First Meeting Tonight!
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Right here.
Posts: 105
First Meeting Tonight!
Tonight marks a major milestone for me, my first AA meeting.
It was a large meeting, so not much individual parcipitation, but when they asked first-timers to stand, I somehow worked up the nerve to do so. One wonderful woman even came up to me afterwards and gave me the copy of the Big Book that she had won in the raffle. Probably 2 dozen other people introduced themselves. I was made to feel very welcome even though many of those people had many, even dozens of sober years behind them, and there I stood with just 2 days.
I've got another meeting lined up for tomorrow, and another for Wednesday. I plan to follow through with the 90 meetings in 90 days.
Had a big office party last Friday for Halloween. I, of course, don't remember most of it. I do remember waking up Saturday morning with cuts and scrapes all over my face, and several big gashes in my head. The first thing I did, of course, was to go outside and check the vehicle to see if I had been in an accident. Nope. (Phew!!!!) Pretty scary when you consider it to be a possibility that you had been in a car wreck and don't remember. Still haven't figured out how my face got banged up, may have just taken some falls after I got home.
I give up. I can't do this anymore. I'm finally convinced that, at least for me, drinking means either death or prison.
It was a large meeting, so not much individual parcipitation, but when they asked first-timers to stand, I somehow worked up the nerve to do so. One wonderful woman even came up to me afterwards and gave me the copy of the Big Book that she had won in the raffle. Probably 2 dozen other people introduced themselves. I was made to feel very welcome even though many of those people had many, even dozens of sober years behind them, and there I stood with just 2 days.
I've got another meeting lined up for tomorrow, and another for Wednesday. I plan to follow through with the 90 meetings in 90 days.
Had a big office party last Friday for Halloween. I, of course, don't remember most of it. I do remember waking up Saturday morning with cuts and scrapes all over my face, and several big gashes in my head. The first thing I did, of course, was to go outside and check the vehicle to see if I had been in an accident. Nope. (Phew!!!!) Pretty scary when you consider it to be a possibility that you had been in a car wreck and don't remember. Still haven't figured out how my face got banged up, may have just taken some falls after I got home.
I give up. I can't do this anymore. I'm finally convinced that, at least for me, drinking means either death or prison.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Hi, and welcome to SoberRecovery.
Don't be surprised that these folks with lots of sober years congregated around you and made you feel welcomed.
A newcomer is always the most important person at a meeting.
They got as much out of the experience of meeting you as you did meeting them.
It's how it works.
Glad you're here.
Don't be surprised that these folks with lots of sober years congregated around you and made you feel welcomed.
A newcomer is always the most important person at a meeting.
They got as much out of the experience of meeting you as you did meeting them.
It's how it works.
Glad you're here.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: western canada
Posts: 1,441
Hi S-urge..
A warm welcome to SR...
I never had blackouts...
Sometimes I wished I did... cause when I remembered some things I did...
But no.. blackouts would be worse.
I tried for so long to control my using by myself. Even when I went into program... I was always looking for the easy way...
But.. nothing much of note happened until I finally admitted that there were simply some things in life I could not will myself to do... like stop using.
And it first had to happen around food... cause I could stick the plug in the jug and pretend I was okay... for a bit... but... I am bulimic as well... and have to entertain my addiction to that all through the day... every day.
And that's when I realized what "giving up my will" meant and felt like.
I applaud your goal of 90 in 90... it's a very worthy, achievable goal...
I find this forum to be a huge outlet for me as well in my recovery... cause I can put my insanity down here and not puke it all over the people that care about me.
Blessings on your journey..
A warm welcome to SR...
I never had blackouts...
Sometimes I wished I did... cause when I remembered some things I did...
But no.. blackouts would be worse.
I tried for so long to control my using by myself. Even when I went into program... I was always looking for the easy way...
But.. nothing much of note happened until I finally admitted that there were simply some things in life I could not will myself to do... like stop using.
And it first had to happen around food... cause I could stick the plug in the jug and pretend I was okay... for a bit... but... I am bulimic as well... and have to entertain my addiction to that all through the day... every day.
And that's when I realized what "giving up my will" meant and felt like.
I applaud your goal of 90 in 90... it's a very worthy, achievable goal...
I find this forum to be a huge outlet for me as well in my recovery... cause I can put my insanity down here and not puke it all over the people that care about me.
Blessings on your journey..
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Right here.
Posts: 105
Thanks for the kind words, everyone!
Not feeling so terribly smart right now, Splendra. Quite the opposite.
Believe it or not, even just 2 days seems like a major accomplishment right now. I've been drinking a case or more of beer a day for quite awhile now, making sure to finish off any leftovers the next morning before work. That first day without a drink was horrible. The shakes were so bad it was a major struggle to even get coffee made. Today's still bad, but at least there have been some breaks in it. Hopefully tomorrow it'll be better yet.
Thanks again, guys. It's nice to know there are people who are still willing to accept me in spite of this problem.
Not feeling so terribly smart right now, Splendra. Quite the opposite.
Believe it or not, even just 2 days seems like a major accomplishment right now. I've been drinking a case or more of beer a day for quite awhile now, making sure to finish off any leftovers the next morning before work. That first day without a drink was horrible. The shakes were so bad it was a major struggle to even get coffee made. Today's still bad, but at least there have been some breaks in it. Hopefully tomorrow it'll be better yet.
Thanks again, guys. It's nice to know there are people who are still willing to accept me in spite of this problem.
Not the center of the Universe
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orchard Lake, Michigan
Posts: 974
Originally Posted by subliminalurge
Believe it or not, even just 2 days seems like a major accomplishment right now.
Congratulations on attending your first meeting. A.A. is not for everyone but when it works (as it did for me), it works big time. I didn't want A.A., didn't think I needed A.A., fought tooth and nail against believing in A.A., but for some goofy reason I never stopped going to A.A. Could I have stopped drinking without A.A.? Maybe or maybe not, but I would have missed out on the oppourtunity to meet and get to know some of the nicest, most sincere and most thoughtful people I have ever encountered in my 42 years on planet earth. I can honestly say that today I am happier than I have ever been and it's all good (except when it's not and even then it's 100% better than it was).
I wish you all the best in your recovery. Hokey as it sounds, you really are starting something that has the power to change your life in ways you can't even imagine.
Jah Bless
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England, UK
Posts: 197
Hi Sub
Well done on your 2 days and well done on getting to AA.
I'm 3 months sober now and believe me it just gets better.
Most of us have found it possible to beat the booze on our own. You will lots of support na dhelp both on this site and in AA.
You're in the right place. Keep at it...one day at a time. It's worth it.
Rich
Well done on your 2 days and well done on getting to AA.
I'm 3 months sober now and believe me it just gets better.
Most of us have found it possible to beat the booze on our own. You will lots of support na dhelp both on this site and in AA.
You're in the right place. Keep at it...one day at a time. It's worth it.
Rich
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Right here.
Posts: 105
Thanks again for the replies, everyone!
Today (day 3) is going pretty well so far. The shakes are back in full force, but the cravings have decided to give me a (temporary, I'm sure) break. I slept restlessly last night, and woke up every hour or so, but even though I'm dog tired, I still feel WAY better than the hangovers I've grown accustomed to waking up with.
One thing I've realized over the past few days is that when my stomach gets empty, some fancy bit of re-wiring in my brain interprets that as "need beer" instead of "need food". I suppose it's going to require some patience to get myself retrained on that.
Wow. My caffeine tolerance has dropped to a shadow of its former self, too! I used to chug coffee all day long, and today 4 cups has me dizzy and wired. I used to need a whole pot just to work up the nerve to take my morning shower.
I think maybe I'll go to church on Sunday and see if I can reconnect with the God that I was raised to believe in. One thing that I was told last night at the meeting was that I need to find a higher power, and to be perfectly blunt, right now my higher power is Miller Lite. Not good, obviously.
Thanks again for being here, guys. I can't do this on my own, I'm going to need all the support I can get.
Today (day 3) is going pretty well so far. The shakes are back in full force, but the cravings have decided to give me a (temporary, I'm sure) break. I slept restlessly last night, and woke up every hour or so, but even though I'm dog tired, I still feel WAY better than the hangovers I've grown accustomed to waking up with.
One thing I've realized over the past few days is that when my stomach gets empty, some fancy bit of re-wiring in my brain interprets that as "need beer" instead of "need food". I suppose it's going to require some patience to get myself retrained on that.
Wow. My caffeine tolerance has dropped to a shadow of its former self, too! I used to chug coffee all day long, and today 4 cups has me dizzy and wired. I used to need a whole pot just to work up the nerve to take my morning shower.
I think maybe I'll go to church on Sunday and see if I can reconnect with the God that I was raised to believe in. One thing that I was told last night at the meeting was that I need to find a higher power, and to be perfectly blunt, right now my higher power is Miller Lite. Not good, obviously.
Thanks again for being here, guys. I can't do this on my own, I'm going to need all the support I can get.
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Right here.
Posts: 105
Originally Posted by DrFrier
The last thing I would want to do is watch a video of my blackouts. Oh ............
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Join Date: Nov 2004
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Posts: 105
45 minutes 'til tonight's meeting. Still hanging in there, but tonight's been a little rough. As soon as 5:00 rolled around and I left the office, the cravings have been unbelievable. I've just been taking it minute by minute, and I'm almost there. I had errands to run so I didn't get much to eat, I'm sure the empty stomach isn't helping matters.
I have to stop for gas on the way. A little nervous about that. It's going to be tough to walk in and pay for the gas without grabbing some beer, too.
Just needed to ramble a little bit. It's nice seeing my thoughts typed out in nice straight lines instead of buzzing around randomly like a swarm of bees the way they do in my head.
I have to stop for gas on the way. A little nervous about that. It's going to be tough to walk in and pay for the gas without grabbing some beer, too.
Just needed to ramble a little bit. It's nice seeing my thoughts typed out in nice straight lines instead of buzzing around randomly like a swarm of bees the way they do in my head.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: God's Grace
Posts: 689
Originally Posted by subliminalurge
I think maybe I'll go to church on Sunday and see if I can reconnect with the God that I was raised to believe in.
Hello, I have found that connecting with God to be huge in my recovery. Huge! Going back to church was a totally different experience then the times I would go while growing up. The scripture actually makes more sence when I listen to it. The sermons often hit home much more. The Teachings seem to go right along with recovery. It says in the Big Book page 87, "be quick to see where religous people are right." Anyways congrats on getting out to meetings. Sonds like your on th right track. Keep up the good work!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: NJ
Posts: 9
Hey...34 days here...I've been doing the AA thing too...don't have a sponsor yet, but I've been hitting meetings whenever possible....actually get excited about going to some of them...
In the first two weeks caffeine will hurt you bad...it tremendously adds to anxiety and the shakes...switch to decaf coffee and soda for a while...after about 3 weeks i was able to get back to a comfortable caffeine consumption level...sleep has already gotten better for me...
Good Luck!
In the first two weeks caffeine will hurt you bad...it tremendously adds to anxiety and the shakes...switch to decaf coffee and soda for a while...after about 3 weeks i was able to get back to a comfortable caffeine consumption level...sleep has already gotten better for me...
Good Luck!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: The Field of Dreams
Posts: 7,249
Hello Sub.I am so glad you found AA.The best friends I ever had are from the rooms of AA and NA.It sounds like your on the right track,90 meetings in 90 days.I am also glad you found Soberrecovery.This is a great place with plenty of support.
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Join Date: Nov 2004
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Posts: 105
NJGuy, Thanks for the tip on caffeine. That was one part of withdrawal I hadn't heard about anywhere else. This morning I just had one cup to clear out the cobwebs (drinking or not, I've never been much of a morning person. LOL) and then switched to OJ. Feeling much more calm and settled today. I guess it makes sense, though. Without the alcohol as a counterbalance, the caffeine if free to really take off and do its thing.
I found out another great thing last night on my way home from my meeting. I stopped into the grocery store and bought enough food for breakfast and dinner for 3 or 4 days, and it came up to less money than I'm used to spending on beer for just one day. (Simple meals, mind you, no steaks, lobsters or anything.
)
Speaking of last night's meeting, on the way there I drove past two cop cars that had a guy pulled over and were giving him the field sobriety tests. How's that for positive reinforcement? Big time, slap in the face style reminder about why going through this withdrawal process is worth it.
I found out another great thing last night on my way home from my meeting. I stopped into the grocery store and bought enough food for breakfast and dinner for 3 or 4 days, and it came up to less money than I'm used to spending on beer for just one day. (Simple meals, mind you, no steaks, lobsters or anything.
)Speaking of last night's meeting, on the way there I drove past two cop cars that had a guy pulled over and were giving him the field sobriety tests. How's that for positive reinforcement? Big time, slap in the face style reminder about why going through this withdrawal process is worth it.
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