Life is Black
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: York County, PA
Posts: 302
Originally Posted by mandypandy 
Tomorrow I am going to go to AA, I cannot do this by constantly sitting alone.
When I drink the way I want to drink, my spirit and soul goes to a deep, dark place where I am very isolated and alone. And they call alcohol a depressant . . .
The good news is I never have to feel that way away, or ever be alone again.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Geordie Land
Posts: 380
2ndhandrose and Ken, thanks for the encouragment. Deep dark place doesn't even give justice to the black abyss I keep jumping into! But that was the last drink. I would have gone to AA yesterday, but there was only an afternoon one near me and I felt too ill.
Had the night from hell last night, only slept for an hour at a time and some weird, vivid lunaticness thrown up by my unconscious.
I have also stopped smoking. Haven't had one for 24 hours. Am also stopping popping OTC painkillers . Have to taper on that one because it got a bit much last night. Once the drink withdrawals and smoking withdrawals die down a bit, I'll stop those entirely too.
Had the night from hell last night, only slept for an hour at a time and some weird, vivid lunaticness thrown up by my unconscious.
I have also stopped smoking. Haven't had one for 24 hours. Am also stopping popping OTC painkillers . Have to taper on that one because it got a bit much last night. Once the drink withdrawals and smoking withdrawals die down a bit, I'll stop those entirely too.
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 110
Originally Posted by mandypandy
I have also stopped smoking. Haven't had one for 24 hours. Am also stopping popping OTC painkillers . Have to taper on that one because it got a bit much last night. Once the drink withdrawals and smoking withdrawals die down a bit, I'll stop those entirely too.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Good Morning Mandy 
(it is morning for me)
I would agree that you have a lot on your plate.
Not that I want to encourage anyone to smoke, but I wonder if you put that one aside for now, so as to put yourself in the best position for successful sobriety?
Please keep posting, we really care
(it is morning for me)I would agree that you have a lot on your plate.
Not that I want to encourage anyone to smoke, but I wonder if you put that one aside for now, so as to put yourself in the best position for successful sobriety?
Please keep posting, we really care
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Geordie Land
Posts: 380
I would focus on one at a time Fallingstars, and 2ndhandrose but I think one addiction feeds another. Basically, I'm just sick of having a dependence on any substance. Panic when I ran out of drink in the middle of binge, panic when I run out of painkillers, panic when I run out of tobacco. I'm getting on a bit now, so am going for it all together, anyway, I had no choice but to stop smoking as I already spent all my money on booze! I'll see how I go, if it gets too hard, I'll do it more slowly
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