ProfessorD

I booked a short vacation approximately a month from now, and I caught myself, absolutely unconsciously as a matter of habit or instinct, looking up bars near the hotel. As soon as I realized what I was doing I stopped. Then I started thinking about how nice a drink will be for the red-eye. Then I stopped.

I feel panicked, but also kind of calm. This trip is a month from now. Right now I feel like some part of me has already decided to drink. So I have from now until then to decide differently.

Dee74

I'm not a fan of the early in recovery holidays - its not something I could have done.

But ...you have a month to work out a foolproof plan Professor D.

D

DreamCatcher17

I totally get where you're coming from. I'm heading to Chicago on Friday with a group of people, Saturday the plan was to go to a blues bar, I was totally fine with it until today, I just thought that I shouldn't attention that event and be in the environment... So I ordered a spa package from 4 to 7PM and then I'll order room service, a nice steak and a side and watch a movie.

The ups and downs of "oh this sounds fun, I want to join" to the exact opposite of "ya know, this just doesn't feel right" the emotional Rollercoaster of the addict brain, I call it. Just have to rise about the 1st drink, and never have it! - that's me though

Plans change, maybe you too can find some nice self-care spots or a bookstore or something else that pleases you!

I do hope you have a good solid plan while you're there.

Enjoy and be well,
DC

columbus

The best trips I ever made to New Orleans(!) were when there was absolutely no drinking involved.

Went all over the FQ, into nightclubs to hear music, dance...

And it was great and I remember it.

Delilah1

Spend some time googling tourist things to do in the area. Are you going alone, or with friends/family?

hpdw

I went to Amsterdam in early recovery and it was torture . Most of the time I was miserable and in poor me mode .
If you romanticize over drinking while on a holiday a month away and already think that you will drink well! I would guess your chances of a sober holiday are slim . I hope you can work out a plan though .

PeacefulWater12

I would not have been able to cope with a holiday that early in my quit.

Hope it goes ok.

SnazzyDresser

The way you framed this, it seems like a situation fraught with peril. In the course of your thinking, you might want to shuffle your plans around there.

Nonsensical

Intentionally visualize other scenarios. Your brain is wandering down old familiar corridors. Give it some new ones to wander. Do it now. Look up sober activities near the hotel. Pick a few out and visualize yourself doing them. Visualize what you will do on the flight instead of drinking.

Visualizing these things now will make them easier to choose when the moment comes. Train your brain!

Enjoy your vacation!

2ndhandrose

"So I have from now until then to decide differently."

Why not decide right now that you are not going to drink?

Then go hard on researching all the awesome non drinking adventures you can have instead!

August252015

Similar thoughts when I read your post. And as others said, I wouldn't have taken a trip so soon - in fact, I did not take a first trip til a week or so away from 9 mo sober. Not because I feared drinking- but because I was building a life without alcohol.

Rather than thinking "you have a month to change your mind about drinking" perhaps flip that and think of it as a month to increase your recovery muscles, go to meetings or other IRL support, with your premise being you won't drink and making plans for your trip starting from there.

Best to you.

ProfessorD

Wow, thanks for all the great thoughts here. I called the trip a "vacation" which is misleading since it's actually a trip for my research. (The scheduling and location makes it a vacation for me since it falls in the school year). I'm determined not to drink, and I'm looking up all kinds of other activities I can do. I'm going by myself which is good and bad--no one will stop me if I drink, but then again, I won't be pressured into any social activities or late nights that make me uncomfortable. Right now I'm looking at parks and museums and coffee shops where I can spend my time. I know it will be challenging, but I feel like if I can make it through this trip, I'll be really strong and can get through anything!

ProfessorD

It's totally my goal to make that decision now. I thought I [I]had [/I ] made that decision, which is why I was surprised to find myself unconsciously romanticizing drinking.

MyLittleHorsie

I did the same thing thinking about the trip to visit my in-laws at Christmas, we had a night in the city, before driving out to their place and a night at the end before flying back. I thought about the visit a couple summers ago when we attended a big party and bar hopped and how much fun it would be to go down in that area of the city again...

I made a plan and stuck to it - well I didn't, I got the flu upon landing and we had a wicked winter storm when leaving, but I still stayed sober, got more sober time, made more sober decisions...

We have an open house coming up, (our house is for sale), which coincides with a long weekend and the last weekend of a huge winter festival, pretty obvious where I'm going LOL Of everything I have booked and planned, there is not one single thing that relates to alcohol. This tells me I am making progress and getting a handle on my problem. I will not buy booze, I will not drink booze, like Dr Seuss for alcoholics! It is off the table, not happening, no matter what.

As an aside, when I was sick on holiday, my husband brought me cough syrup - I took a big swig, then asked, was there alcohol in it? My husband got all apologetic, OMG I didn't think, blah, blah, blah. I just laughed, he has a knack for picking the crappiest tasting cough syrups in the world, I don't care if it was 100 proof, I sure as hell never drank cough syrup for a buzz before, I wouldn't start with that! I just wanted to get him going, tease him a bit.

Enjoy your vacation, I need a weekend away monthly to restore my sanity I won't give them up, just because I am sober, but I will have a plan and an itinerary and an escape and I will not drink.

biminiblue

Drinking thoughts just sort of happen in early days.

Well done catching the thoughts and turning them around. That's recovery, right there.

Coldfusion

Look up AA meetings in the area. If you've never been to one, maybe this is a good time to try!