Phinneas

The universe speaks TO us if we can just listen. I like your take on seeing that field sobriety test. I've been there and it is HORRIFYING. I'm glad you're getting help now so that you never, ever have to go through that. Keep strong.

jojo

subliminalurge

The thing is, I've been there, too. Twice. That's why it hit home so hard. The first thought that went through my head when I saw it was that I can either detox in the comfort of my own home, or in a jail cell. It's my choice. But I WILL have to go through these withdrawals sometime or another. I'd rather do it on my own schedule.

Phinneas

Wow. How's that for a reminder of the insanity of this disease. I got a DUI and it was so humiliating. But did I stop using? NO! Ugh! The things we do and go through boggle my mind. That's why they say powerful, cunning and baffeling, eh? I am still feeling a huge amount of shame over my DUI. But I have come to realize that I have to be honest and my DUI was a consequence of my using. How did you deal with yours?

jojo

Aa_vark

Hi Sub, Welcome to the fellowship.

I've been there too, coming too in a cell, coming down in a rehab bed - My Binges would leave me wondering what i had done, where am i, how could i have done this again. I went through the wringer with booze, and hard drugs for a long time.

The Miracle - we have in common - is that we embraced the solution -

Welcome to AA. We can and do recover...

If you can make those 90 in 90, that would be great. I need to work on my recovery every day. If you only make 70 in 90, you havent failed, either. This is a one day at a time program. Take it easy... Do what you need to do to stay sober one day at a time.

Keep postin, and :spectacle stay tuned for a miracle...

subliminalurge

To be perfectly honest, I dealt with them by paying the fines, attending the classes, doing the jail time, and then crying in my beer over losing all that money. Did it ever cross my mind that it was MY fault? Hell no. I was perfectly fine, it was those d*mn cops that needed to just lighten up. In fact, on both occassions I had a beer in my hand within 20 minutes of being released from jail.

That's been awhile back, though. I can see the insanity of it now, but I couldn't then.

NJGuy

I'm Back on caffeine now with no problems, so don't worry you can have your coffee and soda soon enough...

If you are still feeling anxiety Valerian Root can calm you down.

Also the book "Understanding The Alcoholic's Mind" has been very helpul to me...it gives a lot of insights into the disease and methods for dealing with cravings.
And AA meetings are a big help, even if the meeting sucks, someone always seems to say something that hits home... One guy brought up the INSANITY part of the the disease...he likened it to....
"If you had a friend that came over every night at 6pm and rang your bell, and every night that you let him in, at 8pm he kicked the crap out of you...but yet every night at 6pm when he asks to come in you still say SURE, come on in.... THAT IS INSANE...but you and I invited alcohol in on a regular basis, knowing what the result would be.

subliminalurge

Thanks for the tips, NJGuy.

I think I'm actually over the hump on the withdrawals (hope I'm not speaking too soon). Yesterday was pretty brutal, but I woke up this morning feeling a lot better. No shakes, pulse rate back to normal, no anxiety to speak of. I made a pot of coffee this morning (half the usual strength) and had a few cups. Perked me up with no side effects.

It's a sunny day, and I was late to work because I took some time to do something that I haven't done in a very, very long time. I just walked around the yard for an hour, enjoying the fresh air, looking at the flowers, enjoying the sunshine, and really just appreciating the fact that I have a home to live in.

I like the analogy you quoted. It makes a lot of sense. Especially in comparing drinking to a friendship. One thing that somebody touched on in one of my meetings the other night was that walking away from alcohol is very similar to losing a close friend. Many (most? all?) of us even go through the 5 stages of the grieving process. (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance)