Heartbroken and sober
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 9
Heartbroken and sober
The last day I drank was 26/12/17. That will be the last time I ever drink again! Alcohol has destroyed my life in so many ways. I woke up on Boxing Day and my beautiful loving husband who is the love of my life told me he couldn’t be with me any longer. My whole world crashed down ever since. I’ve tried giving up alcohol so many times in the past but the little voice comes back and convinced me ‘just one will be fine’. When I gave up before I would feel I’d given up so much in terms of social life etc. But now my husband has left me I realise I only had everything to gain. I’m now on my own with two young children. I went to get professional help (for myself but also to show my husband I am going to change this time for good). But it still wasn’t enough. The damage and unintentional hurt I’d caused him was done and I couldn’t change that. I’ve got a key worker who I’m seeing tomorrow and I feel positive about it. I’m just so sad that my husband has left and never coming back. He said he doesn’t love me anymore and that he see’s me differently now. I feel so guilty when I look at my children knowing it’s my fault their daddy no longer lives with them. He’ll still be around but it’s not the same and it wasn’t their fault. I’m doing yoga, meditation, swimming. I’m looking after myself and know I’m going to win this this time and be the best I can be. I’m just so heartbroken it’s unbearable. I heard the saying ‘sometimes people pass through our lives for a reason to teach us lessons that could never be learnt if they stayed.’ I just wish he would come back. I’ve learnt my lesson but I know he won’t. I know I need to focus on increasing my self-esteem, confidence and focus on being a the best mother I can be. I just miss my companion in life. But I know he doesn’t miss me. I just need to be thankful for everything I do still have, a good job, loving family and good friends and a roof over my head.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 132
I am so sorry....
I really don't know what else to add but that it is good that you are focusing on your sobriety & being there for your babes.
I am fortunate enough to have a supportive husband who has seen me go thru hell & back on numerous occasions. It could be that he grew up with an alcoholic father where his mother stood by father's side. Regardless, I am thankful (even tho he does throw it in my face every once in awhile).
Keep staying positive-onward & upward!
I really don't know what else to add but that it is good that you are focusing on your sobriety & being there for your babes.
I am fortunate enough to have a supportive husband who has seen me go thru hell & back on numerous occasions. It could be that he grew up with an alcoholic father where his mother stood by father's side. Regardless, I am thankful (even tho he does throw it in my face every once in awhile).
Keep staying positive-onward & upward!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 219
There are unfortunate consequences for one's actions... and this is one of them. I am sorry for your loss.... I am in a similar boat as you.. I am in the shoes of "your husband".
My wife has lost everything... She is going to have to start over with her career, finances, our relationship, and our family. How each of these goes will depend on how willing she is to work at them. If the drugs become the most important thing in her life again, then I will not likely stay around.
Hopefully your loss of him will help be a reminder of the consequences of your addiction and just give you that moment of strength that you need everytime you feel weak.
T
My wife has lost everything... She is going to have to start over with her career, finances, our relationship, and our family. How each of these goes will depend on how willing she is to work at them. If the drugs become the most important thing in her life again, then I will not likely stay around.
Hopefully your loss of him will help be a reminder of the consequences of your addiction and just give you that moment of strength that you need everytime you feel weak.
T
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 9
Thanks for your messages. I know I just need to move on now. And I will as I can’t be stuck in the past and just need to visualise the future I want for me and the kids and go out there and grab it. I’m 34 and still got a successful career ahead of me plus I need to start tapping into my creativity. He’s gone and there nothing I can do to get him back (unless u know where I can get a time machine?). I just need to change paths now and be the best I can be. Like you said I will always use it as strength never to drink again. I did tell him that although he’s leaving he’s still saved me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,246
Welcome Star. Sorry to hear of your loss. Reading your post I was just so impressed with your strength. Focusing on your children and yourself seems absolutely the right thing do. You are still young with so many opportunities ahead of you. While this relationship may be gone, you can make others when you have found your own path.
Best wishes.
Best wishes.
Sick n tired
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
Sorry your feeling so heartbroken but you need to take a look at where alcohol has taken you. You still have your children believe me when I tell you that alcohol can take them off you as well. I very nearly lost custody of mine because of my drinking. I never ever thought that would happen to me but it did. I’m not trying to preach or nothing but alcohol destroyed my life. Give it time look after your sobriety and things have a way of working out with more sober time. Take care of yourself and reach out
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Welcome, Star. I'm so sorry for the painful time you're going through, but very glad you came here for support. You're doing a great thing by reclaiming your life - almost one whole month is excellent progress. Stay with us - it helps to talk things over here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 9
Well it’s been a long time since I wrote that post above and I’m so grateful for where I am today compared to that awful time. I’m completely tee total still going very well.
Im happy to say there was a happy ending and my husband came back. I’m grateful everyday for my children, husband and all the people in my life. My health. I’ve just had spinal surgery and recovery is going well. I’ve also been promoted into a leadership position in a large organisation. I feel blessed for everything I have. Thank you so much for all you support, advice and wise words when I was going through one of darkest times of my life. I’m now following a brighter path. X
Im happy to say there was a happy ending and my husband came back. I’m grateful everyday for my children, husband and all the people in my life. My health. I’ve just had spinal surgery and recovery is going well. I’ve also been promoted into a leadership position in a large organisation. I feel blessed for everything I have. Thank you so much for all you support, advice and wise words when I was going through one of darkest times of my life. I’m now following a brighter path. X
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 252
Star, that's a great update!! I'm happy for you.
Alcohol also cost me the love of my life, and I very much understand where you were and probably still are in using it for motivation. I, too, thanked her for saving me even though she chose not to stay. I wouldn't be where I am today if I hadn't known her.
Alcohol also cost me the love of my life, and I very much understand where you were and probably still are in using it for motivation. I, too, thanked her for saving me even though she chose not to stay. I wouldn't be where I am today if I hadn't known her.
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