, let's do this. I've sent you a PM.
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